Jack the Mink!! Today has been hilarious!
thank you for the welcome. I feel like I’ve found my people.
Congratulations @heretoreaditall2019 - I hope Eddie will be getting his overnight oats after being neglected for most of the day.
Welcome to the Coven - nominated for Best Newcomer Award on the same day as @Veronicaaa is awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award.
.
Yeah I had a moment of weakness yesterday but here she comes again with the bollocks the odious cuntbungleThe last few threads I, sorry - one started to feel sorry for JM? But it wasn’t like, oh I feel sorry for you, it was like - I can’t engage with what an exhausting whirling nightmare teenager with mutinous 2003 emo bad attitude she is, because it was staring to really drain me.
Thankfully you’re all such dear heart, good eggs, one stuck about to be confounded once again, by her absolute antics.
This is what got me too, beautiful work as always @Pocahontas - at least JM now has connects for a ghost writer?" the white sauce thickens " brilliant thread recap as always from @Pocahontas
We’ve all been through it so many times, it’s not even a wobble it second thought, it’s like “ugh just need to not look for a bit,” because she has a spectacular meltdown every dayYeah I had a moment of weakness yesterday but here she comes again with the bollocks the odious cuntbungle
This is a work of art. Matt in the background HOOTINGJust caught up on the past twenty four hours, what a (chemical) rollercoaster. It must have been quite the scene in the crappy bungalow once she realised she'd been rumbled, furiously refreshing on here and her multiple twitter accounts with her Smart Price sausage fingers, going from phone to phone to phone trying to cover her tracks, wailing like a banshee and cursing @Veronicaaa in her adenoidal whine.
I was interested to see she even has another book lined up after this one - that she is definitely writing and will surely materialise on time - which got me thinking about other books she is qualified to write. Anyone else got any suggestions?
View attachment 248850
Yes. Last Sunday I went to Waitrose to pick up bits for dinner (fancy) and the free range meat was something unbelievable like £12 for a pack of chicken so I bought a load of vegetables instead (butchers was closed UGH) and made a big hearty stew. Shall I write an article on it so you peasants can do it too?The sausages thing just shows how out of touch she is. The problem isn't that they contain "bollocks and eyelids", the problem is a) those were not happy pigs and b) they are 68% water and assorted filler.
I buy mostly local produce, largely for political reasons. I'm sure my sausages contain some unappetising parts of the pig. I don't care - I'm a meat eater, it would be hypocritical to kick up a fuss. Plus these sausages are a hell of a lot more than 32% meat, taste great, and are very filling. They don't cost the earth either - and because they are not full of water, they stretch further. Same principle as buying mature cheese rather than mild, as you don't need to use so much.
To then say that any sausage is better than no sausage? No. Hell, my student cookbooks used to advise avoiding the cheapest nastiest meat, and that was over a decade ago. If you genuinely can't afford slightly more expensive sausages (NB Jack, you don't fall into this category), there are lots of cheap alternatives to get protein into your diet.
But she's back to her weird reverse snobbery about being too poor to enjoy fancy ingredients like ethical meat or arborio rice or salt. This phase rolls round a LOT.
Matt in the backgroundJust caught up on the past twenty four hours, what a (chemical) rollercoaster. It must have been quite the scene in the crappy bungalow once she realised she'd been rumbled, furiously refreshing on here and her multiple twitter accounts with her Smart Price sausage fingers, going from phone to phone to phone trying to cover her tracks, wailing like a banshee and cursing @Veronicaaa in her adenoidal whine.
I was interested to see she even has another book lined up after this one - that she is definitely writing and will surely materialise on time - which got me thinking about other books she is qualified to write. Anyone else got any suggestions?
View attachment 248850
early thread title contender right here!Matt in the background
how about ‘Any Sausage Is Better Than No Sausage; a guide to lowering your dating standards’ by Jack Monroe
Waitrose?? Daughter of a literal baron are you?Yes. Last Sunday I went to Waitrose to pick up bits for dinner (fancy) and the free range meat was something unbelievable like £12 for a pack of chicken so I bought a load of vegetables instead (butchers was closed UGH) and made a big hearty stew. Shall I write an article on it so you peasants can do it too?
That photoshop! You have my undying admiration the matt facepalmJust caught up on the past twenty four hours, what a (chemical) rollercoaster. It must have been quite the scene in the crappy bungalow once she realised she'd been rumbled, furiously refreshing on here and her multiple twitter accounts with her Smart Price sausage fingers, going from phone to phone to phone trying to cover her tracks, wailing like a banshee and cursing @Veronicaaa in her adenoidal whine.
I was interested to see she even has another book lined up after this one - that she is definitely writing and will surely materialise on time - which got me thinking about other books she is qualified to write. Anyone else got any suggestions?
View attachment 248850
#76 Jack Monroe’s Minky WailJust caught up on the past twenty four hours, what a (chemical) rollercoaster. It must have been quite the scene in the crappy bungalow once she realised she'd been rumbled, furiously refreshing on here and her multiple twitter accounts with her Smart Price sausage fingers, going from phone to phone to phone trying to cover her tracks, wailing like a banshee and cursing @Veronicaaa in her adenoidal whine.
I was interested to see she even has another book lined up after this one - that she is definitely writing and will surely materialise on time - which got me thinking about other books she is qualified to write. Anyone else got any suggestions?
View attachment 248850
How did I miss Matt?!Just caught up on the past twenty four hours, what a (chemical) rollercoaster. It must have been quite the scene in the crappy bungalow once she realised she'd been rumbled, furiously refreshing on here and her multiple twitter accounts with her Smart Price sausage fingers, going from phone to phone to phone trying to cover her tracks, wailing like a banshee and cursing @Veronicaaa in her adenoidal whine.
I was interested to see she even has another book lined up after this one - that she is definitely writing and will surely materialise on time - which got me thinking about other books she is qualified to write. Anyone else got any suggestions?
View attachment 248850