Jack Monroe #81 It’s like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a wife

[byropaw]

Was too slow to reply the the other thread. It closed!
I am currently using a big backpack for work, but I still have my handbag with me, she’s such a muppet or making it up

I know. It would have taken her 4 of the alleged 15 minutes to retrieve *other essential items from handbag*. We know she wouldn't have done it the night before because (insert hilarious parody of her alleged night time lavender whale music routine.)

I'm pretty scatty and know all my workarounds, so I have a Rule of Six for any house departure and I sombrely say: one doesn't change bags without careful thought!

Hey I made a meme describing/for my friend the other day and I'm just randomly placing it here

 

[I steal names]

As much as I'd love it to be I'm a Celeb, I cant see it. There's no way she'd last 5 minutes without exploding in desperation to find out what Twitter thought of her. And she's only very loosely famous for the KH stuff. And they'd probably find out the stuff she'd written about Henry Hoovers and ITV luvvie DW.

When she says it's something HUGE, I'm tempering my excitement a bit...

 

[Candytuft]

Whatever it is, she'll be getting paid for it, a decent sum I assume, seeing as how she's declared the job "huge". So WTF was the £20 food shopping all about? She makes me so angry!

Me too. It’s nice to have lovely things, who doesn’t ? Things that you love, enjoy and yes they might cost money but not necessarily. All the things she has accumulated amount to what I consider a very well off person to have. Especially at her age.
This job will be lucrative, obviously.
The poor tales. Patreon. The rattling tip jar. Also lucrative.
And all the while being a manipulative attention seeker, who can’t cook for poo. She’s bluddy good at it.

 

[I steal names]

PS, @Incywincy on #65! *Kris Jenner "you got this sweetie" gif*

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

As much as I'd love it to be I'm a Celeb, I cant see it. There's no way she'd last 5 minutes without exploding in desperation to find out what Twitter thought of her. And she's only very loosely famous for the KH stuff. And they'd probably find out the stuff she'd written about Henry Hoovers and ITV luvvie DW.

When she says it's something HUGE, I'm tempering my excitement a bit...

When JO says he's doing something HUGE, I immediately think of Government Committees etc.
If she says it, I think she's probably going to do an assembly at her son's school and maybe meet the Lunch Assistants. If they're really unlucky.

 

[Malacandra]

Uh-oh ..... Autumn Catalogue just dropped in my email. Thought a collaboration was happening when I saw a familiar hand on page 6. Maybe next time.

The Cotswold Company Autumn 2020

Joomag digital interactive publication

catalogue.cotswoldco.com

* Aff link etc.

I looked twice at the hand too!
Unlike many of my dear Frauen, I've always been financially comfortable, and my house reflects that. I lived in a 5 bedroom Edwardian semi in London and now inhabit a modern townhouse in the North. I have a small bookcase from the Cotswold Co, purchased maybe 15 years ago. Every room is furnished with a miscellany of sofas, beds, cabinets from companies as diverse as Lombok, M&S, Chinese antiques, Moroccan and Iranian suppliers, BoConcept, Oka, etc plus that fun ethnic furniture shop that went under in the last financial crisis.
I'm not swanking here, but sharing how my 40+ years of marriage have led to us having a home that fits us and our lifestyle. Our dining table is an amazing extendable glass ornament surrounded by peeling leather chairs.

My husband just told me that the company I forgot was The Pier. I spent many magical hours wandering its aisles, buying wall hangings, coasters and other incidental pretties to tie together our home.

 

[Lanie]

It's probably just head shots for her new book. Nothing exciting. It will be in a kitchen well because she sees herself as a cook
They will probably have Boris Johnson and co effigies in the form of wooden spoons in her apron pockets.

Just to add this is my own thoughts. I actually don't have a clue.

 

[NomDeGuerre]

I looked twice at the hand too!
Unlike many of my dear Frauen, I've always been financially comfortable, and my house reflects that. I lived in a 5 bedroom Edwardian semi in London and now inhabit a modern townhouse in the North. I have a small bookcase from the Cotswold Co, purchased maybe 15 years ago. Every room is furnished with a miscellany of sofas, beds, cabinets from companies as diverse as Lombok, M&S, Chinese antiques, Moroccan and Iranian suppliers, BoConcept, Oka, etc plus that fun ethnic furniture shop that went under in the last financial crisis.
I'm not swanking here, but sharing how my 40+ years of marriage have led to us having a home that fits us and our lifestyle. Our dining table is an amazing extendable glass ornament surrounded by peeling leather chairs.

I think there lies the point... Jack is only 32, but has spent more than half a decade in (some form of) the limelight, not to mention time with glamorous, powerful and very wealthy exes like Allegra and Louisa, all of which may have given her the sense she deserves all the trappings of a comfortable middle class life now.

I mean, she's just a bit older than me and I'm still celebrating buying my first Le Creuset sauté pan (not #gifted, as it happens) but owning my own property still feels like lightyears away! These things take time (and a lot of hard work!)

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

She must actually be away from her phone as Daddy Jay has posted and she hasn't slobbered all over him..

 

[Mummatosix]

 

[Alansbigplate]

I looked twice at the hand too!
Unlike many of my dear Frauen, I've always been financially comfortable, and my house reflects that. I lived in a 5 bedroom Edwardian semi in London and now inhabit a modern townhouse in the North. I have a small bookcase from the Cotswold Co, purchased maybe 15 years ago. Every room is furnished with a miscellany of sofas, beds, cabinets from companies as diverse as Lombok, M&S, Chinese antiques, Moroccan and Iranian suppliers, BoConcept, Oka, etc plus that fun ethnic furniture shop that went under in the last financial crisis.
I'm not swanking here, but sharing how my 40+ years of marriage have led to us having a home that fits us and our lifestyle. Our dining table is an amazing extendable glass ornament surrounded by peeling leather chairs.

My husband just told me that the company I forgot was The Pier. I spent many magical hours wandering its aisles, buying wall hangings, coasters and other incidental pretties to tie together our home.

 

[Malacandra]

I think there lies the point... Jack is only 32, but more than half a decade in (some form of) the limelight, not to mention glamorous, powerful and very wealthy exes like Allegra and Louisa may have given her the sense she deserves all the trappings of a comfortable middle class life now.

I mean, she's just a bit older than me and I'm still celebrating buying my first Le Creuset sauté pan (not #gifted, as it happens) but owning my own property still feels like lightyears away! These things take time (and a lot of hard work!)

Thank you. We bought our first excellent set of pans less than 3 years ago. That was a fulfilment of a dream for my husband, and it is truly a great pleasure to see them on the hob!

 

[NellieBoo]

Well, this just isn't cricket, is it?! What's going on? I've bought wine and potato based snacks .

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Are we gonna find out or is whatever this is gonna be kept hush hush? I see she's done her usual "forgot to take my medication! Silly me!" routine as an excuse for why it was tit, whatever it is.

 

[NellieBoo]

As much as I'd love it to be I'm a Celeb, I cant see it. There's no way she'd last 5 minutes without exploding in desperation to find out what Twitter thought of her. And she's only very loosely famous for the KH stuff. And they'd probably find out the stuff she'd written about Henry Hoovers and ITV luvvie DW.

When she says it's something HUGE, I'm tempering my excitement a bit...

Bah. Talking-sense person. Hush now.

 

[YenE]

View attachment 261558View attachment 261558

Sorry to ask but I wasn’t aware she fled a domestic violence situation? I wasn’t aware that that was one of the reason she found herself is dire straits.
Not being mean or doubting her, just genuinely unaware of that part of her life.

 

[Malacandra]

Haha but I hope that you are not mocking me here. I make no apologies for never having financial worries. My children, on the other hand ... Without our assistance our son would be in dire straits. I am well aware that our fortunes may change at any moment. Our daughter's PhD guarantees nothing.

 

[Steerpike88]

Oh god this thread title this must be the best ever, ‘played @TriviaNewtonJohn

Think of all the Cotswold sideboards you can get for £40,000

Yeah a whole three lol.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Well, this just isn't cricket, is it?! What's going on? I've bought wine and potato based snacks .

Well, she did say it's possibly the biggest and best job so far in her very colourful and adventurous (?!) career. There's still hope.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Haha but I hope that you are not mocking me here. I make no apologies for never having financial worries. My children, on the other hand ... Without our assistance our son would be in dire straits. I am well aware that our fortunes may change at any moment. Our daughter's PhD guarantees nothing.

It was a joke about an extending table? Congratulations on your standard of living tho