Jack Monroe #69 I can see clearly now the make-up’s gone

[Pocahontas]

#Makingmemories
#ANightAtTheMovies

Stop saying ‘Mom’, you ninny. You grew up in Southend, not Southie.

 

[help i need some help!]

Kids eat a lot, right? This isn’t new information. My boy is a few years younger and doesn’t stop eating.

Anyway, Fraus, my boy accidentally kicked me in the mouth when we were play fighting earlier and I have a throbbing tooth and a fat bruised lip. I have an ouchy mouth and lunch plans tomorrow...is there a particular shade of red lipstick the nice lady doctor recommended or will any do?

Like potatoes, all red lipsticks are the same...

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

From most teenage boys I've encountered, there's not so much pasta as there are whole roast chickens.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

What a day of wholesome content. Pity she couldn't have just taken the day off socials and actually been present with her child though.

 

[colouredlines]

Kids eat a lot, right? This isn’t new information. My boy is a few years younger and doesn’t stop eating.

Anyway, Fraus, my boy accidentally kicked me in the mouth when we were play fighting earlier and I have a throbbing tooth and a fat bruised lip. I have an ouchy mouth and lunch plans tomorrow...is there a particular shade of red lipstick the nice lady doctor recommended or will any do?

Not sure, better go to A&E. If you're lucky they'll throw in a CT scan!

 

[DinosaurSenior]

"awesome!!!". Go duck yourself

 

[MancBee]

Will the New Jackie be more of a Calamity Jane, or Jan Morrow (Pillow Talk) version of Doris Day?

Are we looking forward to a rendition of "Once I had a Secret Love" dedicated to Louisa?

 

[blurstoftimes]

I personally think this new twist is an absolute riot!! How long can jack actually hide her innate bitter cuntiness? She’ll be bursting at the seams by Monday. There’s gonna be a lot of confused Tennessee live, laugh, love mommas by the end of next week that’s for sure.

 

[Lanie]

I am probably way behind everyone but I have been thinking if she is constantly blabbing on twitter or whatever like it you do on the phone, could you imagine living in the house. You wouldn't get a minute, I feel she would be blabbing on from the minute she wakes until she goes to bed. I am a huge talker and have been told I never shut up but I am not on sm or texting all day everyday like that.

 

[colouredlines]

She has form, remember the infamous Mumsnet thread she did from inside the cinema with SB?

Honestly, so sad. We all have that one friend who can't tear themselves away from their phone, but you're spending alleged quality time with your kid, ffs!

 

[GingGangGoolie]

You too hun x

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Sorry guys. P!nk is finally gone to be replaced by this little beauty.

Forever will we remember Jack’s shimmery eye, the perfect black eye some would say and the classic FaceTune on the hair and fake bruise.

Feels a bit like an alien has taken over JM. But like a rat up a drainpipe, JM has found a new way to rattle that Patreon link with going all Insta Mom, it won’t last. Some news article will come out and her inner bleep will be released, or a Frau will rake her bins for the Youngs fish pie and prove the fact she used a ready meal and passed it off as her own (which is becoming a regular occurrence now).

 

[Dogmuck]

What the actual duck has happened? Did something happen in that CT scan, did she have some sort of evangelical epiphany at the housing conference? She’s become Jack Mom-roe

 

[PoorPatrol]

@Dogmuck maybe the CT scan bruise-ruse was just put there to thwart us, and really she went for an exorcism?

 

[Tabitha D]

View attachment 234195

#makingmemories
#mrsdoubfire

“drinking pints of milk ... lovely creamy whole milk”.
So - lactose intolerant or not, Jack?? It’s difficult to keep up.

 

[Bugger13]

What the actual duck has happened? Did something happen in that CT scan, did she have some sort of evangelical epiphany at the housing conference? She’s become Jack Mom-roe

Reminds me of Christmas vacation. Fell down a well, eyes went crossed. Got kicked by a mule, went back together.
Or in Jack’s case, fell into a tap, eye went shimmery.
Came out of the CT scan, turned into a supermom.

 

[Dogmuck]

@Dogmuck maybe the CT scan bruise-ruse was just put there to thwart us, and really she went for an exorcism?

She did say they had a bed for her

 

[Tabitha D]

I love Mrs Doubtfire but it hasn't aged well in that some of it is rather transphobic.

Prepare for rantings.

Well not just that, but a man who disguises himself in order to gain access to his ex-wife’s house. Creepy and controlling.

 

[vale]

Grew up round an alcoholic, awful disease. Ruins all it comes near to, and I hate the idea others sharing their real experiences with her if she has lied about it.

But she is a massive narc so...

I once had a best friend and a “love interest” self-distruct through alcohol. It went from a weekend thing to daily habit. It was so painful to watch.

 

[Blurp]

Roxanne pallette used to be on our local radio station. The presenters went carting (don't quite me in that, it was something that had wheels on), she had such a bad accident they had to air ambulance her to hospital. When it all came out a few days later all she had was a mildly sprained wrist but had made such a fuss they thought she was seriously hurt. There was uproar about it. She used to live near a friend of mine, and I won't repeat when she said about her and her odd boyfriend.

Oh, go on, go on, go on....