Jack Monroe #75 Peekaboo

[Captainmouse]

Would you tell anyone you failed to make a sandwich in a shed and the only people watching were Fraus?

am I an or a ? I am gonna need oxygen at this rate
(if anybody can suggest a better bath bomb)

 

[ChickenPorridge]

That was my thread title!! I am ridiculously pleased by this comment.

Ha!! Excellent work dear heart, I hooted and tooted. Back when I was only a Tattle lurker!

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

Tell that Victorian ghost to get to absolute fuck

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no you did not

 

[kachoochoo]

What did the Czech tweets say? Was it a bot?

apparently it means "are you ok"

maybe it was meant to be a reply, but it's just so weird!

 

[ShowMeYourFeline]

The whole anti lockdown confuses me. Doesn't she claim that the Tories are money grabbers, yet they want to keep locking us down making the economy they need to stay rich go bust... Doesn't make sense to me. They hate it just as much as we do as many of them have businesses

Deliberately destroying the economy benefits the rich, as when it crashes, they can buy up everything for cheap.

Another side of the same coin, if they know they are going to cause a hyperinflation, they can buy up sticks and shares before it happens, then sell them.

 

[Oofadoofa]

Am actually listening to that improving lives podcast ( I know, I know..) but it's fascinating! She nearly, nearly tripped herself up in trying to explain the shock of using food banks she had to stop herself mid-sentence,''My parents friends couldn't really understand how I could have ended up in the situation where I was in poverty, because I came from..i...uh..uh... My parents were still married to each other.'' She was just about to say she was affluent, but stopped herself at the last second when she remembered the narrative! What a tool.

She is *such* a liar. Never ceases to amaze.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Do you work with me? This is one of the delightful perks of my job. It's a perk, because if I have one of those presented, it means there isn't a slightly hysterical teacher in a classroom somewhere across the site and I can simply mask and glove up and then get on with making the phone call home.



Well, apart from today. After all my nagging children for not eating breakfast and then complaining of feeling ill, I got caught at lunchtime today. Mr D made my packed lunch, I grabbed it at 6.15am without checking it, only to find that he'd carefully chopped up celery and cucumber sticks, added some wild rocket - and forgotten to put in anything else. On my 18th trip across the site to check a register was done, my legs buckled under me and it took at least ten minutes for anybody to notice. I got practically force fed a school sandwich and a flapjack and felt fine about half an hour later.


I went straight to the Coop when I got off the bus this evening. I now have eggs, reduced steak, prawns, salmon, vegetables, mayonnaise, sriracha and chocolate soya milk cartons. I am making my own lunch from now on. There's rice, potatoes, noodles, seasonings, sauces, herbs and pasta in the cupboard. Between you and me, he's bloody shit at making a balanced meal because of his fucking eating disorder that he won't admit he has, hence his insistence upon doing the cooking and my lunches. And I've had enough of it. Nobody wants to be the fat bird collapsing from lack of food in public. Especially when you then get the caring, supportive lectures from slim people telling me how to diet without doing myself a mischief. It's fucking embarrassing.


Which is why any old shit like that ASDA crap really pisses me off - I spent twenty quid and there is enough to feed me well for about a fortnight with help from the Miele freezer.



Anyhow. Off I grunk. Bisy. Bak son.

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Sounds like you need a ruddy big hug

 

[kachoochoo]

She really angered me yesterday with her pretending to be poor asda shop.

Today ahe has angered me with her kombucha that tastes (fuck all) like whisky.

Someone in her tweet replies actually linked a small scottish kombucha company, which she completely ignored (as far as I could see). A retweet or a signal boost from someone like JM could really help that company.

If it isn't directly benefitting her she could not give a damn. God forbid she'd boost someone else's business or help someone out when she can leverage her social media following to put herself forward for work she has no experience of, and nothing to offer.

so, she'll ignore a small co but if it's "celebs" she's all

 

[Blurp]

I fucking hate the way she uses the word “scampering “. Makes me cringe.

The only time I use the word legitimately is to describe the way my fluff ball Grace runs - front legs up in the air together and off she goes. None of the other dogs do this but somehow the word suits her. Jock Aye The Noo, not so much.

 

[Alansbigplate]

The black eye too
(Im catching up. 20 pages. Whats this eejit been up to now!)

Did you know it was a sausage because I feel like maybe that part didn’t translate? Although having seen SB’s tea it is actually quite true to life

 

[Atisketatasket]

It really doesn't

Oh shit I thought you'd said why does everything HAVE to have 16 ingredients.. JFC

 

[Froggies]

She bought a £1 bag of 20 frozen arseholes I mean sausages.

That explains it then
I missed they were frozen as all I could focus on in the photo was the lard.

 

[Themaninblack]

[QUOTE="Harrybosch, post: 2432599, member: 716
Now fuck off, with all your logic and reason before I get peripatetic on yo ass.
[/QUOTE]

FTFY

 

[Tabitha D]

As I'm hippity hoppiting through this thread I would like to point out that adding stuffing mix to the casserole will make it go slimy

Yum yum

I do believe that was exactly the effect she was going for. The evidence speaks for itself.

 

[I’MBUSY!]

Ooooooh, Columbo! Very good!

We shall watch and wait and see if she corrects herself after she’s read your post.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Spencer Matthews dearie me, there are no depths to which she will not sink are there.

He’s all over insta selling it to the young uns. Have a feeling it’s low alcohol not AF too

 

[Ninch55]

Starting to get seriously worried by these hidden messages now. Will our coven need to lawyer up?

Also hello to any fraus who are also awake at this time

Don’t be worried - that’s what she wants.

 

[I steal names]

She’s even drinking it in her favourite whisky glass. I don’t want to offend or trigger anyone but surely that’s not a great idea? So so sorry if i’m out of line.

I think you're fine, I'd have wondered the same.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Reminds me of a brilliant Royle Family quote about earholes, eyeholes and arseholes. She's unintentional comedy gold if you overlook the sneaky, cold and batshit parts of her persona

 

[Captainmouse]

Come now. Bollock Sausages impart a wonderful flavour.