Jack Monroe #75 Peekaboo

[Harrybosch]

Frau’s I don’t have a child so please do tell me if I’m talking out of my (Mediterranean) arse.. but I would sell a sideboard to feed my child quality food

You are clearly a fool. What do you think a child can give you that a 93kg sideboard can't? Priorities, Frau! The cabal is disappointed and might revoke membership.

Also, dear @Pocahontas, many have already said it but your recaps are wonderful and in this one you've reached new heights. I trust you've already been commissioned for recap 75 and 76. X

 

[EddieBeds]

What a day. I’ve hooted out loud many a time while catching up with the last thread. Only darling Jack would have such an obvious alt account .

But what I don’t understand in amongst JMs cosplaying at being poor is her constant assumption that all low income families don’t know how to cook or want to eat shit food (as in her weird concoctions). It’s the old assumption that income/wealth equals intelligence when we all know that’s not true. Also presumptuous on her part to think low income families don’t have the skills to cook/stretch out food when it’s a daily reality.

I’m sure there are some who would appreciate some education/guidance around food but she’s hardly providing any is she, other than ‘blitz it all in a nutribullet’? She’s not offering anything practical to help people day to day.

Also why is she bragging about feeding her child that food when for many people it’s their reality? They don’t have a choice and are trying their best with what they have. They don’t get to play pretend for a week before booking their M&S Ocado shopping.

Appreciate this isn’t adding anything new to what others have already said but it just doesn’t sit right. It’s like some weird white saviour thing in another guise.

 

[Scarletfever]

It's fucking exhausting following her on twitter. I can't imagine what it is like knowing her in real life.

Feel sorry for the poor sod earlier who said "welcome back" and got short shrift as she "wasn't back", before proceeding to tweet continuously for hours including uploading photos of asda shelves and receipts.

 

[Debarkle]

For the last 19 months, she’s only been paying one water supplier instead of two and is phoning them up tomorrow so expect a fall out from that.

Clear as mud. Not misleading at alllll

ETA her follow up comment. Looool. We have two incomes and still don’t shop at Harrods for mirrors.

 

[Toffee finger]

Finally caught up.

Hello new people and long time lurkers

Tampons in a pineapple

I think the lovely @heretoreaditall2019 said it before but it’s a weird feeling when she replies to us on Twitter

 

[Universal]

I'm mostly a silent comrade but have posted in the past. Unfortunately I've been BUSY. But back to tell the fraus I love their work.
Now fuck off!

 

[Oofadoofa]

I’m reading the JM tweets (I have a rule etc..) and everyone’s been focused on the rank hypocrisy bit, nobody seems to have noticed that one of the biggest twats in the world doesn’t know what autism is.



This comment was brought to you by objectivity, and an obsession with telling the truth. It’s being an arsehole, not autism, and calling it autism whenever you fancy doing something unpleasant doesn’t make it true.



A bit like saying middle class is working class a zillion times doesn’t make it true either.



Good morning.



And before the usual threats of legal action are made, I’m not starting a fight, a pile on, or bullying a woman who is much more aggressive than me, she chooses to read tattle anyway. I haven’t engaged with her, this is a sarcastic take on her own lack of self awareness, her double standards and hypocrisy. Thank you, good morning.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

She obviously made herself known to L and a few other of her regular tweeters judging by their responses to the peeky mink account. How addicted do you have to be to Twitter to do this? And for what? Can't just text them? All the while her lowly followers are all wondering where the feck she's gone. Absolute mooncat

 

[Emlo]

Not sure how an accidental for sale sign is so traumatic but that shop isn’t.

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

Ooh. Love the intrigue that comes with these threads. What did the replies say?

<Alison Steadman's "It's all the drama, Mick. I just love it!">

Plus several more along the same lines before she deleted

 

[crystaleyesd]

So are we aware of this twitter account?! Followed by L. Currently open. And is the most recent photo not the one JM was asking followers to send to her of Cooper 'crashing' DKL? She should have just ask the cat....unless he was too busy with his ouchy nose

Wasn't she asking her beloved sycophants to send her pics of the time Cooper 'crashed' (like it wasn't staged ) the DKL set cos she'd lost them all? This is obviously her account so why lie about not having pics? Oh wait...for ATTENTION.

Oops, just realised you literally said this in the rest of the message. Oh dearie me, I think I need one of JM's patented dinosaur naps

 

[Veronicaaa]

Wonder how Natalia's coping with all of Jack's fan mail

 

[Breakdance Badass]

Dear Frauen

This is not the first time that perhaps Jackie has been found out to be masquerading as someone else on Twitter, you may remember back on thread #51 there were discoveries, as recapped here by the wonderful @Pocahontas . Remember “Chas” was following quite a few suspected Tattlers and discovered by our old planetary friend 🪐

 

[Apricotarm]

Spoiler: Warning - !970s innuendo-laden post

Congratulations @heretoreaditall2019 - I hope Eddie will be getting his overnight oats after being neglected for most of the day.




Welcome to the Coven - nominated for Best Newcomer Award on the same day as @Veronicaaa is awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award.
.

thank you for the welcome. I feel like I’ve found my people.

the “get to absolute fuck” and also “what’s your favourite metal” had me re reading them in hysterics last night.

 

[HarderFaster]

Her latest pic of Cooper shows one of those tri-fold makeup mirrors - perfect for creating the most REALISTIC bruises and for staring at your sad little narc face in proper HD for hours on end. I'm not going to post the s/s but don't care if someone else does!

Anyway, pretty sure I triangulated it. You can get one of these mirrors for twenty quid on Amazon. Jack's, of course, costs £300. ADD IT TO THE LIST @HarderFaster!

View attachment 249288

Fuck meeeeeeee. I wish I was as poor as Jack.

It's going on the list, fear not...

 

[bananasplit88]

Pocahontas, dear heart - at the risk of sounding like a sycophantic jackolyte - your thread recaps are genuinely a treat and you are a wonderful human being.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Genius idea summoning our quiet fraus, SO many of those liked accounts have 0 messages! I’m pages behind so not sure if anyone has come out but pls do, we’ll need all the coven we can get the next full moon

My clipboard is ready!

The cabal is very welcoming. The more the merrier.

Reveal thy selves xxxxx

 

[Silver Linings]

Just deleted.

 

[Oofadoofa]

View attachment 249837

Why does she hate food so much?

The funny is that she has had to go back to ‘cooking on a bootstrap’, essentially throwing random ingredients into a pot and cooking it until it’s all the same colour, because anything more complicated is just beyond her.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Apparently Louisa paid for all that Cotswolds furniture

*sure Jan gif*

So she's using her twitter to reply to us? Weren't the sideboards (and the smeg) post-split anyway? Why doesn't Louisa come and get her furniture?