The lack of self awareness is painful
Jack Monroe #65 Green gages and ham
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The lack of self awareness is painful
Easy mistake to make, mixing up the words ‘kind of’ with the words ‘nothing like’.
Yep, would also make sense that she hasn't named the type of potato she supposedly used ... a ready meal is a ready meal after all.Nah Waitrose I reckon. Look, they even have the sprig of rosemary that hers does...
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The rats tail was more apt than we first suspectedAs predicted.
She does use simple ingredients but I think many fellow cooks would critique her presentation again back to master chef Michel and Monica are very fussy about their plate.
She often talks about her unique and fancy plates to serve on and yes that good but Michel used to pick up on that and say you have used this nice plate but just chucked the food on there with little care, or words to that effect along with him and Monica looking at each other
with their wtf faces, during plating up.
I only watch the professional ones who are in fact chefs and cooks like her ( most have worked in a busy kitchen though) wanting to further their career. It always astounds me how many of them struggle to debone a fish.
Maybe she should go on celebrity Masterchef?
This would be incredible. Jack's ego meets judges who actually know their tit and won't be batted away by a few angry tweets.
Please please please please
Pouting with her poutine damn autocorrect
And she would have said rosemary
and no mention of rosemary from the garden either.
I am too invested in this, not that I care. Keeps the mind active better than a wordsearch, or Countdown
The parmentier tatties are the *exact* same as the supermarket ones. Possibly with a bit of dressing to clumsily try and hide this fact.
What to do when your food pics barely scrape past 500.....
I believe when Jack was on benefits she was what you would term under employed. She had her own business, from recollection crafts.
I don’t think she was on income support during that time. Her book is apparently going to be part memoir part vehicle for change?
How exactly? I’ve just spent the last 3 years on universal credit. Both out of work and in. In work every pound I earned I got 63p deduction from my UC
I was in a word broke. I get that benefits are supposed to be a stop gap but it is often reality that you can end up on UC for years. On a pittance. There are millions of people in in work poverty. Jack knows this.
Do I want to hear about her unscrewing her lightbulbs and her son saying more bread more jam please for the thousandth time? No I don’t.
As for the absolute nerve of her saying she’s going to need support due to having to dig deep and relive memories! off you actually jog!
No one is making you write this book you idiot. It’s quite clear that no one is interested in the slop she’s producing and now she’s going on poverty safari again.
I’ve worked shifts over the last 3 years because of the UC taper that meant out of every 7.50 an hour I earned I kept 2.33. She acts like she’s the only person who ever had to turn their heating off or make tough choices
When was the last time she ran a home on 317 quid a month? She could be out there advocating for universal basic income. Not fannying around interviewing people in poverty
I saw that she was talking to Charlotte Hughes on Twitter yesterday. I believe Charlotte is in Sale, one of the pilot areas for uc. For the past few years she’s been out there on the sharp end helping people who are on UC. Outside job centres. In the pouring rain. She’s on UC herself I believe.
I also watched the clip of her tell the Scottish Greens that she likes Scotland and wants us to stay. The actual arrogance of someone rocking up to a conference of a party that’s pro independence and saying that.
Writing her book is going to be harrowing. No it isn’t. She is an absolute clown of an individual.
I think this annoyed me coming in the same week where someone who is in the limelight announced that she has stage 4 cancer. She could be sitting at home feeling sorry for herself but isn’t. Jack on the other hand is preparing herself for the harrowing task of writing a book.
I don’t think she was on income support during that time. Her book is apparently going to be part memoir part vehicle for change?
How exactly? I’ve just spent the last 3 years on universal credit. Both out of work and in. In work every pound I earned I got 63p deduction from my UC
I was in a word broke. I get that benefits are supposed to be a stop gap but it is often reality that you can end up on UC for years. On a pittance. There are millions of people in in work poverty. Jack knows this.
Do I want to hear about her unscrewing her lightbulbs and her son saying more bread more jam please for the thousandth time? No I don’t.
As for the absolute nerve of her saying she’s going to need support due to having to dig deep and relive memories! off you actually jog!
No one is making you write this book you idiot. It’s quite clear that no one is interested in the slop she’s producing and now she’s going on poverty safari again.
I’ve worked shifts over the last 3 years because of the UC taper that meant out of every 7.50 an hour I earned I kept 2.33. She acts like she’s the only person who ever had to turn their heating off or make tough choices
When was the last time she ran a home on 317 quid a month? She could be out there advocating for universal basic income. Not fannying around interviewing people in poverty
I saw that she was talking to Charlotte Hughes on Twitter yesterday. I believe Charlotte is in Sale, one of the pilot areas for uc. For the past few years she’s been out there on the sharp end helping people who are on UC. Outside job centres. In the pouring rain. She’s on UC herself I believe.
I also watched the clip of her tell the Scottish Greens that she likes Scotland and wants us to stay. The actual arrogance of someone rocking up to a conference of a party that’s pro independence and saying that.
Writing her book is going to be harrowing. No it isn’t. She is an absolute clown of an individual.
I think this annoyed me coming in the same week where someone who is in the limelight announced that she has stage 4 cancer. She could be sitting at home feeling sorry for herself but isn’t. Jack on the other hand is preparing herself for the harrowing task of writing a book.
In all honesty if I saw this cat on the street I would take them to the vet, there is clearly something seriously wrong w their nose? I’m glad she’s come to peace with it by making up some whimsical story about naughty field mice but for those of us living in the real world it’s clearly quite distressing to see.
That would be my TV moment of the decade (I know we're only at the start, but I'm confident nothing in the next 9 years would top it).
Just imagine...
John and Gregg: "So what are you making for us today Jack?"
Jack: "Well I'm just kinda winging it, just chucking in a few things and seeing how it turns out, I'm confident it'll be perfect because I've learned to trust my maverick instincts. I'm so nervous and I've got loads to do, so I'd like to just crack on if that's OK with you, thankyou."
John and Gregg: "OK, but presentation has been a bit of an issue for you in the past. Can you make sure that your dish has restaurant-quality appearance for our panel of judges today?"
Jack: "Yes, absolutely x"
Later...
*frantic music*
John and Gregg: "Two minutes for your starter Jack."
Jack: "duck OFF, I'M BUSY"
Later still...
*India Fisher narration*
"Food blogger Jack Monroe has made a salad of wilted frozen spinach, hand-podded borlotti beans and tinned pineapple chunks, topped with grated Spam, malted milk biscuit dust and bottled lemon juice. For her main course, she has prepared a cassoulet of rinsed baked beans, tinned macaroni cheese and salmon paste, served with a fondant standard potato, a Biscoff spread reduction, a lime marmalade puree and a greengage foam, topped with crumbled sage & onion stuffing and plenty of black pepper."
Jack: *proceeds to launch into her poverty story after bringing her dishes to the judges*
Judges: Thank you Jack, if you could just leave us to taste the food...actually, on second thought, could you take it with you please."
Wasn’t her last book part memoir, part inedible slop? There is no need to include your back story in every book you write, just like there being no need to reel off your entire CV every time you introduce yourself. Accept that you aren’t poor any more, and that it’s ok to move on. Oh, and take a proper break! Maybe use the time to learn some fundamental cooking skills?
Years ago a cat of mine, don’t ask me how he did it. He ended up with a triangle shape on his head, fur had come off, it was bleeding, I assume that another cat had caught him with his claw. I phoned the vet and they told me to try sudocreme. They told me they use it often. It worked, healed the wound and in a couple of days you wouldn’t have known anything was amiss.
The cat needs some animal friendly antiseptic on that nose at the very least.
The cat needs some animal friendly antiseptic on that nose at the very least.
Brilliant post, you’ve nailed exactly why she pisses me off so much. Her world starts and ends with her.
For someone so quick to rush herself to a doctor with every imagined ailment, Jack seems reluctant to seek professional advice for her pets 
I love what you have said here.
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