Jack Monroe #67 Eye can’t believe it’s not glitter

[Saint_clemmie]

I’ve been avoiding commenting on the black eye just incase it turns out to be real...b..u...u...u....t... I can’t help but think we’d be subjected to many many more photos from each angle. She always posts multiples, usually...3 plus different edits for Instagram and twitter. I can’t believe she’s only given us one measly photo this time.

(probably jinxed it now, she’ll prove me wrong in a minute, just wait)

 

[Emmapism]

Does anyone else think she has two phones so she can constantly be tweeting?

Charge one up whilst posting inane bibble on another?

Aaaaaaand switch!

 

[Lornadoom]

I am sorry I commented on my sink incident before, it was just to point out that such mishaps with bruising do not look like her selfies at all.

 

[SoulRebel]

Please dont call her 'just' a lesbian or I think there is a clear and present danger of a 'summoning'....

But we know that she has tits and a 'very nice vagina'. Sorry sorry to new members but there is no inch of Jack's body (size 6 shoe) that we haven't been exposed to.

 

[Saint_clemmie]

Don’t quote, just report fraus

 

[Tabitha D]

I hadn’t realised this virtual conference/summit thing she’s doing was quite so imminent. Shouldn’t she be writing her speech?
So I’m thinking this black eye really is an attempt to get out of it last minute, which as we know is a pattern for her.
I mean, surely she can’t be planning to do a presentation with a very obviously makeup-enhanced black eye? As if people won’t be able to spot that.

 

[SoulRebel]

Does anyone else think she has two phones so she can constantly be tweeting?

Charge one up whilst posting inane bibble on another?

Aaaaaaand switch!

@Silver Linings, our resident Inspector Gadget who takes notes on such things.

 

[SandyBallz]

I'm still trying to grasp the fact that she (she didn't) invented Healthy Start vouchers.. WHY IS NO-ONE ON THE INTERNET TALKING ABOUT THIS? WHY?

 

[Adayinthelife]

Oh you naughty Fraus made me break my (self imposed) September social media ban and go and look at her Twitter, only to find this gem:

 

[SandyBallz]

A decade is a long time to be procrastinating about sandwiches.

 

[Silver Linings]

@Silver Linings, our resident Inspector Gadget who takes notes on such things.

I don’t know why it tickles me so much, tbh! Just thinking about how stressful and chaotic it would be to literally have a phone in each hand gives me the willies.

Like when you’re in the middle of watching something and you’re texting and then you accidentally add something random into the message, or text the wrong person when you’re being a cow about someone. Shudder!

 

[Droosie123]

I've never seen such a bad false black eye created from make up as I did there, please tell me folk are not taken in by this tit.

Jack....you are an attention seeking fuckwit.

Your poor child having you as a parent. Thank God his Dad clearly cares for him so much...it might just undo some of the emotional damage you inflict.

 

[Lornadoom]

She's too shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye
Too shy shy, hush hush, black eye-black eye

Love a bit of Kajagoogoo me.

These threads move so fast. Thank you so much for your explanations on the other thread.

 

[SoulRebel]

I don’t know why it tickles me so much, tbh! Just thinking about how stressful and chaotic it would be to literally have a phone in each hand gives me the willies.

Like when you’re in the middle of watching something and you’re texting and then you accidentally add something random into the message, or text the wrong person when you’re being a cow about someone. Shudder!

I did this years ago, thought I'd sent a message to a boyfriend of the time called Ray but had sent it to a colleague called Rae. It was quite a naughty message but Rae was really kind and never told anyone.

 

[Captainmouse]

Jack needs to read up on Millie Thompson

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Like others I do think she probably took a tumble and hurt herself, but she has enhanced the damage. No word of exaggeration, I looked at Twitter before coming here as always, and my first thought was WTF, that looks like a lot of makeup on there. It's highlighted to perfection, with the rest of her skin looking absolutely flawless too. I actually thought she cannot be serious with this.

ETA: if she said oh, I put a bit of glow moisturiser, or a bit of shimmery powder on to make myself feel better, fine. But she denies everything, just like the time she denied badly facetuning her teeth so white she even turned parts of her gums white. Cringe! (I think she actually admitted to that on thread #31??)

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

Much too early I'm sure there will be capers galore by page 50 but can't resist. Title suggestion:

Jack Monroe 68: ex, lies and for goodness sake!!

 

[SweetTransvestite]

She's just a lesbian now but her sexuality is nothing to do with us and I don't think it's ever been discussed here.

Nicely said SR... thank you

 

[MrsOgre]

She's here!
Although no idea what she's on about.

Oh Jack is that Nigella you're talking about?

 

[Veronicaaa]

She's here!
Although no idea what she's on about.View attachment 231146View attachment 231151

Ah yes, that well known class distinguisher - how you cut your sandwiches. 'Common' people, of course, cut it in rectangles, like our Jackie.