Jack Monroe #73 If your attitude is off-kilter, try a cartoon filter

[Melmoo]

This reminded me of someone I’m close to who generally glides through life with everything working out well for her. Property owner in her early 20’s, Minimal qualifications but snagged a decently paid job, big wedding, then a baby. She cryptically put on Facebook last year that the year has been the “highest of highs and the lowest of lows” the highs being when she got married and the lowest of lows being when she handed her notice in at her work and briefly did a job she didn’t like before getting a new job she did like.
ugh these people have no idea about genuine hardship.

Its absolutely crazy isn't it. Cant by the house she 'wants' so doesn't buy a house she needs. Oh fuck off my heart bleeds.

I just thought I would share a little story of happiness today that may assist Jack to put into perspective. 12 months ago with holes in our sofa (given to us) , springs all gone and basically collapsed to the point you cant really get comfy on it and we wont sit on it longer than an hour or so cause the pain in your back ! Looked for sofas.. saw one I want in sofology its my dream sofa its 5k hahaha I will buy it when I win the lottery. We have saved for 12 months 50 quid a month and today my sofa that cost 995.00 was delivered. You know what I am so lucky to have that sofa and to have been able to save 90 a month to get it and have worked hard to get it. Life owes you nothing and if you need something save for it and get what you can afford. Life lesson over Jack Monroe, if your sick of being transient buy a little two up two down terrace or small flat like anyone getting on the property ladder would do if they had any sense.

Also if you had no money to buy a house why would you employ a p.a so you can fuck round on social media all day. you wouldn't would you ? you would do your own admin. she must think we are all fuckwits like her ! Im on one today haha also maybe she could ask David Walliams for some money to lend her to buy the house ??

 

[crystaleyesd]

I wonder if Jack could give me some parenting tips, while her sweet Victorian child is being tucked into bed at 7.30pm sweetly saying ‘found you mama’, my 10 year old is currently at the park with her friends texting me this (I’m not a bloody boomer I’m a millennial thanks v much )

Not to HOOT at your misfortune, dear heart, but 'ok boomer' is the single greatest insult to come out of the last 10 years (close second is Karen). It does so much with so little - the gammons (also *chefs kiss*) go APOPLECTIC with rage. Serves em right for 'snowflake' tbh.

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

I am going to start by saying excuse my ignorance, and I’m probably going to appear like a cold hearted cow right now.

But I don’t get why a for sale sign being wrongly placed in her garden is such a huge issue that’s so bad even her son would collapse howling into the ground?
This is the ten year old son, who is a Victorian child and is wistfully asleep at 7.30pm looking for his mama - surely he’d be oblivious to all the upheaval of moving house.

Also, the fact Jack has had to move 5438 times is down to JACK. She has earned more than enough to have a healthy deposit and there will be banks out there that look at her and see a C-list celeb with work coming in (in the past) and would lend because of who she is. It’s all excuses. Jack wants everything handed to her hence the whole fundraiser for a house.

The whole set of tweets about how upset she was was disgusting. People are dying, people haven’t seen their families for months now and people are scared to go out incase they catch COVID and pass it on to their loved ones. Jack’s biggest issue is a misplaced for sale sign. The lack of understanding of our current climate is insane, she can’t read a room or judge, and is so unaware of how she’s coming across. I hate her. She’s vile and crass and should be banned from Twitter, up there with KH right now.

 

[HarderFaster]

Sorry to be some kind of double-posting egomaniac but @crystaleyesd reminded me of the post where I very conservatively worked out that Jackie has spent £9000 in a year on tech, travel, furniture, ugly clothes and vet bills so just re-sharing for new joiners - https://tattle.life/threads/jack-mo...er-than-outrage-and-vitriol.8474/post-2180378

She needs to be called out for this crowdfunding a house nonsense. It's distasteful.

 

[kachoochoo]

Feeling a bit uncomfortable with people who are most likely paid up members of the cabal taking to Twitter. It just makes us look like trolls. She’s doing a decent enough job of making herself look like an absolute twat on twitter without any of us turning up (which actually has the opposite effect of feeding into her narrative that she’s being constantly trolled).

View attachment 246274

one of these squiggles is a retired public sector worker and is followed by eamonn holmes... sounds familiar, doesn't it?

 

[kachoochoo]

oh fuck off

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Cabal I am going to be Grunkaing for while as my Granma has come to stay with us for the next few weeks. She has had heart trouble and a fall which ended in a hospital stay and because she lives alone in Sweden no less (we are based in Scotland) I felt it was about time she got a proper spoiling, so we flew her over. It's been lovely to see her again especially since our last visit was for my grandpa's funeral and she has met my daughter at last so its extra specia. My daughter can't travel yet as she has a serious lung condition and Covid has made things extra difficult.

Enough about me though or you will think I am Jack. This is probably going to be unpopular but I think Jack is a bit of a shit mum. I do have what I think are good reasons. Starting with all the sensitive info and pics of him she posted tonight. Also the tweets about his mental health. Using him to sell herself. Discussing him as though he was to blame for her career ending. Deliberately not telling the father she was pregnant. All the failed relationships, house moves, pets,the kitten, going to Edinburgh without him. Spark out on the sofa and making him check she is breathing. Not caring that her antics might lead to his being bullied.

I know no one is perfect, I think most parents myself included would be the first to admit that but a lot of what she has done could have been avoided or handled better. I do think she will lose him one day. The alternate smothering with love versus the resentment at being a mum will confuse him. It might lead him to googling her though I hope not. Unfortunately Jack always comes first when it should really be him.

 

[MooBelle]

remember to keep it till it's good and soggy for pesto!

Ok, confession time...
When I was still a scmuck and believed the lies, I actually made the manky salad pesto thingy.
I know, I'm sorry.
I made it and showed it to my husband and offspring because it looked awful.
They all started heaving and told me it smelled like a pond.
Thank goodness i chucked it out. If we'd ate it we'd probably be dead from Listeria or botulism.

 

[crystaleyesd]

I'm pondering over the sawing of the sign for no real reason at all .

Surely if it was hammered into the ground it would have been easier to 'rock' it out ? Like the estate agent handy person would do normally. Waving a saw around, kamikaze style, seems ever so slightly dramatic.

You're overthinking it, dear heart. With Jack, you usually just need to ask one simple question:

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Hi everyone, sorry I haven’t read all the posts. I’m around the same age as Jack and she has baffled me since I first heard about her years ago. I haven’t followed her super closely so I could be wrong about some things

I’d heard about her blog and thought it was great, the whole single mum budget cooking. I found it really useful.

I was a similar age to Jack like I mentioned and I grew up in relative hardship. We moved house a lot (renting), money was always an issue. At a young age (I’m talking early teens) I was adamant that I would study hard, go to university and get a good job so that I would never struggle like the way my family did. Most importantly, I always swore I’d never bring children into the world unless I could support them. Throughout my twenties I was very zealous in birth control for this exact reason.

anyway, I read a bit more about Jack and turns out she got pregnant from a casual liaison with a friend. Childcare issues, according to wiki, are why she was plunged into poverty. Having a baby shouldn’t equate to poverty, but it did irritate me that Jack describes herself as coming from a working class background (apparently hasn’t done anything to ensure she gets herself out of poverty) and It feels irresponsible to me that she had a baby and then complained, as though single motherhood has ever been presented as an easy option for anyone. In short, Jack was struggling financiall because of her own life decisions. She hadn’t gotten a particularly good or secure job, and then she had a baby.

anyway, I don’t want to sound super judgemental of her, because I’m not. The reason it irritates me so much is because poverty has almost become a badge of honour for her. The constant victim hood.

Jack went from a single mother struggling financially, to a successful blogger, to a successful TV persona and author in a successful relationship.

I saw her tweets about renting her home and the first sale sign, and it was as though she was placing herself into victim hood over nothing.

I can’t comment on her finances, but it baffles me that she has achieved all of the above and has never managed to get a deposit on a home together (along with her partner) if home stability is such a sore point for her. I’m forced to wonder if she paints herself as the victim because 1. It’s familiar or 2. She gets attention from it. I never had a stable home and home ownership therefore was something I’ve always been obsessed about and worked hard towards.

On a side note, I don’t meant to sound judgemental. It’s just for me, growing up with the financial struggles and instability, forced me into ensuring I could guarantee I could provide stability and comfort to a child before I had one. I’d have loved to have had a baby earlier but I couldn’t bring myself to until I owned a home. Being in poverty is terrible for anyone. But it’s particularly difficult as a child (IMO) because you have no agency over it. You are utterly helpless. It forced me to grow up early, I didn’t have a carefree childhood. it gave me a very strong ambition and work ethic. I refused to admit (even now as an adult) how much I struggled because I didn’t want people to pity me.

I guess it baffles me that Jack doesn’t appear to have the same drive, even though she seems to have come from similar circumstances to me.

Jack equates the working class experience with what is sub par, less than. She says she’s WC because she assumes we’re all thick and skint. I also grew up skint and went on to get all A*s and As as did all my mates, tbh we had the fear of being sent “back home” in us as well as the actual desire to do well. We had the privilege of living in a city and especially one w free buses for kids so work was accessible (appreciate the story goes v diff for our rural fraus because of underfunding in public transport services & especially the discrepancy in arts and education funding).

She grew up in a 5 bed, with a Land Rover, tons of expensive extra curriculars, her dad’s side are all landlords with multiple properties, she is minted. She started out in a £27k job in the fire service her dad just happens to be a senior member of staff in. She’s just lazy.

Yesterday I was tempted to explain how maverick mortgages work, I think I have before on this thread, as we have one. She can get a mortgage it just requires some semblance of a deposit, she could probably get away with just 5% if she had the patience.

But the allure of Cotswolds Co is all too much for our greedy little goblin! Let’s hope the Guardian set have all had a whip round to get her into the 5 bed our dear heart deserves for all of her hard work helping the community with... the Unilever collab, Tiggy + Bo undeclared ad, undeclared aff links, and her website that’s 80% adverts x

 

[MarmiteExtract]

I would not want to open post from Stuart...

“Why is this envelope so sticky?”

 

[blurstoftimes]

What's she even on about?

And why doesn't she ask the kiss arses to just email her and save themselves a stamp

Is she suggesting that the journalists will write a story about a for sale sign being mistakenly placed in front of her house? I'm not even sure the Daily Mail would bother putting that in the sidebar

 

[Uberrima fides]

They certainly have quite a strict fitness test. Jack seems to suggest she would have sailed through it, although she seems to have forgotten the multiple ailments she has recorded in the past.

Essex Fire Service surely state in their job adverts 'Applicants must have arthritis, alcoholism and ADHD. These conditions will ensure the safety of all those whom you rescue in the most hazardous, life-threatening situations.'

if I say 'thread title suggestion #74: Bellend'

You've won thread title #74 already with that succinct description of JM.

 

[Bugger13]

Have you plugged your phone in yet?! 1%

I have 3 more charging in the hall thankyou

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Oh my God, the "Jack Monroe has hellish day as a for sale sign is accidentally put up" burn was broadcast to the whole of Tattle. I don't know why this didn't occur to me, thought it was only the canal who would see it for some reason. That is fucking hilarious.

If we’ve acquired any new lurkers out of it pls do comment & join in, I love it when we get newbies it’s like rescuing one of those battery farm hens.

I would love to know how many (unique) page views & active users these threads get tbh. They should have a league table of Tattle scoundrels, Jack has surely usurped Hinch by now??

 

[Bugger13]

Jack you voluntarily share so much identifying info yourself! In the last week you’ve mentioned living near tennis courts and shown a(n interioir) pic of your front door!

Terrorising? If she’s referring to here, I think isis need to check themselves. They’re doing it all wrong-the real way to terrorise is obviously to call out contradictions & bullshit and photoshop infidels at the Groucho club.

 

[NellieBoo]

Good grief. What the ever loving chuff is going on . You don't have to belch out every single fucking thought in your head out onto the internet!

 

[Ellabella]

I've really got to be getting on with some work but...she is asking for people to post her letters of how amazing she is to ground her. Ground her? More like float her fucking great ego into the sky on a hot air balloon.

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

Ooh she LEFT! I don’t think it will last long. It’s not like she has any actual friends so she’ll need the online attention again before too long. I agree with other posters who speculated that maybe she was told she’s gone too far with the recent over sharing about SB

Unless...she’s gearing up to take us all to court and it’s finally happening! My first thought “oh no they’ll read out that I used the word cunt and my mum will be disappointed”. Reader I am 32

 

[GrunkaLunka]

Afraid my dear heart @Silver Linings missed out with her suggestion of: ‘All for the want of a pair of traaazers’. Bit too late to gain any traction (this time)

Thread #74 is here guys, surely?