It's too early for Celebrity Masterchef I'm afraid, the last one only finished two months ago. Masterchef: The Professionals starts airing fairly soon, but I don't think she'd even make the first round and, as she says, she's NOT a chef.
Depends, I don’t think for one moment she would be asked for either I’m a celeb or celeb masterchef as she is not a celeb and she is far too unstable for each.We're going to be disappointed, aren't we?
https://giphy.com/10osILvZ4ez7wsWe're going to be disappointed, aren't we?
And makes terrible slop out of what they sell. They will be watching her SM and if they take her on...nah.That makes sense. But almost too logical and linear for Jack. Buys £20 shop at Asda. Promotes Asda. Does official photoshoot and press for Asda. Nahhhh, way too un-maverick and orderly!
Yes, absolutely xWe're going to be disappointed, aren't we?
It’ll be something pretty boring but I’m sure the way Jack announces it will have us fizzing with excitementWe're going to be disappointed, aren't we?
Talking of dickheads.....Wallace is known to be a wanker.Crikey - imagine the absolute Twatfest!! Having met two of his wives on Twitter, maybe Gregg can give Jack some tips on getting them down the aisle.
or a cook.It's too early for Celebrity Masterchef I'm afraid, the last one only finished two months ago. Masterchef: The Professionals starts airing fairly soon, but I don't think she'd even make the first round and, as she says, she's NOT a chef.
Also, I know we all know who she is, but out there in the real world she is a micro-celebrity at best. I don’t think she’d make the cut given that there are so many reality TV types and Instagrammers who’d be in front of her in the queue.Depends, I don’t think for one moment she would be asked for either I’m a celeb or celeb masterchef as she is not a celeb and she is far too unstable for each.
It blows my mind that that video was only uploaded in February. It feels like an eternity ago (and think of how much content she's provided since!)Please don't make me re-live her singing Landslide
I'm sure it's a yoghurt advert. This is based on nothing but cop instinct and I'm still pages behind. Present-time coven, don't judge me if I'm wrong.I'm going to guess at today's trip being 'Trussell Trust' related..
I'm Grunka-ing but "adenoidal whine in the darkness" has just finished me. Amazing work, Dear Heart! Now get fucked.Day ten in camp.
The celebs had won several tasks thanks to ‘rock hard Eamonn & his nerves of steel’ but were fast becoming despondent at having to survive on Jack’s slop. She would allow nobody else in the camp kitchen.
The camp was fizzing with excitement as the celebs took the thumping big jugs of lemonade, liver sandwiches with lettuce, potted spam & gingerbread cake out of the cupboard along with their bathing things and headed down the cliff-path to the pool, glinting in the moonlight.
‘My mom invented midnight feasts’, droned an adenoidal whine in the darkness.
Stony faced Eamonn longed for a hair brush with which to spank Jack but he knew the inevitable wailing and teeth gnashing would wake either Ant or Dec. ‘Clear off Jack’, he snorted scornfully, ‘or I’ll set my cousin on you’.
The celebs unpacked their midnight feast and started to tuck in. Suddenly a tremendous, anguished death rattle filled the still night and everybody froze. Surely the producers would have heard and their feast would be scuppered? What on earth could it be?
It was, of course, Jack, who had run to catch up after fetching the rancid salad bag pesto from her locker and was now trapped under a rock.
Eamonn shone his torch to see Jack, biting her teething necklace as she tried to wriggle free. ‘It’s my Mediterranean arse’, she panted. ‘I’m stuck fast’.
Footsteps could be heard coming down the path, and in a panic the celebs swept up their crumbs and fled the back way to the tower, leaving Jack pretending to be dying.
‘Get to absolute fuck’, wailed Jack, tweeting the tale to her followers as she brandished her penknife at a horrified and very angry Dec.
The hoofer/warbler/sometime Judge got the Yoghurt gig by sleeping with the Producer. Alledgedly m’lud.I'm sure it's a yoghurt advert. This is based on nothing but cop instinct and I'm still pages behind. Present-time coven, don't judge me if I'm wrong.
Yes, I know a waitress that said he was a real perv & incredibly rude. Jack will hopefully kick shit out of him live on airTalking of dickheads.....Wallace is known to be a wanker.
Just remember that the job Jack is doing is big....HUGE.
I read it back & kicked myself for not doing ‘wobbled through the darkness’I'm Grunka-ing but "adenoidal whine in the darkness" has just finished me. Amazing work, Dear Heart! Now get fucked.
Another catalogue for her to complete. I’d put out a 500-metre wide warning to all her neighbours of a potential sinkhole forming, stat.Uh-oh ..... Autumn Catalogue just dropped in my email. Thought a collaboration was happening when I saw a familiar hand on page 6. Maybe next time.
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