Jack Monroe #69 I can see clearly now the make-up’s gone

[OhhBacon]

I have read this weeks antics with an open mouth, she never fails to disappoint with her dramas. Well done to everyone for collecting all receipts!

I just want to add my view on the black eye, I know we’ve moved on but when Jack reads this it might help her understand her injury.

So during lockdown I was on the receiving end of an accidental head butt from my dog, that clocked the side of my eye sock in a way that hurt and then bruised. What was weird was that the day after he did it there was no bruising but it really hurt, the bruising came up a few days later when actually it hurt less. But then it was weird because I had forgot about it but it looked worse.

Bruising doesn’t come up straight away so you can’t get sympathy straight away, In future rather than painting on a bruise just wait patiently...the bruise will come and then you’ll be able to claim all the sympathy required to get your dopamine hit.

Patience is needed in other situations too, whilst practising patience you could also practice your presenting skills so you aren’t totally shite at everything you do.

 

[JoyceDivision]

totally shite at everything you do.

#70 contender

 

[HarderFaster]

I didn't think it was possible for her to annoy, sicken, or amuse me any more than she did already but here we are. You win Jackie.

 

[MooBelle]

Oh duck why did I look at the sideboard pictures... WHY?

Just don't watch the kitten video..
Unless of course you want to see actual porn and her cum face

 

[JoyceDivision]

Just don't watch the kitten video..
Unless of course you want to see actual porn and her cum face

That creepy giggle

 

[MooBelle]

Apropos of nothing, when I was lurking a superfan called Nims (?) featured regularly, then disappeared. This happened suddenly after Jack had been shamed into sending her a book for the 2nd time. Just speculation, but with how she treats her plebs, you don't think it was signed 'NOW duck OFF'.

Ah, whatever happened to poor Nims? Bless her. I hope she saw the light and wandered over here

 

[help i need some help!]

This is a very specifically worded tweet. Note how she didn’t say ‘today marks xxx day since I stopped drinking alcohol’, but is qualified first with ‘noticed I had a problem and quit’, So subtly moving the goal posts whereby the mere noticing of the problem is the actual achievement (and possibly using ‘quit’ in the past tense).
She’s not stupid. She can receive acclaim now, as ever stretching the truth by omission, whilst leaving the door open for a big reveal should that particular engagement/excuse ever be needed.

God it’s horrible trying to second-guess a narcissist.

She's really good at deception, smoke and mirrors in word form. Terrible is {to quotish Judge Judy} You need a good memory to be a good liar.

 

[MooBelle]

New Instagram post:
View attachment 234128

1.Why only for the boy?
2.Chips aren't homemade. Nothing wrong with frozen chips, but why imply homemade?
3.Veg is frozen. See as above.

on a Grunka so apologies if already addressed..
The reason for the sudden upsurge of photos of the kid is to PROVE she is a good mother. He doesn't live with her and she's barely seen him all summer. We know when he visits because she goes into overdrive with the photos and crap about feeding him.
She normally does this just before she fucks off somewhere (ie Edinburgh) and people start to question where he is.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Ah, whatever happened to poor Nims? Bless her. I hope she saw the light and wandered over here

I thought about her the other day when we were wondering what her loyal followers would make of eye-gate etc and I think she is an example of how we’re not bullying ninnies. Tattlers were showing genuine concern for her and Barbara and all the other pile-on victims. And that’s aside from the genuine rapport and care the Canal have for each other.

Bunch of bullies

 

[Uberrima fides]

Fair enough, although I think that you will find that stodge with stodge plays an important part in our culinary history e.g. savoury pies or puddings served with potatoes, fish and chips with mushy peas and bread and butter, crisp butties, pie barms, curries with rice and naan and parathas and poppadums ...

In your trip down culinary memory lane, you seem to have forgotten your beloved Fray Bentos pies.

I have read this weeks antics with an open mouth, she never fails to disappoint with her dramas. Well done to everyone for collecting all receipts!

I just want to add my view on the black eye, I know we’ve moved on but when Jack reads this it might help her understand her injury.

So during lockdown I was on the receiving end of an accidental head butt from my dog, that clocked the side of my eye sock in a way that hurt and then bruised. What was weird was that the day after he did it there was no bruising but it really hurt, the bruising came up a few days later when actually it hurt less. But then it was weird because I had forgot about it but it looked worse.

Bruising doesn’t come up straight away so you can’t get sympathy straight away, In future rather than painting on a bruise just wait patiently...the bruise will come and then you’ll be able to claim all the sympathy required to get your dopamine hit.

Patience is needed in other situations too, whilst practising patience you could also practice your presenting skills so you aren’t totally shite at everything you do.

At least you didn't feel the need to share your unfortunate accident on Twitter with a large number of people whom you've never met.

 

[Veronicaaa]

1.Why only for the boy?

The boy is very sensible and actually has taste buds and so refuses to eat his momma's slop. She's said before that he's said that the lasagne the school dinner ladies make is better than hers. More evidence, in case we needed it, that this is a ready meal, because surely she'd have also had fish pie if she'd made it herself.

 

[MancBee]

1.Why only for the boy?

I wondered on this too, it is another indication that it really is a ready made Young's fish pie. Who would go to all the trouble of making a fish pie for their son and not make it large enough to feed you both?

It's not like she's vegan or anything (not after seeing what she's eaten over the past few weeks). Unless she was vegan ONCE, followed by she wasn't vegan THEN, but she is vegan NOW. I can't keep up.

ETA It is like June Whitfield in the Birdseye adverts.
Ambassador " Did you make this chicken pie yourself? "
June "Kriish ni da (but of course)"

 

[Veronicaaa]

I love the way she's transferred a meal for one into a pink casserole dish for that good ol' home cookin' vibe (and also to try to maintain the pretence that she made it herself).

 

[Fitnessqueen]

I wondered on this too, it is another indication that it really is a ready made Young's fish pie. Who would go to all the trouble of making a fish pie for their son and not make it large enough to feed you both?

It's not like she's vegan or anything (not after seeing what she's eaten over the past few weeks). Unless she was vegan ONCE, followed by she wasn't vegan THEN, but she is vegan NOW. I can't keep up.

On the basis that she takes pains to point out she had a “coconut and turmeric brown rice stew type thing“ (yummy) I’d say she’s vegan NOW. Or maybe just yesterday.

 

[Scarletfever]

I wondered on this too, it is another indication that it really is a ready made Young's fish pie. Who would go to all the trouble of making a fish pie for their son and not make it large enough to feed you both?

It's not like she's vegan or anything (not after seeing what she's eaten over the past few weeks). Unless she was vegan ONCE, followed by she wasn't vegan THEN, but she is vegan NOW. I can't keep up.

She's cosplaying vegan for her shiny new followers.

 

[Montrachet]

The reason for the sudden upsurge of photos of the kid is to PROVE she is a good mother. He doesn't live with her and she's barely seen him all summer. We know when he visits because she goes into overdrive with the photos and crap about feeding him.
She normally does this just before she fucks off somewhere (ie Edinburgh) and people start to question where he is.

Much as Betty Draper amused us all yesterday, she will lose her main prop when school starts. She wouldn't have had the intelligence and forethought when high on DKL ephemera, but she should have started this act when lockdown began. Look forward to her new recipes measured in cups, y'all.

Ah, whatever happened to poor Nims? Bless her. I hope she saw the light and wandered over here

It just seemed bizarre that she was responding to so many JM posts, then nothing at all. I wouldn't rule out Jack telling her to do one in her sweet way.

 

[help i need some help!]

Has she EVER mentioned taking her child anywhere? They live by the sea - where are the happy seaside memories? It's an easy train journey to London with all its free wonders. My mother used to pack a picnic and take my children off on adventures which often just meant getting on and off buses. They were thrilled! I sometimes piled the kids and their friends in the car and asked them to take turns in choosing whether to go left, right, straight ahead, etc. That was before the days of satnav and we had tremendous fun discovering new places and then figuring our way back home.

There are lovely woods and countryside, river walks and parks on the doorstep. More to Southend than people think. No excuse to not take him out and about.

 

[Mustard]

There are lovely woods and countryside, river walks and parks on the doorstep. More to Southend than people think. No excuse to not take him out and about.

Don’t forget the park life picture of the two of them (their rear views anyway) the other day.

 

[MooBelle]

Phew, finished my Grunka!
Points of note...

Just as true to her Narc form as always with the food/feeding. Who the duck begrudges feeding their child? 'growing boy eats a lot' no tit Sherlock. That's what you have to do, feed them. It costs money. My Narc Mother used to say exactly the same. Not about food because she used to starve me, but about absolutely anything.
New clothes? So expensive, children cost me a fortune!
School trip? Oh this will bankrupt me!
etc etc
All said loudly to anyone nearby, with a little forced laughter.
Seeing Jack do it to the kid is creepy and upsetting. Poor kid.
Also, that isn't near enough for tea for a 'growing boy'. No wonder he asks for more, he must be bleeping starving.
Don't worry kid, you'll be going back home today and your Stepmum will give you a decent dinner
(which is the whole reason we had these posts, Jack's jealousy)

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I agree the fish pie was not made by her. You wouldn't make a fish pie from scratch for that one small portion, and I don't think she would have piped the mash! You'd use a fork across the surface maybe to pretty it up, but her standing there with a piping bag? Nope.

But then I guess as usual, she hasn't actually said she made it from scratch. Everything is just implied so people draw their own conclusions. A la Parmentier potatoes.