Congratulations to the one and only @Silver Linings for the new thread title! A princely 54 reactions 
I assure you no nepotism was involved, but I do mean to make her my pirate wife and we will sail the high seas together.
Recap of thread #65
1. Honorary double-doctorate Jack to the rescue! She’s currently putting together a book on austerity and hunger in Britain, especially focusing on the last ten years. She wants people to tell their stories of their poverty and hunger hardship. She will reply, ‘Same’ to any and all stories of poverty, such as ...
2. Putting on her heating in bloody August. ‘Absolutely ridiculous.’ Yes, it is, Jack. Strewth.
3. She was angry at people who exploited loopholes in the Eat Out to Help Out scheme. Screaming as an ex-waitress, and someone who went for two separate meals on the same night, don’t you know.
4. She mavericked a carbonara dish with some ‘melted’ halloumi, some parmentier potatoes, some griddled courgettes, a salad, some bean pasta with hand-podded (as opposed to foot-podded?) beans, and boiled mushrooms in a mint, parsley and basil sauce. Ooft.
5. We also got to see the fruits of her spoiled greengage jam (but not the cheap wet ham, sadly).
6. She asked for some recommendations for her reading/reference list for her poverty book. No, not that one, she’s got that. Yes, she’s got that one too, you fool. Three copies of it as well. And she did a cover quote for that one, what are you talking about, cretins!
7. She’s been given a kombucha scoby by a friend but really doesn’t want it, so thanks a lot friend, she’s now going to bitch about it on Twitter.
8. She’s created a poll that asks parents of school-age children what their biggest concern is about going back. Don’t worry though, whatever answer or concern that you as a parent may have, Jack will reply with the comforting, empathetic, all-encompassing ‘Same.’
9. Yet again, she is being an incorrigible arsehole on Twitter and is using it as a forum on which to discuss personal and private things about her son’s health and well-being and whether or not he’ll have chance to sit the 11-plus. Because she can’t afford a tutor, OF COURSE.
I assure you no nepotism was involved, but I do mean to make her my pirate wife and we will sail the high seas together.Recap of thread #65
1. Honorary double-doctorate Jack to the rescue! She’s currently putting together a book on austerity and hunger in Britain, especially focusing on the last ten years. She wants people to tell their stories of their poverty and hunger hardship. She will reply, ‘Same’ to any and all stories of poverty, such as ...
2. Putting on her heating in bloody August. ‘Absolutely ridiculous.’ Yes, it is, Jack. Strewth.
3. She was angry at people who exploited loopholes in the Eat Out to Help Out scheme. Screaming as an ex-waitress, and someone who went for two separate meals on the same night, don’t you know.
4. She mavericked a carbonara dish with some ‘melted’ halloumi, some parmentier potatoes, some griddled courgettes, a salad, some bean pasta with hand-podded (as opposed to foot-podded?) beans, and boiled mushrooms in a mint, parsley and basil sauce. Ooft.
5. We also got to see the fruits of her spoiled greengage jam (but not the cheap wet ham, sadly).
6. She asked for some recommendations for her reading/reference list for her poverty book. No, not that one, she’s got that. Yes, she’s got that one too, you fool. Three copies of it as well. And she did a cover quote for that one, what are you talking about, cretins!
7. She’s been given a kombucha scoby by a friend but really doesn’t want it, so thanks a lot friend, she’s now going to bitch about it on Twitter.
8. She’s created a poll that asks parents of school-age children what their biggest concern is about going back. Don’t worry though, whatever answer or concern that you as a parent may have, Jack will reply with the comforting, empathetic, all-encompassing ‘Same.’
9. Yet again, she is being an incorrigible arsehole on Twitter and is using it as a forum on which to discuss personal and private things about her son’s health and well-being and whether or not he’ll have chance to sit the 11-plus. Because she can’t afford a tutor, OF COURSE.
For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info):
Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack v Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/
Thread no 31 is the infamous thread on which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on page 17.
For anyone wanting to re-live the glory days of her 2 week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL): Threads 2-9
*** JACKISMS ***
Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:
Yes, absolutely x
Some other favourite Jack quotes:
‘Babe, same’
‘I did a chaos’
‘My maverick brain’
‘My sad little face’
‘I’m BUSY’
‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’
‘I laughed up a lung’
One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. *She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts)*
To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time.
Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that.
Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)
We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.
During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.
Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.
Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ‘Now fuck off’. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to fuck off, simply paying homage to Jack’s own genteel humour.
Also:
Here is a link to Jack’s Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering ‘Terrible!’ on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ‘s hilarious Glossary of Jack.
We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack v Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/
Thread no 31 is the infamous thread on which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on page 17.
For anyone wanting to re-live the glory days of her 2 week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL): Threads 2-9
*** JACKISMS ***
Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:
Yes, absolutely x
Some other favourite Jack quotes:
‘Babe, same’
‘I did a chaos’
‘My maverick brain’
‘My sad little face’
‘I’m BUSY’
‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’
‘I laughed up a lung’
One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. *She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts)*
To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time.
Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that.
Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)
We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.
During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.
Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.
Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ‘Now fuck off’. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to fuck off, simply paying homage to Jack’s own genteel humour.
Also:
- She grew up in a 5 bed (mortgaged/owned) house
- She got a £4.5k Omega watch for her 21st
- Her dad's a fucking LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
- Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jack’s words: ‘She [Louisa] left’.
- Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
- She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
- During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. ‘It just does.’
Here is a link to Jack’s Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering ‘Terrible!’ on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ‘s hilarious Glossary of Jack.
We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
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