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SweetTransvestite
VIP Member
Congratulations
Yes, you'll shortly receive your 'Welcome Pack' (beware when opening as they do tend to stuff it with glitter). The contents of which vary depending on which branch you affiliate with but may include;
* Manual (rules & such like, what music & books to enjoy etc)
* Directory of Gays (so when someone says, 'omg, my X Y Z is a gay, do you know them')
* Uniform (again, dependant on what you ticked on your application but I recieved a selection of;
too-tight t shirts, big boots, studded belts.
(this was 20yrs ago, the uniform has been updated. However bizarrely, on switching acronym I recieved a Rigby & Peller bra and ribbed sport socks?)
* A promise that you're now part of a massive family, we love & support each other...We've got your back
Hope this helps xoxo
NaeDebates
Member
So Fraus at the age of 30 (took a while for the Penny to drop eh) I came out to my Mum on Friday - is my pamphlet and manual in the post?!
heretoreaditall2019
VIP Member
Omg just fucking grow up PLEASE. She really has no idea how privileged she is to not have to work outside the home? How many women (single mums with no co parenting respite) leave the house in the dark, commute for an hour, work all fucking day, commute back in the dark again worried sick delays will make them late to pick their kid up from their childcare, then go home and do dinner / sort kids out / try and relax and get some sleep for themselves... in the dark? Also without £100k per annum diversified income streams & a house ram packed with high end gadgets.
Honestly cannot imagine how far removed from reality she is to talk like this. You can tell she doesn’t practice gratitude lists can’t you.
blackEm
New member
Long time lurker here to say hello and thankyou for the laughs these past few weeks (looking for a job in the middle of a pandemic is really depressing and you fraus never fail to make me laugh!)
I started following Jack a few years back when I shared a 2 bed flat with 4 mates to save some money. I am not on IG/Twitter so it took me a while to see through her bullshit.
My trans girlfriend and I had just moved in together at the time of her starting T and that horrid Guardian photoshoot. I realise that transitioning is a very personal and individual experience that I will never be able to fully understand, but her rethoric of 'dresses are for girls, suits are for boys' could be so damaging for many people out there reading her content.
Also I don't really get this weird beige postcard thingy. There is a lovely subscription service out there called Simply Cook, where you pick 4 recipes of your choice for £10 (on a premium card of course) and get the spices and flavour pots delivered. All the recipes are very tasty and easy to cook with basic ingredients. I believe you can get these in Asda too.
Now fuck off x
I started following Jack a few years back when I shared a 2 bed flat with 4 mates to save some money. I am not on IG/Twitter so it took me a while to see through her bullshit.
My trans girlfriend and I had just moved in together at the time of her starting T and that horrid Guardian photoshoot. I realise that transitioning is a very personal and individual experience that I will never be able to fully understand, but her rethoric of 'dresses are for girls, suits are for boys' could be so damaging for many people out there reading her content.
Also I don't really get this weird beige postcard thingy. There is a lovely subscription service out there called Simply Cook, where you pick 4 recipes of your choice for £10 (on a premium card of course) and get the spices and flavour pots delivered. All the recipes are very tasty and easy to cook with basic ingredients. I believe you can get these in Asda too.
Now fuck off x
Alansbigplate
VIP Member
People-huv-tae-know
VIP Member
Still grunking but Jack is really fucking me off tonight. The absolute lies in massive neon lights, why is no one calling her out? She is not poor or desperate for food.
On a personal level the disability cosplay really gets to me. Her using real equipment to add to her narrative as though they were props is sick. In my house (not rented and not big) we have 3 oxygen canisters, oxygen concentrater, 50 feet of tubing, NG tubes, nasal cannula, SATs monitor, nebulizer, suction machine, hundreds of syringes, a walking frame, a wheelchair, physio based toys, adapted bath chair and so much more. And that is all for one child who genuinely needs it and thanks to the NHS is getting the care she needs. She is under 5, has been on life support including a ventilator, had major surgery plus post surgical complications and she never complains. She gets on with life and tries to do everything a healthy child would do. We are so so grateful to the NHS for saving her life and try to support the hospital charity as often as possible.
Jack by comparison is an utter charlatan and extremely brazen and offensive to genuinely disabled people, all for Twitter points and Patreon dollars.
Jack you can well and truly once and for all fuck off with your outrageous lies. What a pity you are too much of a non entity for the mainstream media to do an expose on.
Sorry for the rant fraus but she makes a mockery of genuine disabled people and their carers. Now fuck off but in an affectionate cabal way
On a personal level the disability cosplay really gets to me. Her using real equipment to add to her narrative as though they were props is sick. In my house (not rented and not big) we have 3 oxygen canisters, oxygen concentrater, 50 feet of tubing, NG tubes, nasal cannula, SATs monitor, nebulizer, suction machine, hundreds of syringes, a walking frame, a wheelchair, physio based toys, adapted bath chair and so much more. And that is all for one child who genuinely needs it and thanks to the NHS is getting the care she needs. She is under 5, has been on life support including a ventilator, had major surgery plus post surgical complications and she never complains. She gets on with life and tries to do everything a healthy child would do. We are so so grateful to the NHS for saving her life and try to support the hospital charity as often as possible.
Jack by comparison is an utter charlatan and extremely brazen and offensive to genuinely disabled people, all for Twitter points and Patreon dollars.
Jack you can well and truly once and for all fuck off with your outrageous lies. What a pity you are too much of a non entity for the mainstream media to do an expose on.
Sorry for the rant fraus but she makes a mockery of genuine disabled people and their carers. Now fuck off but in an affectionate cabal way
Congratulations to @Geetbo the sock king for the thread title - you’ve popped your thread title cherry. 123 reactions 
Your prize: a year’s worth of socks.
Recap of thread 85
Your prize: a year’s worth of socks.Recap of thread 85
- Jack Monroe: Riverdance. Something’s got to help three devilled eggs through the digestive system. Hhhhnnnngggg.
- She brought up her 4.5 GCSEs again and how she showed her ex-teacher what’s what. Needless to say, last laughs were had, etc.
- She’s going to make a huuuuuge list of independent artists, small shops and creatives to help with Christmas shopping. She really is. Just after this dinosaur nap.
- Her next brainchild has been launched! Thrifty Shades of Beige, how droll. ‘Premium quality recipe cards through your letterbox’ (okay) of comfort foods, classics and reimagined faves. All for the low, low price of £9.50 + VAT per month. The cards are limited, so hurry, hurry. Or not.
- She’s also currently editing hundreds of testimonies of life and death under austerity Britain. Still?
- She bought some shit art with a right on political message.
- There were puddings with questionable sauce, if you cared enough.
- She’s ‘eaten well this week’. M&S does have a cracking ready meal selection.
- Her pal Marcus Rashford is getting an MBE. She isn’t. But she’s known about this for literally ages, okay?
- Behold her newest curry on instagram, and she really doesn’t know why you couldn’t comment before, but you can now, so please comment! If you want to!!
- Please add anything I have missed.
[*]
For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info):
Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack versus Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/
Thread #31 is the infamous one in which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on p. 17.
For anyone wanting to relive the glory days of her two-week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL), have a grunk a through threads 2-9.
*** JACKISMS ***
Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:
Yes, absolutely x
Some other favourite Jack quotes:
‘Babe, same’
‘I did a chaos’
‘My maverick brain’
‘My sad little face’
‘I’m BUSY’
‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’
‘I laughed up a lung’
One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, bullying ninnies, and malign, vicious bullies **
To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).
Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts in order to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it won’t be the last. *
Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)
We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.
During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.
Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.
Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ‘Now fuck off’. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to fuck off, simply paying homage to Jack’s own genteel humour.
*Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail ‘She’s Lying’ picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jack’s latest tales. @Alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that she’s lying.*
Also:
- She grew up in a 5-bed (mortgaged/owned) house
- She got a £4.5k Omega watch for her 21st birthday
- Her dad's a fucking LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
- Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jack’s words: ‘She [Louisa] left’.
- Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
- She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
- During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. ‘It just does.’
- The information held on her by Companies House has her year of birth WRONG. She was born in 1988, not 1978.
Here is a link to Jack’s Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering ‘Terrible!’ on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ‘s hilarious Glossary of Jack.
We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
[*]
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Pixieboots
Chatty Member
Tbf, my slow cooker is a chalkboard one as well.
I've only ever drawn a dick on it, mind you.
I've only ever drawn a dick on it, mind you.
HarderFaster
VIP Member
If she already has what sounds like a pretty full larder of essentials like pulses, grains and pasta, and an entire fridge-side with magnetic tins of spices, this surely directly contravenes the entire point of her “cooking on a budget” schtick??? It’s not a £20 a week shop if:
a) you are bulking every meal out with things not included in that price
b) you’ve been marauding the yellow sticker aisles which have no consistent content or pricing for readers to emulate
c) as mentioned, you are not at some point including toothpaste, tampons, shower gel and shampoo within these costs
Her entire life’s work is a sham, and needs exposing.
Just been ranting to my boyfriend about this but I’ve had some really harrowing experiences volunteering at foodbanks (aware that it’s nothing compared to having to use them) such as the woman who came in crying because she had bled through her trousers and another who didn’t want to sit at the same table as us to fill out her forms because she hadn’t been able to brush her teeth and was scared her breath smelled. The reality of poverty is dirty and shameful for those living it and foodbanks exist to help people allay these situations with dignity. In missing toiletries off her shop she’s conveniently ignoring these awful problems, and in donating to her (a FUCKING SHOPPING TROLLEY FOR FUCK’S SAKE WHEN SHES GOT A £400 HAMMOCK) instead of legitimate poverty charities her followers are just assuaging their middle class guilt.
I haaaaaaate her.
Alansbigplate
VIP Member
MancBee
VIP Member
That is not the only food cupboard in her kitchen.
She has riled me today. Such a bare-faced liar. She makes me so angry. It is just playing into the hands of the Tory Government. I can almost hear them saying "look how easy it is to feed a family on £20, these people on benefits get plenty of money."
She is dangerous to the people living in real poverty.
She has riled me today. Such a bare-faced liar. She makes me so angry. It is just playing into the hands of the Tory Government. I can almost hear them saying "look how easy it is to feed a family on £20, these people on benefits get plenty of money."
She is dangerous to the people living in real poverty.
Switchstreetz
VIP Member
If i were to hazard a guess, its probably because they're so invested.
We've all probably heard of "cognitive dissonance" where we learn or experience something which goes against our beliefs and our brain struggles to reconcile it.
E.g. say you honestly firmly believed that "everyone from Newcastle is evil and eats babies" and you'd been told this from birth, then one day you go on a sleeper train to Edinburgh, and chat to a nice geordie in Dishoom who is really charming and shows zero penchant for infant-chomping.
Your brain is like "?!?!?!" as it struggles to reconcile the two. Sometimes this results in you realising the belief was wrong and unlearn your irrational fear - so you stop crossing the street to avoid anyone eating a Greggs sausage roll. A lot of the time, sadly, (and particularly if this is a belief we've held for a long time and one we know our friends and family believe) our mind will literally contort itself into knots to try and avoid this conflict.
This is how you get "X isn't like the others he's a GOOD (insert group of people)" or maybe Mr X in dishoom was just PRETENDING to be nice because he wanted something, maybe he was trying to trick you?
And its even worse if there's the fear that if you drop this belief, your circle of friends/family will shun you. This is one reason people may stay in a cult or MLM for longer - they believe theyve found a circle of true friends who love and care for them. Relationships within a cult may be encouraged, because if you're married to a fellow cultist with 2.5 kids, you're a lot less likely to leave aren't you...
There's also the sunk cost fallacy - once you've sunk time or money into something, your brain will attempt to convince itself that it MUST be worthwhile - because you've put this time and money in.
Ok so tying these three concepts to Jack:
- cognitive dissonance
- fear of losing community
- sunk cost fallacy
I think we can assume the average Jack follower is a centrist, Liberal or leftist, either with some experience of struggling financially themselves, or they have sympathy for those who do.
I'm pretty leftwing, but there are parts of leftwing twitter that absolutely terrify me. Being outspoken about not liking Jack, a neurodivergent lesbian non-binary person, could potentially have you shunned in a community - i know when i went on my old twitter i had like 50 mutuals following her. And if some of these are blue ticks, you might think "all my friends and people i look up to like JM, what's wrong with me?" and try to suppress your unease. You may be accused of being heartless and hating the poor! What if your mutuals unfollow you! What if they say you're ableist/transphobic/sexist/homophobic? (This is giving me horrible tumblr flashbacks)
Alternatively, maybe you've been a jack fan since 2014 and you sank money into her patreon. If you admit that she's lying about some things, you have to admit to yourself that you've been conned. That would make you gullible and wrong, that can't be right, you've defended Jack for years so she MUST be worth it.
Or maybe you do see her tweets about wasting money on a picture frame and her expensive stuff, and then see her claiming poverty, which does cause conflict. You LIKE Jack and you believe her - and she tweeted you once! So your brain is struggling to grapple with all these lies (especially as they come so thick and fast and the deleted tweets make things even more confusing) isn't it a bit of a relief and so much simpler to just believe her? When she gives these nice simple explanations - her partner bought the expensive things, the scarf was gifted, Southend post office tossed my recipe cards into a bottomless abyss to feed the eldritch abomination which lies within etc - it's so much more comfortable to just go along with her
Also......some of them are just mugs and trolls, innit?
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Silver Linings
VIP Member
this is so disingenuous, ffs.
Formal Chicken
Active member
Sadly been admitted to hospital but thank you all for keeping me entertained!
in addition to her many other talents I fear Jackie may also be involved with hospital food. Brown slop for everyone!
in addition to her many other talents I fear Jackie may also be involved with hospital food. Brown slop for everyone!
Attachments
Monochrome Muse
Active member
Fucking yellow sticker pig!!!
On the local FB page a while back someone posted that whilst waiting in the queue to go into the little shop they noticed an elderly lady squinting through the window. They asked if she was OK and she replied that she was waiting to see if they'd reduced the bread yet as she didn't get her pension for a couple of days and had run out and only had pence until then. The person asked her to wait a minute and came out with a couple of bags of fresh bread, butter, milk, eggs, ham etc which the store paid for when they cottoned on to what was happening.
That's poverty you cunt. That's also how you help people in that position, not encouraging them to spill their despair in the hope that you're really gonna help them when you are so fucking not. Cunt.
On the local FB page a while back someone posted that whilst waiting in the queue to go into the little shop they noticed an elderly lady squinting through the window. They asked if she was OK and she replied that she was waiting to see if they'd reduced the bread yet as she didn't get her pension for a couple of days and had run out and only had pence until then. The person asked her to wait a minute and came out with a couple of bags of fresh bread, butter, milk, eggs, ham etc which the store paid for when they cottoned on to what was happening.
That's poverty you cunt. That's also how you help people in that position, not encouraging them to spill their despair in the hope that you're really gonna help them when you are so fucking not. Cunt.
kachoochoo
VIP Member
oh no
Hunty
Chatty Member
OK so I have read all the recaps from where I left off last time, I simply don't have the patience or indeed the energy to Grunka my way all through threads so I'm sad to be missing out on what I'm sure is impeccably hilarious comedic genius from you all... I will bullet point what I have learned, hang onto to your hats 
Jack is still very much an attention seeking chaotic, lying, thundercunt, nothing new there obviously 
@Pocahontas28 is a bloody legend for all the recaps hi estky so greatful for them and you deserve a raise from Vlad, someone get on the blower and sort the bitcoin out
The Frau/cabal are as funny and on the ball as ever, sure these threads are about Jack but you guys MAKE these threads what they are, I've been to other threads for a read, none come anywhere close to this particular side of tattle 
As ever I'm still annoyed that admin still have not implemented new reactions, seriously do I need to call Vlad? What do you need? Costwald furniture? Bitcoin? Name it I'll get you it I just want a damn eyeroll reaction 
I came for Jack, I stay for the Frau
Jack is still very much an attention seeking chaotic, lying, thundercunt, nothing new there obviously @Pocahontas28 is a bloody legend for all the recaps hi estky so greatful for them and you deserve a raise from Vlad, someone get on the blower and sort the bitcoin out The Frau/cabal are as funny and on the ball as ever, sure these threads are about Jack but you guys MAKE these threads what they are, I've been to other threads for a read, none come anywhere close to this particular side of tattle As ever I'm still annoyed that admin still have not implemented new reactions, seriously do I need to call Vlad? What do you need? Costwald furniture? Bitcoin? Name it I'll get you it I just want a damn eyeroll reaction I came for Jack, I stay for the Frau