Congratulations to @Petelgeuse on your first thread title! 52 reactions
Special mention to @Alansbigplate for Diagnosis: Collection 2000. This had a lot of reactions, but I wasnât sure if it was a thread title suggestion.
Recap of thread #67
Oh dear, what can the matter be?She proved us all wrong with photos from A & E
Special mention to @Alansbigplate for Diagnosis: Collection 2000. This had a lot of reactions, but I wasnât sure if it was a thread title suggestion.
Recap of thread #67
Oh dear, what can the matter be?She proved us all wrong with photos from A & E
- Well, she went to the hospital. And was given a
lollipopCAT scan and eye patch for her woes. Sheâs not going to post any more selfies until it heals (or she pushes the boat out for some next day delivery yellow and green snazaroo). - She posted a collage of photos to prove that she was in triage, with the tender caption of âHere you go. Now get fucked.â Must have been the gas and air talking, sheâs usually so mild mannered.
- She couldnât really see out of her right eye but still took a pile of work books (Twitter and Tattle), because Jack Monroe is ALWAYS working.
- Hallelujah, she got a version of âOh, no. Whatâs up, hun? Iâll DM you?â from her âmomâ. So, it was all worth it.
- In addition to cabal and coven, we can possibly also add âconspiracy wankersâ and âobsessive group of completely unhinged bulliesâ to the loving terms of endearment bestowed on us by Jack.
- Praise beans, her eye socket was not fractured, just âbashedâ. Itâs still very sore though, ok? And purple and red and yellow - basically all the colours of the rainbow.
- Despite having to cut her sandwiches into twenty tiny squares earlier in the day, she âhoofedâ a packet of cheap sliced white when she got home from the hospital.
- She went to the park today with her son and posted a completely candid and natural shot of their backs. Real question is, who took the photo?
- Sheâs watching Supermarket Sweep. What about the book, Jack? What about the conference?
- Too late, sheâs BUSY criticising the appearance of food bank donation boxes and calling them âpropsâ. Once again, she is failing to see the bigger picture, but at least Rylan is attempting to explain this to the sulky toddler in her yellow macintosh. #teamrylan
- Sheâs 5â 1.7â.
- She back-pedalled faster than a swan on ice and contradicted everything sheâd said earlier about food bank donation boxes used as props. You know what, she loves Rylan and she loves Supermarket Sweep, so absolutely get fucked.
For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon âs âJack for Dummiesâ post (edited to include updated info):
Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack v Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/
Thread no 31 is the infamous thread on which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on page 17.
For anyone wanting to re-live the glory days of her 2 week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL): Threads 2-9
*** JACKISMS ***
Jackâs most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:
Yes, absolutely x
Some other favourite Jack quotes:
âBabe, sameâ
âI did a chaosâ
âMy maverick brainâ
âMy sad little faceâ
âIâm BUSYâ
âI HOOTED / I am FIZZINGâ
âI laughed up a lungâ
One of Jackâs followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfrausâ˘ď¸. *She also recently referred to us as âgossip mavensâ (so, we are gossip trusted experts)*
To âGrunkaLunkaâ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time.
Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts to intimidate us, so thatâs what we mean by that.
Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that itâs what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some âRIP Vivâ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)
We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putinâs bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.
During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to âhorse spunkâ - there may be some horse âspiritâ lasagne jokes.
Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: âThank you so Matt much, Mattâ, which made us all HOOT.
Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: âNow duck offâ. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to duck off, simply paying homage to Jackâs own genteel humour.
Also:
Here is a link to Jackâs Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering âTerrible!â on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil âs hilarious Glossary of Jack.
We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we donât discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack v Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/
Thread no 31 is the infamous thread on which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on page 17.
For anyone wanting to re-live the glory days of her 2 week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL): Threads 2-9
*** JACKISMS ***
Jackâs most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:
Yes, absolutely x
Some other favourite Jack quotes:
âBabe, sameâ
âI did a chaosâ
âMy maverick brainâ
âMy sad little faceâ
âIâm BUSYâ
âI HOOTED / I am FIZZINGâ
âI laughed up a lungâ
One of Jackâs followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfrausâ˘ď¸. *She also recently referred to us as âgossip mavensâ (so, we are gossip trusted experts)*
To âGrunkaLunkaâ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time.
Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts to intimidate us, so thatâs what we mean by that.
Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that itâs what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some âRIP Vivâ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)
We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putinâs bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.
During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to âhorse spunkâ - there may be some horse âspiritâ lasagne jokes.
Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: âThank you so Matt much, Mattâ, which made us all HOOT.
Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: âNow duck offâ. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to duck off, simply paying homage to Jackâs own genteel humour.
Also:
- She grew up in a 5 bed (mortgaged/owned) house
- She got a ÂŁ4.5k Omega watch for her 21st
- Her dad's a bleeping LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
- Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jackâs words: âShe [Louisa] leftâ.
- Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
- She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
- During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. âIt just does.â
Here is a link to Jackâs Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering âTerrible!â on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil âs hilarious Glossary of Jack.
We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we donât discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.