Jack Monroe #66 A potato is a potato

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Congratulations to the one and only @Silver Linings for the new thread title! A princely 54 reactions šŸŽ‰ I assure you no nepotism was involved, but I do mean to make her my pirate wife and we will sail the high seas together.

Recap of thread #65

1. Honorary double-doctorate Jack to the rescue! Sheā€™s currently putting together a book on austerity and hunger in Britain, especially focusing on the last ten years. She wants people to tell their stories of their poverty and hunger hardship. She will reply, ā€˜Sameā€™ to any and all stories of poverty, such as ...

2. Putting on her heating in bloody August. ā€˜Absolutely ridiculous.ā€™ Yes, it is, Jack. Strewth.

3. She was angry at people who exploited loopholes in the Eat Out to Help Out scheme. Screaming as an ex-waitress, and someone who went for two separate meals on the same night, donā€™t you know.

4. She mavericked a carbonara dish with some ā€˜meltedā€™ halloumi, some parmentier potatoes, some griddled courgettes, a salad, some bean pasta with hand-podded (as opposed to foot-podded?) beans, and boiled mushrooms in a mint, parsley and basil sauce. Ooft.

5. We also got to see the fruits of her spoiled greengage jam (but not the cheap wet ham, sadly).

6. She asked for some recommendations for her reading/reference list for her poverty book. No, not that one, sheā€™s got that. Yes, sheā€™s got that one too, you fool. Three copies of it as well. And she did a cover quote for that one, what are you talking about, cretins!

7. Sheā€™s been given a kombucha scoby by a friend but really doesnā€™t want it, so thanks a lot friend, sheā€™s now going to witch about it on Twitter.

8. Sheā€™s created a poll that asks parents of school-age children what their biggest concern is about going back. Donā€™t worry though, whatever answer or concern that you as a parent may have, Jack will reply with the comforting, empathetic, all-encompassing ā€˜Same.ā€™

9. Yet again, she is being an incorrigible hole on Twitter and is using it as a forum on which to discuss personal and private things about her sonā€™s health and well-being and whether or not heā€™ll have chance to sit the 11-plus. Because she canā€™t afford a tutor, OF COURSE.

For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ā€˜s ā€˜Jack for Dummiesā€™ post (edited to include updated info):

Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack v Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/

Thread no 31 is the infamous thread on which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on page 17.

For anyone wanting to re-live the glory days of her 2 week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL): Threads 2-9

*** JACKISMS ***

Jackā€™s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:

Yes, absolutely x

Some other favourite Jack quotes:

ā€˜Babe, sameā€™

ā€˜I did a chaosā€™

ā€˜My maverick brainā€™

ā€˜My sad little faceā€™

ā€˜Iā€™m BUSYā€™

ā€˜I HOOTED / I am FIZZINGā€™

ā€˜I laughed up a lungā€™
šŸ„“
One of Jackā€™s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfrausā„¢ļø. *She also recently referred to us as ā€˜gossip mavensā€™ (so, we are gossip trusted experts)*

To ā€˜GrunkaLunkaā€™ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time.

Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts to intimidate us, so thatā€™s what we mean by that.

Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that itā€™s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ā€˜RIP Vivā€™ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)

We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putinā€™s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.

During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ā€˜horse spunkā€™ - there may be some horse ā€˜spiritā€™ lasagne jokes.

Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ā€˜Thank you so Matt much, Mattā€™, which made us all HOOT.

Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ā€˜Now duck offā€™. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to duck off, simply paying homage to Jackā€™s own genteel humour.

Also:
  • She grew up in a 5 bed (mortgaged/owned) house
  • She got a Ā£4.5k Omega watch for her 21st
  • Her dad's a bleeping LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
  • Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jackā€™s words: ā€˜She [Louisa] leftā€™.
  • Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
  • She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
  • During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. ā€˜It just does.ā€™

Here is a link to Jackā€™s Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering ā€˜Terrible!ā€™ on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ā€˜s hilarious Glossary of Jack.

We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we donā€™t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Haha
Reactions: 95
How long till Jack starts an onlyfans and for the bargain price of Ā£5 a month you can watch her pour greengage slime over herself.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Sick
Reactions: 41
I havenā€™t been able to keep up with the last few threads as work has been sucking every waking moment from my life. @Pocahontas may I just say, your recaps are...


How long till Jack starts an onlyfans and for the bargain price of Ā£5 a month you can watch her pour greengage slime over herself.
Stop giving her ideas!
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: 40
My head is spinning like Reagan, so she was working class Jack struggling to buy school uniform this morning and this afternoon itā€™s all the Grammar school entrance exam chat. This evening sheā€™s likely to have become the dowager countess of Southend
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 56
Thank you Pocahontas šŸ˜˜
All this about schooling is for attention. Any mention anywhere on any platform about the way things are right now is guaranteed to get around to the schools reopening. Itā€™s a concern right at the forefront of so many peoples minds.
Ergo. Mention schools and engagement is right up there.
Sheā€™s on a roll now.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 23
My head is spinning like Reagan, so she was working class Jack struggling to buy school uniform this morning and this afternoon itā€™s all the Grammar school entrance exam chat. This evening sheā€™s likely to have become the dowager countess of Southend

33AACB4C-0104-405A-8D7D-14643443DE39.jpeg
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Angry
Reactions: 28
Congratulations to the one and only @Silver Linings for the new thread title! A princely 54 reactions šŸŽ‰ I assure you no nepotism was involved, but I do mean to make her my pirate wife and we will sail the high seas together.

Recap of thread #65

1. Honorary double-doctorate Jack to the rescue! Sheā€™s currently putting together a book on austerity and hunger in Britain, especially focusing on the last ten years. She wants people to tell their stories of their poverty and hunger hardship. She will reply, ā€˜Sameā€™ to any and all stories of poverty, such as ...

2. Putting on her heating in bloody August. ā€˜Absolutely ridiculous.ā€™ Yes, it is, Jack. Strewth.

3. She was angry at people who exploited loopholes in the Eat Out to Help Out scheme. Screaming as an ex-waitress, and someone who went for two separate meals on the same night, donā€™t you know.

4. She mavericked a carbonara dish with some ā€˜meltedā€™ halloumi, some parmentier potatoes, some griddled courgettes, a salad, some bean pasta with hand-podded (as opposed to foot-podded?) beans, and boiled mushrooms in a mint, parsley and basil sauce. Ooft.

5. We also got to see the fruits of her spoiled greengage jam (but not the cheap wet ham, sadly).

6. She asked for some recommendations for her reading/reference list for her poverty book. No, not that one, sheā€™s got that. Yes, sheā€™s got that one too, you fool. Three copies of it as well. And she did a cover quote for that one, what are talking about, cretins!

7. Sheā€™s been given a kombucha scoby by a friend but really doesnā€™t want it, so thanks a lot friend, sheā€™s now going to witch about it on Twitter.

8. Sheā€™s created a poll that asks parents of school-age children what their biggest concern is about going back. Donā€™t worry though, whatever answer or concern that you as a parent may have, Jack will reply with the comforting, empathetic, all-encompassing ā€˜Same.ā€™

9. Yet again, she is being an incorrigible hole on Twitter and is using it as a forum on which to discuss personal and private things about her sonā€™s health and well-being and whether or not heā€™ll have chance to sit the 11-plus. Because she canā€™t afford a tutor, OF COURSE.

For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ā€˜s ā€˜Jack for Dummiesā€™ post (edited to include updated info):

Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack v Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/

Thread no 31 is the infamous thread on which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on page 17.

For anyone wanting to re-live the glory days of her 2 week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL): Threads 2-9

*** JACKISMS ***

Jackā€™s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:

Yes, absolutely x

Some other favourite Jack quotes:

ā€˜Babe, sameā€™

ā€˜I did a chaosā€™

ā€˜My maverick brainā€™

ā€˜My sad little faceā€™

ā€˜Iā€™m BUSYā€™

ā€˜I HOOTED / I am FIZZINGā€™

ā€˜I laughed up a lungā€™
šŸ„“
One of Jackā€™s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfrausā„¢ļø. *She also recently referred to us as ā€˜gossip mavensā€™ (so, we are gossip trusted experts)*

To ā€˜GrunkaLunkaā€™ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time.

Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts to intimidate us, so thatā€™s what we mean by that.

Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that itā€™s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ā€˜RIP Vivā€™ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)

We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putinā€™s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.

During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ā€˜horse spunkā€™ - there may be some horse ā€˜spiritā€™ lasagne jokes.

Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ā€˜Thank you so Matt much, Mattā€™, which made us all HOOT.

Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ā€˜Now duck offā€™. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to duck off, simply paying homage to Jackā€™s own genteel humour.

Also:
  • She grew up in a 5 bed (mortgaged/owned) house
  • She got a Ā£4.5k Omega watch for her 21st
  • Her dad's a bleeping LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
  • Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jackā€™s words: ā€˜She [Louisa] leftā€™.
  • Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
  • She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
  • During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. ā€˜It just does.ā€™

Here is a link to Jackā€™s Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering ā€˜Terrible!ā€™ on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ā€˜s hilarious Glossary of Jack.

We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we donā€™t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
Also sheā€™s admitted her dry clock is reset to zero but she is being ā€˜carefulā€™ šŸ™„

Great work Poca as always!
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 16
Congratulations to the one and only @Silver Linings for the new thread title! A princely 54 reactions šŸŽ‰ I assure you no nepotism was involved, but I do mean to make her my pirate wife and we will sail the high seas together.

Recap of thread #65

1. Honorary double-doctorate Jack to the rescue! Sheā€™s currently putting together a book on austerity and hunger in Britain, especially focusing on the last ten years. She wants people to tell their stories of their poverty and hunger hardship. She will reply, ā€˜Sameā€™ to any and all stories of poverty, such as ...

2. Putting on her heating in bloody August. ā€˜Absolutely ridiculous.ā€™ Yes, it is, Jack. Strewth.

3. She was angry at people who exploited loopholes in the Eat Out to Help Out scheme. Screaming as an ex-waitress, and someone who went for two separate meals on the same night, donā€™t you know.

4. She mavericked a carbonara dish with some ā€˜meltedā€™ halloumi, some parmentier potatoes, some griddled courgettes, a salad, some bean pasta with hand-podded (as opposed to foot-podded?) beans, and boiled mushrooms in a mint, parsley and basil sauce. Ooft.

5. We also got to see the fruits of her spoiled greengage jam (but not the cheap wet ham, sadly).

6. She asked for some recommendations for her reading/reference list for her poverty book. No, not that one, sheā€™s got that. Yes, sheā€™s got that one too, you fool. Three copies of it as well. And she did a cover quote for that one, what are talking about, cretins!

7. Sheā€™s been given a kombucha scoby by a friend but really doesnā€™t want it, so thanks a lot friend, sheā€™s now going to witch about it on Twitter.

8. Sheā€™s created a poll that asks parents of school-age children what their biggest concern is about going back. Donā€™t worry though, whatever answer or concern that you as a parent may have, Jack will reply with the comforting, empathetic, all-encompassing ā€˜Same.ā€™

9. Yet again, she is being an incorrigible hole on Twitter and is using it as a forum on which to discuss personal and private things about her sonā€™s health and well-being and whether or not heā€™ll have chance to sit the 11-plus. Because she canā€™t afford a tutor, OF COURSE.

For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ā€˜s ā€˜Jack for Dummiesā€™ post (edited to include updated info):

Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack v Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/

Thread no 31 is the infamous thread on which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on page 17.

For anyone wanting to re-live the glory days of her 2 week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL): Threads 2-9

*** JACKISMS ***

Jackā€™s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:

Yes, absolutely x

Some other favourite Jack quotes:

ā€˜Babe, sameā€™

ā€˜I did a chaosā€™

ā€˜My maverick brainā€™

ā€˜My sad little faceā€™

ā€˜Iā€™m BUSYā€™

ā€˜I HOOTED / I am FIZZINGā€™

ā€˜I laughed up a lungā€™
šŸ„“
One of Jackā€™s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfrausā„¢ļø. *She also recently referred to us as ā€˜gossip mavensā€™ (so, we are gossip trusted experts)*

To ā€˜GrunkaLunkaā€™ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time.

Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts to intimidate us, so thatā€™s what we mean by that.

Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that itā€™s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ā€˜RIP Vivā€™ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)

We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putinā€™s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.

During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ā€˜horse spunkā€™ - there may be some horse ā€˜spiritā€™ lasagne jokes.

Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ā€˜Thank you so Matt much, Mattā€™, which made us all HOOT.

Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ā€˜Now duck offā€™. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to duck off, simply paying homage to Jackā€™s own genteel humour.

Also:
  • She grew up in a 5 bed (mortgaged/owned) house
  • She got a Ā£4.5k Omega watch for her 21st
  • Her dad's a bleeping LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
  • Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jackā€™s words: ā€˜She [Louisa] leftā€™.
  • Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
  • She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
  • During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. ā€˜It just does.ā€™

Here is a link to Jackā€™s Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering ā€˜Terrible!ā€™ on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ā€˜s hilarious Glossary of Jack.

We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we donā€™t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
Perfection as ever @Pocahontas but point 6 led to an audible guffaw.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 17
School is what you make of it. I struggled in primary school, yet took off in high school and I went to that was pretty rough, as in full of bad kids and teachers who had just about given up. Yet i did well and managed to get on to further education.

She's making a mountain out if a mole hill, the whole point of 11+ and going to high school is letting your child take a bit of control of their lives and wanting to do what they want. Many parents cannot handle letting go off the reigns so soon and out pressure on their kids to do their bidding. I have told myself my kids when they get to that stage will be allowed to pick their own school but with guidance of pros and cons. Kids are not stupid let them go their own way, we just need to guide them by encouragement and making sure they are safe.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 11
I feel uneasy with people in my social circles who overshare on Facebook about their kids' SEN, dietary habits, school performances, nappy explosions etc. Bad enough on their private profiles without taking it to Twitter.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 35
What the duck is the 11+ nonsense? I've never been more enraged with her. Yep, selective schooling, the well-known equalizer. She couldn't be more middle-class in her thinking if she tried.

Not being down on anyone here who is middle-class. The obviously fucked up thing with the class system is that it's determined for you where you are on the ladder. It's the entitled thinking that is fucked up.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 37
Just read thread 31. Incredible. Iā€™m getting rid of my telly and following Jack on twitter instead.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 49
She's gonna get angry soonView attachment 229039
The reason her son is genuinely conflicted is because he has been brought up by a self obsessed narcissistic moron who changes her mind more often than some people change their underwear.

On a musical theme, I discovered a song written by Reba McEntire which surely must have been inspired by Jack Monroe, who is an obvious muse for well known singer songwriters. It is called 'Fancy':love:

Fancy

I remember it all very well, lookin' back
It was the summer I turned eighteen
We lived in a one room, rundown shack
On the outskirts of New Orleans Southend
We didn't have money for food or rent
To say the least, we were hard pressed
Then Mama spent every last penny we had
To buy me a dancin' dress
Mama washed and combed and curled my hair
And then she painted my eyes and lips, then I stepped into a satin
Dancin' dress that had a split on the side clean up to my hip
It was red velvet trim and it fit me good
Standin' back from the lookin' glass
There stood a woman where a half gown kid had stood
She said, "here's your one chance, Fancy, don't let me down
Here's your one chance, Fancy, don't let me down"
Mama dabbed a little bit of perfume on my neck
Then she kissedā€¦
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Sad
Reactions: 11
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.