Of course the mirror has fucking WiFi
Of course the mirror has fucking WiFiHer latest pic of Cooper shows one of those tri-fold makeup mirrors - perfect for creating the most REALISTIC bruises and for staring at your sad little narc face in proper HD for hours on end. I'm not going to post the s/s but don't care if someone else does!
Anyway, pretty sure I triangulated it. You can get one of these mirrors for twenty quid on Amazon. Jack's, of course, costs £300. ADD IT TO THE LIST @HarderFaster!
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Off topic but I do the same thing with a bit of banana to get my bun to take her worming stuffSeriously, I wouldn't give a dog those sausages, let alone a child. I'm a veggie but I buy sausages on a regular basis for my old disabled dog who has daily medication - get a knife and cut out a cone from a chunk of cold cooked sausage, insert metacam, replace cone, hand to dog, and it doesn't touch the sides.
Omg congrats on your pregnancy how lovely!! Feel free to come over to our food & drink thread to chat, no grunka-ing necessary, it’s the virtual version of the court waiting roomDearest Frauen,
I am mainly a lurker, I initially discovered this wonderful site when I saw Aliceinwanderlust in the news and could not wait to find out all the goss with the SODs! It was eye opening to say the least! Then when those dorks decided to pipe down I saw that the Jack Monroe thread was LIT so I started to follow at thread 29. I have spent the latter part of my pregnancy with you legends laughing (and crying) along with the top notch banter.
It has been especially lovely to hear of other Fraus giving birth along the way. @heretoreaditall2019 special thanks to you for sharing your journey you have no idea how much you have put my mind at rest, and a big congrats on your lovely bundle!
I’ve been following the threads in real time whilst trying to Grunka through 1-28, I’m currently on #11 and it’s so exciting, Jack has made the shed but Hellman’s has not been announced yet and I can’t wait to read your reactions when it is.
As many others have noted, you guys are unreal! The level of knowledge, compassion, empathy and insane humour has distracted me so well from a stressful time and I thank you all so so much.
Yesterday was TOPS, @Veronicaaa your skill set is next level, Jessica Fletcher has nothing on you.
This Jack is the WORST C*NT as we say in Scotland (Shout out to the Scottish Frauen - love ya) she really grinds my gears with her lies and for taking advantage of her somewhat vulnerable followers. I’ve never come across a human as up her own ass as she is.
Thanks again for everything and keep up the amazing work. This should DEFO get published in a book!
Now fuck off x
Edited to fix @heartoreaditall2019’s handle x
WTAF? £300 surround-sound mirror????Her latest pic of Cooper shows one of those tri-fold makeup mirrors - perfect for creating the most REALISTIC bruises and for staring at your sad little narc face in proper HD for hours on end. I'm not going to post the s/s but don't care if someone else does!
Anyway, pretty sure I triangulated it. You can get one of these mirrors for twenty quid on Amazon. Jack's, of course, costs £300. ADD IT TO THE LIST @HarderFaster!
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Those fake Jack profiles?Of course the mirror has fucking WiFi
‘More ailments than a hospital piss pot’Good Morning.. Un-lurking and outing myself.
I found you all after googling, 'Jack Monroe fake black eye' because the moment I saw that my, 'get ta fuck!' gene kicked in.
It had been flickering for a while. Little inconsistencies I'd been ignoring but not forgetting.
But the black eye lit it up.
It bothered me so much that I screenshot the photo and sent it to my sister, the absolute Queen of make-up and my niece who works in A&E.
The sister responded with, "That's the Bobby Brown palette by Estée Lauder.." and the niece replied, "Classic ACOPIA.."
We discussed her other medical issues and came up with the highly scientific diagnosis of, "More ailments than a hospital piss pot and Fybro-LIE-algia.."
Anyway, I'll slink back off into Lurk-dom, but thanks for being here Fraus. Now, get absolutely fucked. xx
Wow, that is one FANCY 'modern essential'!Her latest pic of Cooper shows one of those tri-fold makeup mirrors - perfect for creating the most REALISTIC bruises and for staring at your sad little narc face in proper HD for hours on end. I'm not going to post the s/s but don't care if someone else does!
Anyway, pretty sure I triangulated it. You can get one of these mirrors for twenty quid on Amazon. Jack's, of course, costs £300. ADD IT TO THE LIST @HarderFaster!
View attachment 249288
I just got an advert for finest German Sausages
It took me a minute to think about why a mirror would have wifi...Of course the mirror has fucking WiFi
Mirror, mirror, on the wall,Those fake Jack profiles?
It's...the mirror's account!
This is a perfect comment. Thankyou xMirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who’s the biggest lying, faking, pretend poor, purveyor of absolute shit food, and manipulator of all?
Why, it’s you, dear heart. Now fuck off.
This may come as a shock, but my mirror lasts for much more than three weeks without being charged. Because you can't fucking charge it. As it's a mirror.
Hehehe. This morning, I got one for something called the "University of Law". Which I've taken to mean as Vlad suggesting I start researching our defence.I just got an advert for finest German Sausages
apparently it means "are you ok"What did the Czech tweets say? Was it a bot?
As do I, Frau. As do IShe wants a lockdown so she can spend time with Matts forearms again.
The hammock was a GIFT, ok? From Tracey Emin's hairdresser. And the mirror is a business expense, because she's IN THE PUBLIC EYE and needs it. And how dare you suggest that the average single mum on benefits doesn't deserve or indeed already own a giant luxury hammock which can be hung in her rambling garden? Classist!No 11+ tutor and 32% bollock sausages for SB, but a £400 hammock and a £300 mirror for Jack. They're the true essentials, after all.
Maybe this is what she means when she describes herself as unmaternal. Completely and utterly focused on her own possessions, which she considers SB one of.
Why buy mince when you can grate a tin of corned beefI'm awake, but I live upside down to most of you
Ugh, why brag about feeding your child that nasty crap? Why does she never buy mince, it's super cheap (even decent stuff) and you can do a bajillion and one things with it? You can stretch the life out of it with veggies and pulses to make it even cheaper and more nutritious, much healthier for a growing lad. Why buy packet mixes after bragging about owning every single spice in the entire world? So many questions, so much bollocks!
oh my god I was trying to work out why on earth a mirror would need wifi, thanks for that! Is it just me who kind of wants one of these now, but also cringes at the thought of all the awful makeup application videos and photos that would occurIt took me a minute to think about why a mirror would have wifi...
Of course she needs wifi! What kind of peasant would apply make up (especially to the eye...) get out a phone, take picture, filter it and press send?
Only really poor people who aren't at all narcissistic, have a mirror that does all that for them....
Fuck sake.
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