Jack Monroe #77 Further into the depths of culinary depravity

[Ninch55]

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Surely being one of Jacks closest friends, they know that she has AUTISM - one of the traits of which is lack of empathy

Genuinely sorry to correct you in this but lack of empathy is not an autism trait.People with autism are capable of great empathy , but the feelings can be overwhelming. She’s just a selfish fucker.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Ninch55]

Pee. On. Bad. People. Yes? No? I give up.

Pretty Ordinary Bagel Pap?

 

[busylass]

This is written underneath her Chinese chicken curry recipe. Didn't Jack say on DKL that her dad used shop-bought sauce

The years haven't mellowed her have they.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Scotty1976]

For a “specialist” Furry site?

I want this on a tea towel. Or perhaps a doormat.

A bra like Mackie at times gets on your tits

 

[Silver Linings]

You? Panic people? No!

 

[FrumpyCat]

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Because SB loves bacon. We get it. Jesus bleeping wept, Jack.

Like bollocks they are - ha! Just replied to the wrong pist.

 

[Pocahontas]

I do not believe she is having this dinner right now.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

If I had a chapter - let alone an entire BOOK - due in just over two weeks, and my boss or the publisher got wind that I was a) still doing pretty basic research and b) said research was WIKIPEDIA, I'd be jobless before you could say "plenty of black pepper".

Her work ethic is truly terrible. Shoddy. No wonder she has to use such frilly language laden with metaphor: the content is weak as a (bandy-legged) kitten.

I wish we actually had a budget to commission you to rip the book to utter shreds with your professional academic skillz

Can’t wait for the shoot. Who is it for - Versace? Dior? Gucci? Tiggy + Bo... speaking of which I mentioned that Gucci freaks campaign yesterday, not that she reads here obvs 🥱

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

I see you lot have been edging into my niche again whilst I've been bravely battling the infected hordes singlehanded (well, checking their temperatures, telling them they're fine and sending them back to Maths, at any rate).



All the food is brown (all the food is brown)
And the rat tail's grey (don't believe what I say)
I've been for a walk (have you seen my celery stalks?)
On an Autumn day (Waitrose, so far away)
I'd be safe and warm (I'd be safe and warm)
If you would only pay. (make your pledges today)

Edinburgh dreamin' (Cotswold sideboard dreamin')
On such an Autumn day

Stopped into a church
I passed along the way
Well, they got down on their knees (just use any cheese)
And demanded to pay ('cos they believe what I say)
You know the Preacher makes the sauce (blend it 'til it's slop)
With the spunk from a horse (I'm the 19th most important gay)

Edinburgh dreamin' (Edinburgh dreamin')
On such an Autumn day

 

[MancBee]

ANY job she will throw her cat balaclava into the ring won't she?

Food stylist......well, pick me obviously you've seen my body of work

Photographer.....I've got my own studio. Have you seen Celery, Edinburgh?

TV show.....I've had SO many offers but just waiting for the right thing to come along. I've done presenting courses and everything.

Nobody is going to hire you you self important numpty. They will hire people who have a bunch of experience and talent. Who are you?

Notice you didn't put anything to do with cooking on that list!

 

[Pocahontas]

I wish we actually had a budget to commission you to rip the book to utter shreds with your professional academic skillz

Can’t wait for the shoot. Who is it for - Versace? Dior? Gucci? Tiggy + Bo... speaking of which I mentioned that Gucci freaks campaign yesterday, not that she reads here obvs 🥱

Cotswold Co. finally took her hint and she’s going to be the next cover girl. The only proviso is that she has to upgrade her sports bras.

 

[Bookweevil]

View attachment 253709

Someone photoshop the freezers in, for Christ’s sake!

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Oh dear

Foods to Avoid with Arthritis

• Fried and processed.
• AGEs.
• Sugars and refined carbs.
• Dairy
• Salt and preservatives.
• Corn oil

Largely bollocks. and people punting that out made a significant contribution towards my teenage ED. But basing your meals around utter shite that doesn't even taste nice isn't good for anybody's health.

 

[NellieBoo]

I see you lot have been edging into my niche again whilst I've been bravely battling the infected hordes singlehanded (well, checking their temperatures, telling them they're fine and sending them back to Maths, at any rate).



All the food is brown (all the food is brown)
And the rat tail's grey (don't believe what I say)
I've been for a walk (have you seen my celery stalks?)
On an Autumn day (Waitrose, so far away)
I'd be safe and warm (I'd be safe and warm)
If you would only pay. (make your pledges today)

Edinburgh dreamin' (Cotswold sideboard dreamin')
On such an Autumn day

Stopped into a church
I passed along the way
Well, they got down on their knees (just use any cheese)
And demanded to pay ('cos they believe what I say)
You know the Preacher makes the sauce (blend it 'til it's slop)
With the spunk from a horse (I'm the 19th most important gay)

Edinburgh dreamin' (Edinburgh dreamin')
On such an Autumn day

Ah no. I've only just got rid of the ear worm I gave myself last week with this song .

Thankyou very Matt much Matt.

 

[Scarletfever]

View attachment 253749

Equivalent to 8 ish cans of 28p toms - what does that mean???

ETA never mind got it now

 

[Emmapism]

Notice you didn't put anything to do with cooking or food on that list!

Good lord can you imagine, my day would be lost! And unlike JM I actually get paid to write and never use Wiki as a source

 

[Lanie]

Largely bollocks. and people punting that out made a significant contribution towards my teenage ED. But basing your meals around utter shite that doesn't even taste nice isn't good for anybody's health.

Oh I am sorry. I didn't meant to offend you. It's was not my intention.

 

[NellieBoo]

Equivalent to 8 ish cans of 28p toms - what does that mean???

I think it means one tube of puree is the equivalent to 8 cans of tinned tomatoes if you mix the puree with stock and vinegar.

ETA So 25g puree/350ml of stock + vinegar = 1 400g tin of tomatoes (In Jackamel Land)