Jack Monroe #64 One hand refreshing Twitter, and the other one playing the piano

[GrunkaLunka]

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Google translate. "They don't want me back, I was... terrible"

 

[Starsanddaggers]

Why is she so nasty

 

[GothPrincess]

Please recommend me a bin.
No none of those.
Or those.
Nope. Nothing any of you recommend.
Huff.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I didn't realise she has ADHD. She's never mentioned it before.

 

[lilamay]

Found the perfect cap for R Jackie

 

[colouredlines]

Literally everything she's made in months has been the first thing she's cooked that makes her feel like herself again. I'm pretty sure it's been going on since at least the mayo days.

Also: people have been telling her for eight years now that long grain rice does not make a risotto. That's fine. It's a different dish. But if you invited me for fish and chips, and instead of a battered white fillet you gave me steamed salmon, I would raise an eyebrow. Words have meanings, Jack, and your ignorance about other countries' cuisine is a fucking weird hill to want to die on.

 

[GrunkaLunka]

Good morning canal of filthy trolls. I have woken up refreshed and cured of my Jack Monroe pity. So my question for this morning is.... Did she post that she was travelling 40 miles for meals at 2 restaurants and also give a preview of her outfit in the hope she'd get papped??? Or was it just a message to Louisa?

The incident on the train, I honestly don't understand why she tweets stuff like that. Obviously it must've been really scary and upsetting (if it happened ) but surely you would text a friend or family member and tell them, not just shout it into the abyss. It's also quite an upsetting and triggery topic to be randomly blurting out.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Is that okay with you? (deleted)

 

[Silver Linings]

*ducks*

ps sorry they’re enormous.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Hi Jack, about time you came up with a new barely-concealed-misogynistic name for us saaaaad little hausfraus/coven of mavens because we reclaimed that shit

 

[LennyBriscoe]

She surely is a TrainTroubleMagnet ...

This is so true! If she’s not falling under it, she’s kicking shins of unsuspecting men who bid her good morning, or she’s publicly slating a rail firm for seating people too close together and now she’s witnessing an assault.

She’s leaving....on the midnight train to trauma

I’d get the bus love.

 

[Silver Linings]

The most relentlessly negative person in the UK has the nerve to retweet this. Wow.

 

[NP]

They’ll be posing in the hammock next.

Or on the sideboard.

Feels like a Shaggy song.

Jack caught them on the counter (It was beans)
Saw them hangin' on the hammock (It was beans)
She even had them in the shower (It was beans)
She even caught them on camera (It was beans)

 

[crystaleyesd]

Hmmm, she's doing an awful lot of 'influencing' (with most of it not being actual influencing) - Boy hat, those bags, Harvester, Biscoff, this cat carrier thing. Is she just hoping one of these brands will swoop in with a sponsorship deal? I feel like she'll run out of things to promote soon; not sure her follower demographic will relate to:

What's your favourite position to lounge in your £399 hammock?
What drawers do you use for what in your Cotswold Company sideboard?
Which setting is your favourite on your Dyson fan?
Which shelf of your smeg do you keep your yellow sticker chicken?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

And look what she's faved View attachment 224312

Omfg the cheek of this, she’s spent more time chatting about the harvester salad bar and stupid biscoff than anything to do with this campaign!

 

[blurstoftimes]

My sister and I were talking about weird neighbours recently, she said she used to live below a really strange guy and looked him up on Twitter and discovered he had tweeted multiple ‘funny anecdote’ stories about her that were completely made up while she was living there! One example is a tweet that said something along the lines of ‘my New downstairs neighbour just borrowed a hammer from me, and said ‘it’s great to finally be neighbours with a REAL man’ and then some self deprecating comment etc. My sister says she remembers borrowing the hammer but said absolutely nothing close to that! And there were loads more that were weird embellishments on the truth or just completely made up stories. The funniest thing is that the guy is a blue ticker on twitter now!

This is how I imagine Jack to be on twitter - something very ordinary happens and she immediately finds a way to spin it into something tweet worthy (or not) to allow her to humble brag

 

[Pocahontas]

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She needs to post these genius ideas to British Goop on Instagram. Comedy gold.

 

[Dustye]

Fraus, I have a terrible confession to make. Many years ago, when I was but a fresh faced lesbian trying to make a name for myself as a hip young thing in the Big City, I owned and regularly wore a BOY London t shirt.

I think I bought it because I thought it was witty in a naff 'look how cool and androgynous I am' way.

I'll see myself out...

 

[edinburghcastle]

I'm surprised she even bothered with the train. She should've just spun her big hat round like a helicoptor and got home that way.

 

[HarderFaster]

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Does she not realise how fucking crap it makes her own recently published book look that she hasn't cooked any of the recipes from it during her "burnout", instead choosing to eat biscuits? Why would anyone buy it now, knowing she doesn't even believe in her own product?

Also that risotto looks like jellied brains on a plate.