Jack Monroe #75 Peekaboo

[Cascara]

I adore Eau de Nil, and duck egg blue. They are absolutely not the same, but nor would I describe that Fortnums colour as either. True Eau de Nil is a gloriously deep sludgy green. Duck egg is bluer, but again can range through pale translucent blue (that I’d say should be more rightly called robin’s egg blue) to a deep turquoise. Fortnum’s is somewhere in between, if we’re talking Eau de Nil or duck egg, then it’s neither fish nor fowl nor good red herring! If I had to pick, I’d put the Fortnum’s colour closer to duck egg. And Jack Monroe is a show off Fanny.

 

[KebabGirl]

Hello, another newish member / lurker!
I've followed JM on and off for years, in theory I like the concept but the execution of her brand is just wrong.

Found Tattle a few weeks back after some ridiculous Twitter post and been reading through these threads - it's all the things I had been thinking, but thought I was just not giving her a chance. Was delighted to find this, it's been a pleasure catching up with it all!

 

[PoorPatrol]

It was already shit. Adding chard makes it really shit.

Apart from that, there’s about half a stalk of chard cut up in that, between two. How is she using her measurements of the five a day? Is she measuring in the same way she measured space and time? Living with Jack must be like that film Inception

 

[LavaFlake]

One good thing to take from this. She's spelling thank you as two seperate words. A little victory I guess.

 

[crystaleyesd]

She's suggesting she's going to start a 'frugal cookalong' (or as she calls it 'a frugalong' ). PLEASE JACK, WE BEG OF YOU, WE NEED NEW VIDEO CONTENT.

I think the only thing for this horrible canal of mavens is to one up her with a FRAUGALONG. Our food would be a million times better, and our viewing figures would be too

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

I was reading this to my child last night and couldn't stop laughing at this page. Luckily this book usually makes us laugh anyway.

 

[Montrachet]

I can’t find thread #31.

It is between #30 and #32.

 

[BlendedSlop]

It's suddenly just hit me that her all-American, wholesome MOM phase ended as quickly as it started, and now it's like it never happened. I genuinely can't keep up with her.

 

[instacharlie]

Please, please don't give her ideas . I couldn't bear it if she sullied 'Empty Chairs and Empty Tables' .

You've just given her the name of her future restaurant!

Empty Chairs and Empty Tables.

I can see it now, a huge sign elaborately painted in eau de nil. All the tables and chairs are from The Cotswold Company. The walls are floor to ceiling bookcases, filled with books by David Walliams. The waiting area even has and extreme hammock to chill out on, as well as a water rower, in case you want a quick workout before your meal.
Of course, it's empty though. Mainly because people who go out for dinner actually like food. How it looks, how it tastes, and where it comes from. The eyelids and arseholes section of the menu was never going to work.

 

[Harrybosch]

I know it's the least of her crimes, but the comment about the sausages imparting flavour bothers me so much. Anyone with food knowledge knows that flavour comes from fat and seasonings. We know she has herbs and spices aplenty. Get yourself some olive oil or rapeseed oil and you can give any dish decent flavour. For a casserole, saute onions, celery and carrots slowly in a bit of oil, add spices and cook a little longer to draw out their flavour, then add liquid, veg and beans/lentils if you are so inclined. Cook. Job done. Why am I typing this? You all know and she knows jack shit.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Is anyone else having another one of those days where they’re getting a LOT of notifications from liked posts across the JM threads?

In the words of @MancBee / haunted horror movie children... they walk amongst us, our silent ever watching fraus x

 

[Switchstreetz]

Just caught up on the past twenty four hours, what a (chemical) rollercoaster. It must have been quite the scene in the shitty bungalow once she realised she'd been rumbled, furiously refreshing on here and her multiple twitter accounts with her Smart Price sausage fingers, going from phone to phone to phone trying to cover her tracks, wailing like a banshee and cursing @Veronicaaa in her adenoidal whine.

I was interested to see she even has another book lined up after this one - that she is definitely writing and will surely materialise on time - which got me thinking about other books she is qualified to write. Anyone else got any suggestions?

View attachment 248850

That photoshop! You have my undying admiration the matt facepalm

I think she could try her hand in the fantasy genre since shespins a cracking tale

"The lying, the mink, and the sideboard"

 

[Emmapism]

The white sauce thickens

 

[Alansbigplate]

Some more top #31 burns

 

[Silver Linings]

Too sleepy to feel guilty about the screenshots. Too hypocritical and funny not to share. Didn’t we say back in the tirade against DW that she was conspicuously keeping away from the JKR hullabaloo. Well well.

 

[HarderFaster]

Of all the hills to die on, voice of the oppressed Jack Monroe chooses... fury over someone not recognising the exact shade of blue that Fortnum & Mason use.

How did the poor and marginalised ever do without such advocacy?

 

[GrunkaLunka]

Fuck sake Jack, it's a fiction book not a fucking paint chart. Jeeeeesus.

 

[virtualorigami]

lurker here i have been reading these threads daily since sometime in the 40s (not 1940s, feels like it sometimes though!)

i already lurked tattle and clicked on a JM thread out of interest and was immediately hooked haha. i tried to grunka all the way but I’M BUSY so even though it was a valiant attempt i only managed #1,2, all the DKL ones, and #31 before i had to admit defeat and follow along in real time.

just popping my head up since lurkers were summoned it’s very funny in here, i have a lot of laughs even though i’m just lurking

 

[Harrybosch]

Apologies if that was how it came across. I'm a born-and-bread omnivore that looks for max flavour for my £. Following the 90% vegan logic I figured what 10% would/could I squeeze the benefit out of? For me that would be the fat portion. I'm totally open to fully plant-based alternatives, but not from a 90%-er

Hi there! There are quite a number of vegans on this thread (me included) and most of us find it pretty offensive that she calls herself 90% vegan. The reason for that is that 90% vegan doesn't exist. Veganism is an ethical position and whilst no one is perfect and virtually every longterm vegan has at one point or another accidentally consumed animals, vegans do not describe themselves in terms of HOW vegan they are. It's like saying I'm 50% pacifist and the rest of the time I enjoy going to war. It just makes no sense.
Of course jackie isn't even close to eating a 90% plant-based diet, given her live for butter in tea, mayo in everything and wet ham. Even her sausages are only 68% vegan

 

[Veronicaaa]

She's lost about 100 followers in the past 3 hours alone. Keep tweetin', Jack