Jack Monroe #67 Eye can’t believe it’s not glitter

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @SandyBallz for your very first thread title! A worthy winner with 53 reactions


Recap of thread #66

Well, where do we start?

1. Her poverty book is due to be written so she needed to get off Twitter and focus.
2. Surprise, surprise, she came back and she’s big fucking mad.
3. She is a ‘shy poet’.
4. She has three, count them, three enormous lever arch files of ‘notes’ for the book, which seemingly will be based on newspaper clippings and not first-hand accounts and verified ethnographic case studies of her own. Rehashed beans are best served never.
5. Her research makes her want to scream at the top of her lungs until she is sick. She is also burning from the inside out. <insert Jack-Jack from The Incredibles gif>
6. Did you know that she invented the Healthy Start Voucher scheme that Marcus Rashford is campaigning for? Wow, someone should tell him.
7. She raved about Richard Osman’s new book and one by little old her - both with undeclared affiliation links.
8. Her Patreon tier prices have gone back up.
9. She fell over her own size six feet and bruised her eye on the sink. Or a tap. Photos to prove such a thing happened were posted. She bruises like a Twilight vampire sitting in a literal sunbeam.
10. Will she be able to deliver her speech at Total Housing 2020 virtual summit? All the doggos in the world don’t know how to answer this one.
11. She’s giving it large with her opinions and shit and made another hard-hitting poll. This time about sandwiches. She despises a flappy sandwich and everyone stop talking about the deleted photo of her eye bruise. Small triangles, big triangles, small squares, rectangles. Not her bruise, la la la.
12. What about your book, Jack? Write it, numbnuts. Chasing you away from Tattle as well.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Which lovely Frau is going to photoshop Pennywise into this lovely family portrait?!

Against my better judgement

 

[HarderFaster]

A new thread might also be an opportune moment to let new posters know that we don't bash Jack because she's gay or trans (well, claimed to be, temporarily).

We talk about her lies because she elicits money from her follower base while earning a decent crust, starts pile-ons of people whose success she envies or who dare pull her up on her questionable stories, and generally places herself as The Voice Of All Povvos even though she does nothing of note other than tweet vitriol from her £400 John Lewis hammock on her iPhone 11 (though she occasionally switches to an Android).

 

[Bookweevil]

Why the hell didn’t she at least use thank you very matte much matte eyeshadow to create that ‘shiner’?

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Hey Jack,

Get off Tattle. It is not for you.

Yours,

The Cabal.

 

[Alansbigplate]

View attachment 232271

If back peddling were an Olympic sport

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Lol get off Tattle, Jack

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

“That’s just the light bouncing off my face” ok Edward Cullen

 

[Inagaddadaleela]

I've followed this for a while, after initially being a fan of JM, then some things not quite making sense, googling it and then stumbling upon this treasure trove of contradictions, noticed by people with a clearly more finely attuned bullshit detector than I am blessed with because it took me a loooong time to put any of it together.
Last night was the last straw. I can't believe that makeup fooled anyone - I've done more convincing injury makeup on my children for Halloween. Reading all the concerned tweets made me feel like I was losing the plot - are they all pretending to be concerned about her clearly cosmetic-induced black eye or are they genuinely so caught up in their sycophancy that they can't see how obvious it is?!
And then I got sick of not being able to zoom in on the screen shots, and well, the rest is history! Here I am, with a proper account and everything. Well and truly through the looking glass.

 

[blurstoftimes]

 

[Alansbigplate]

I stepped away from Tattle to relax on my fictional boat re-reading all my old Quincy scripts.
Did I miss much Fraus? I assume you've kept all the receipts, pointed out the Jimmy Nail-isms and continued with the sparkling wit. I salute you.

How bad is it doc? You think it’s spreading?

 

[hanjams]

I've followed this for a while, after initially being a fan of JM, then some things not quite making sense, googling it and then stumbling upon this treasure trove of contradictions, noticed by people with a clearly more finely attuned bullshit detector than I am blessed with because it took me a loooong time to put any of it together.
Last night was the last straw. I can't believe that makeup fooled anyone - I've done more convincing injury makeup on my children for Halloween. Reading all the concerned tweets made me feel like I was losing the plot - are they all pretending to be concerned about her clearly cosmetic-induced black eye or are they genuinely so caught up in their sycophancy that they can't see how obvious it is?!
And then I got sick of not being able to zoom in on the screen shots, and well, the rest is history! Here I am, with a proper account and everything. Well and truly through the looking glass.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Would love for Rylan to google Jack Monroe and become...



sorry mods x

 

[busylass]

I've been reading this morning about Chadwick Boseman who didn't tell anyone apart from very close family and friends about having cancer. No one was aware of it when he was filming Black Panther and he also spent time visiting ill children in hospital. How brave and dignified, still giving back when it must've been so difficult for him. Jack on the other hand....

 

[Debarkle]

Interesting to see how this plays out. Rylan is v popular (I think he’s great)

 

[Veronicaaa]

Creme de la creme Pat.

 

[Pocahontas]

Interesting to see how this plays out. Rylan is v popular (I think he’s great)

Yas. Go Rylan. Glad to see he agrees with me

 

[NellieBoo]

Uh oh. Shits going to go DOWN!

 

[Brian Butterfield]

ALSO, Jack, it is you who is obsessed with us. You're the unhinged one.

We can take or leave you. I come and have a read when I have some downtime and fancy a laugh as these Fraus are funny as fuck.

You clearly read and obsess over every single word written here. You're not cut out for life in the public eye (no pun intended), despite living and broadcasting your every waking moment online. It's just plain weird and extremely unhealthy.

Now fuck off.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Just in case you're wondering, Jack , a pal - who is not a tattler - DM'd me this today, completely unprovoked. So it's not just the cabal who's like