Jack the Mink!! Today has been hilarious!
Jack Monroe #75 Peekaboo
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The last few threads I, sorry - one started to feel sorry for JM? But it wasn’t like, oh I feel sorry for you, it was like - I can’t engage with what an exhausting whirling nightmare teenager with mutinous 2003 emo bad attitude she is, because it was staring to really drain me.
Thankfully you’re all such dear heart, good eggs, one stuck about to be confounded once again, by her absolute antics.
Thankfully you’re all such dear heart, good eggs, one stuck about to be confounded once again, by her absolute antics.
thank you for the welcome. I feel like I’ve found my people.
the “get to absolute duck” and also “what’s your favourite metal” had me re reading them in hysterics last night.
Yeah I had a moment of weakness yesterday but here she comes again with the bollocks the odious cuntbungle
The sausages thing just shows how out of touch she is. The problem isn't that they contain "bollocks and eyelids", the problem is a) those were not happy pigs and b) they are 68% water and assorted filler.
I buy mostly local produce, largely for political reasons. I'm sure my sausages contain some unappetising parts of the pig. I don't care - I'm a meat eater, it would be hypocritical to kick up a fuss. Plus these sausages are a hell of a lot more than 32% meat, taste great, and are very filling. They don't cost the earth either - and because they are not full of water, they stretch further. Same principle as buying mature cheese rather than mild, as you don't need to use so much.
To then say that any sausage is better than no sausage? No. Hell, my student cookbooks used to advise avoiding the cheapest nastiest meat, and that was over a decade ago. If you genuinely can't afford slightly more expensive sausages (NB Jack, you don't fall into this category), there are lots of cheap alternatives to get protein into your diet.
But she's back to her weird reverse snobbery about being too poor to enjoy fancy ingredients like ethical meat or arborio rice or salt. This phase rolls round a LOT.
I buy mostly local produce, largely for political reasons. I'm sure my sausages contain some unappetising parts of the pig. I don't care - I'm a meat eater, it would be hypocritical to kick up a fuss. Plus these sausages are a hell of a lot more than 32% meat, taste great, and are very filling. They don't cost the earth either - and because they are not full of water, they stretch further. Same principle as buying mature cheese rather than mild, as you don't need to use so much.
To then say that any sausage is better than no sausage? No. Hell, my student cookbooks used to advise avoiding the cheapest nastiest meat, and that was over a decade ago. If you genuinely can't afford slightly more expensive sausages (NB Jack, you don't fall into this category), there are lots of cheap alternatives to get protein into your diet.
But she's back to her weird reverse snobbery about being too poor to enjoy fancy ingredients like ethical meat or arborio rice or salt. This phase rolls round a LOT.
This is what got me too, beautiful work as always @Pocahontas - at least JM now has connects for a ghost writer?
Personal highlight of the thread is @Switchstreetz unveiling that Tattle is the second most searched for term in relation to JM. In fact there’s significantly more interest in here than her actual recipes, when’s the publishing industry gonna get in touch??
We’ve all been through it so many times, it’s not even a wobble it second thought, it’s like “ugh just need to not look for a bit,” because she has a spectacular meltdown every dayYeah I had a moment of weakness yesterday but here she comes again with the bollocks the odious cuntbungle
Just caught up on the past twenty four hours, what a (chemical) rollercoaster. It must have been quite the scene in the crappy bungalow once she realised she'd been rumbled, furiously refreshing on here and her multiple twitter accounts with her Smart Price sausage fingers, going from phone to phone to phone trying to cover her tracks, wailing like a banshee and cursing @Veronicaaa in her adenoidal whine.
I was interested to see she even has another book lined up after this one - that she is definitely writing and will surely materialise on time - which got me thinking about other books she is qualified to write. Anyone else got any suggestions?
I was interested to see she even has another book lined up after this one - that she is definitely writing and will surely materialise on time - which got me thinking about other books she is qualified to write. Anyone else got any suggestions?
'I am a musician campaigner, writer, cook, sober, supermom of furry children, designer, photographer, fireperson... and the monkey minkey is a businessman callous troll. He doesn't tell me what to play say, and I don't tell him what to do with his my money.'
Running with this (and bastardising one of the longrunning gags in the series)
JM #76: Eez that your Minkey?
Running with this (and bastardising one of the longrunning gags in the series)
JM #76: Eez that your Minkey?
ooooh and shout out to the wonderful lurkers who’ve come out and joined us in the least thread! 
More newbies please, there’s enough chaos for us all to have something to say isn’t there
More newbies please, there’s enough chaos for us all to have something to say isn’t there 
This is a work of art. Matt in the background
HOOTING
Yes. Last Sunday I went to Waitrose to pick up bits for dinner (fancy) and the free range meat was something unbelievable like £12 for a pack of chicken so I bought a load of vegetables instead (butchers was closed UGH) and made a big hearty stew. Shall I write an article on it so you peasants can do it too?
Matt in the backgroundhow about ‘Any Sausage Is Better Than No Sausage; a Guide to Lowering Your Dating Standards’ by Jack Monroe
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early thread title contender right here!
how about ‘Any Sausage Is Better Than No Sausage; a guide to lowering your dating standards’ by Jack Monroe
In tescos you can buy like 8 decent sausages for about 2 pounds offer. I know to some 2 pounds is alot but I honestly don't think it would upset her bank too much. Plus if it's just for her kid That's four meals worth of sausages at two a meal if she bills it out with something else. You know a filled Yorkshire pudding, cheap and easy to make, small sausage caserole ( again same) sausage egg and chips using POTATOES rather an precut or oven. And again using the cheap smash or a couple of spuds from the spud bag a decent portion of mash. These are just a few meals simple, unassuming and filling for her kid using better quality slightly less quantity sausages. She could even peel them remove the meat and make homemade sausage rolls.
Waitrose?? Daughter of a literal baron are you?
Hearty stew? What's wrong with risotto made from salmon paste mixed with rinsed spaghetti hoops?
That photoshop! You have my undying admiration
the matt facepalm I think she could try her hand in the fantasy genre since shespins a cracking tale
"The lying, the mink, and the sideboard"
#76 Jack Monroe’s Minky Wail
Has the Bad Food for Good Days / Matt Haig endorsement gone from her Twitter cover photo thingy?
Edit: Nope, it was just my phone being a twit
Edit: Nope, it was just my phone being a twit
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