Jack Monroe #86 Precariously fine, not smelly

[Missmopps]

I don’t mind doing the odd one now and again tbh it’s just the ads are monotonous plus I started seeing Jack’s face absolutely everywhere

Could a Frau with far superior computer skills than me set up a colour palette for her food à la Farrow and Ball?
We could call it, "Harrowing and Bore" and come up with some pretentious nonsense names for the particular colours of nasty she manages to make all her food have.

I’m totally up for that. We would’t even have to change Sulking room pink as I’m sure that’s more than apt and describes one of the many reading rooms in the crappy bungalow

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Your mentioning SB’s dad reminds me of this comment on the Mumsnet thread which was widely thought to from the dad himself. I know it’s been posted on here before but it’s worth a repeat I think because it speaks volumes about the dynamics between him (and probably the wider family) and Jack. Particularly this bit:
“His son wants for nothing has a stable and loving family despite his parents being separated it is just the case that the father does not promote his side as he has to try and keep the peace to be able to keep seeing his son as regularly as he can and so has to suffer people's misinterpreting the gaps left in the publicity machine around the 'single mother does good' bubble“.

Some of that is quite personal info. Also 'dad has son 3-4 nights sometimes more' says it all for me. Clearly someone very close to the dad if it's not he himself going by the user name. I think it is actually him though. Jack frequented Mumsnet a lot back then didn't she? Maybe a large chunk of her audience was on there and started asking uncomfortable questions so poor dad had to post a disclaimer of sorts. Jack is a murky bastard.

 

[Pixieboots]

Tbf, my slow cooker is a chalkboard one as well.

I've only ever drawn a dick on it, mind you.

 

[Scarletfever]

Tbf, my slow cooker is a chalkboard one as well.

I've only ever drawn a dick on it, mind you.

Are you Brenda by any chance?

 

[Missmopps]

Orange bleeping pasta? You animal.

According to R Jackie, it’s a Roman classic. She uses tinned mandarins, as you would in Italy of course. POBP and Parmesan to garnish.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

I hate how she's implying that she's loaded it and is pushing it all the way home herself.
Who's taking the bleeping photo then?
Are they just standing about, watching?

At least we know she didn't use her tongue

 

[TreeTrunksApplePie]

Where is her son getting his calcium from? No cheese, no milk. Yes you can SURVIVE on this and not be hungry. But why would you risk your child's health and purposefully not meet his nutritional needs when you quite clearly can afford to?

The sardines if he eats the bones and the bread if it’s fortified, as it usually is in the UK. But yes you’re right. Nowhere near enough for a growing kid. Not even some leafy greens or fortified non dairy.

If food is meant to be her thing and she puts herself in the same realm as Jamie Oliver, she could at least, like Oliver do a basic nutrition course. Or at the very least, a friggin google search.

It’s bizarre as she references things like her cupboard organisation or her 5 a day counts like she has some idea, but it’s like she’s just heard of these things and not even bothered to look at the very basic explanations.

Her explaining how her and SB had hit their 5 a day was bizarre. You don’t get 1 portion from an 8th of an onion or a quarter of a carrot It really concerns me how misleading she is.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

I'm posting as I grunk, thinking out loud. Re coins in sofa, we are moving towards a cashless society and that is a scenario which is disappearing fast.
Re the Hopkins Court Case win, she said she would donate it all to charity.

 

[Fraggle]

Chickpea and lentils followed by three and a half fishy boiled eggs? She must have sturdy bowels, I’ve got a gripey stomach just thinking about it

Perhaps this is why she’s never considered a bird for a pet...

 

[TreeTrunksApplePie]

I am surprised she doesn't claim she is too poor to heat hot water and does with a bucket of cold water and carbolic soap.

Who says their landlady’s garden when they are renting? When you’re renting it’s your house and your garden! You’re paying for the privilege. When is she going to realise she isn’t the only renter in the world?

Put the rod away Jack!

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

View attachment 272844

With Mom and dear heart dad I see. WTF was Jay Rayner on when he said that? Normally he takes no tit. Maybe Jack force fed him slop.

Also, imagine how many tins you could fit on one Cotswald sideboard never mind eleventy billion. The tit shed could store a ton of tins too. She has truckloads of space.

 

[Cookiecookie]

I feel as though this is directed at us
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Surely, if that was the point (it isn't) you'd buy exactly the same things for reference? Eg tin of beans, bag of flour, bottle of milk or whatever. Not buy different things every time. Also, most receipts are thermo printed now and fade stupidly quickly, so I'd not be surprised if the weirdo isn't just hoarding thousands of scraps of what used to be receipts in her 84 sideboards.

 

[Missmopps]

ETA this isn’t Jack’s face

Same specs though

 

[NaeDebates]

'Bookcase of lies!' HAHAHA! I like that!
She hasn't even got the pamphlet we all received as they administered the 'Gay Serum'..

So Fraus at the age of 30 (took a while for the Penny to drop eh) I came out to my Mum on Friday - is my pamphlet and manual in the post?!

 

[Incywincy]

I am *sure* Jack posted a photo a few years ago of her lugging books or something to the post box/office in a wagon.

 

[bazzam]

I am certain some deleted tweets (natch) showed her with loads of flowers thanking people for sending her them. Those were I assume her arena flowers subscription that she sends herself.

I am sure elton john nearly went broke a few years ago due to his lavish spending on fresh flowers.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I am certain some deleted tweets (natch) showed her with loads of flowers thanking people for sending her them. Those were I assume her arena flowers subscription that she sends herself.

I am sure elton john nearly went broke a few years ago due to his lavish spending on fresh flowers.

She tagged people, so I assume they were genuine gifts. Shocking quality though, so she must've had them for a while before taking the pic (which was after her ex Instagramed a pic of gifts she'd received post split).

 

[Incywincy]

In my hunt to find the wagon photo I have just seen this. Haven't squiggled because seems pretty anonymous anyway. My first thought was this has to be Jack, surely none one would make such a statement? But I read a few more posts from the user and while some of the writing/cooking style is similar, it appears to be someone else.

Would love to see their evidence...

 

[Icing _on_ the_cake]

What’s the likelihood that she’s just getting in early, hedging her bets before Brexit. Let’s assume that’s she’s correct, that after Brexit and with COVID that the economy will take bit of a downturn (hardly need a degree In political science or Global finance to assume this prediction that is otherwise all over the papers) and assuming then that a few of her peers may also go down the frugal route, cheaper options etc, then she’ll be perfectly placed to kick off and claim victimhood for having her niche stolen - or whatever it is that she moans about. She’s game playing.

What I find a bit wtf is that she seems almost rather excited about austerity coming back (not that it really went away, it just became 'normal' ).

 

[Blurp]

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Selfish cow.

Utter and total bollocks.

I'm into the second week of suspected gastroenteritis/urine infection and fourth day of antibiotics. I can't summon up the energy to even go up to the village to get dog and cat food (for the dogs and cats, before you get ideas, Kack Morose).

I've literally just completed an Asda order that will be delivered to me TODAY after 1PM for the ginormous cost of £1.

I might live rurally but in the central belt of Scotland and in prime commuter territory. The only things in my basket that they said were out of stock was old fashioned lemonade and mini marshmallows for my hot chocolate, so I'll have maltesers instead.

'Military Bearing!' HAHAHA! Without myself, she would have been beasted out of any service in the first 2 weeks. If that.

First day.