Jack used to use a lot of tinned potatoes for all sorts of things. Anyway, she said you could roast them. Back when I was a fan, I tried this. Reader, do not try to roast tinned potatoes. They do not roast. They explode as well. And are grim.
Jack Monroe #62 A piss-poor cook with bad manners and no decent underwear
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Thank you so Pocahontas for this, Pocahontas (had to go back to check the wording of this after the revelation a while ago that we'd been quoting it wrong). I've been having a SEVERELY terrible past few days (the WORST few days that anyone could possibly have of course) and this has had me absolutely HOOTING this morning. Every time I think about it I start hooting again.
Now duck off.
The most idiotic Jack advice I took was using sage and onion stuffing powder as thickner in a stew. It made everything go congealed and slimy. Safe to say I had to chuck the whole stew out and waste precious ingredients. I was an impressionable and broke young frau who didn't know better!
If L was playing look what you're missing, she'd have her house deeds in one hand and a credit card in the other.
Haha, I was looking for this recipe (is it just grated mushrooms on top of cacio e pepe?) and I found this - check out number 2, he's made his own LINGREENIE (thankfully he actually cooks the greens first) https://food52.com/blog/23798-jamie-oliver-pasta-five-ingredients-quick-easy-weeknight-dinner
ETA just noticed that this article is a year and a half old, wonder if Jackie saw it before her This Morning apperance.
Good morning!
As requested, here's the rewritten lyrics for Creep. I'm so sorry Thom, but it had to be done.
CREEP
When you were here before
Couldn’t cook you shepherd’s pie
You said you were vegan
The mince made you cry
You liked my peach curry
But it gave you wind
I think I'm so special
Waitrose veg is on special
But I’m a twit
I’m on Twitter
What the hell are these unwashed beans?
I am NOT A CHEF
I don’t care if it’s Bosch
I wanna have a Smeg
I want Cotswold sideboards
I want Nigella to hold
I want you to notice
My Patreon account
I’m so fuckin’ special
Send dosh to my paypal
But I'm a creep
With unruly labia
Send the trolls to fight my wars
I wish I was hausfrau, ohhhh, ohhhh
Now duck off….
As requested, here's the rewritten lyrics for Creep. I'm so sorry Thom, but it had to be done.
CREEP
When you were here before
Couldn’t cook you shepherd’s pie
You said you were vegan
The mince made you cry
You liked my peach curry
But it gave you wind
I think I'm so special
Waitrose veg is on special
But I’m a twit
I’m on Twitter
What the hell are these unwashed beans?
I am NOT A CHEF
I don’t care if it’s Bosch
I wanna have a Smeg
I want Cotswold sideboards
I want Nigella to hold
I want you to notice
My Patreon account
I’m so fuckin’ special
Send dosh to my paypal
But I'm a creep
With unruly labia
Send the trolls to fight my wars
I wish I was hausfrau, ohhhh, ohhhh
Now duck off….
Re Louisa and Allegra, they both behave in the same way towards Jack post-breakup. Allegra tweeted congrats on the DKL gig and said "long overdue" (because she knew Jack was desperate to be on TV) and Louisa still sees her as a "friend". But both women keep her at arm's length. It's like they feel sorry for her, but they know she's toxic and for their own health need to keep well away.
He has also called it green spaghetti, no stupid combining words to make it sound maverick. He has called one sausage carbonara, not sausonara, or some other such stupid childish name.
Makes me a bit sad, re. her cat post, that huge amounts of her followers have posted replies with photos of their absolutely beautiful cats, and she's not bothered to reply to or like a single one. If you liked her enough to want to share your pet with her, a like in response would probably give you a decent boost.
P.S. @IndigoStar you are an ARTIST and words aren't sufficient in response to your post
P.S. @IndigoStar you are an ARTIST and words aren't sufficient in response to your post
Haha, thanks, I just have a twisted mindP.S. @IndigoStar you are an ARTIST and words aren't sufficient in response to your post
Clearly you’re lost, squiggle, since Jackie has neither.
I don't get the late night cat twitter post. That's the sort of tit your text your mate. Not twitter. I could have honestly lived the rest of my life happily without knowing her cat woke her up as could the rest of the world.Makes me a bit sad, re. her cat post, that huge amounts of her followers have posted replies with photos of their absolutely beautiful cats, and she's not bothered to reply to or like a single one. If you liked her enough to want to share your pet with her, a like in response would probably give you a decent boost.
P.S. @IndigoStar you are an ARTIST and words aren't sufficient in response to your post
She's sooo boring!!
The only thing tinned potatoes are good for is being fried in a frying pan imo. Some of her tips and tricks don't half lack common sense. I'm still not over the whole "herbs are all the same so you might as well use any of them in any dish, won't affect it at all" (paraphrased, obvs) debacle
Haaa I tried this too, with equally terrible results. In hindsight, maybe she was trying to offer up her version of Nigella’s cheat roasties where she fries gnocchi (Rapid Roastinis)?
Tinned potatoes make me feel ill. As do powdered ones like smash etc.
@IndigoStar and @Pocahontas , you are genii of the highest order! Working away this week, so only time for a cursory catch up, but wtf is all this biscoff and custard cream tit? Spoon biscoff out of jar. Dunk cuzzie creams in your tea, but stop arsefarting about with them.
I am very rarely one to speculate (and I am so sorry, I don’t know how to do spoilers), but I am one of a rare breed of gent who had an ED in my twenties. All the signs are there, I really hope she’s getting help, because posting this much about food while she’s wasting away is concerning
SPOILER: ED CHAT
I am very rarely one to speculate (and I am so sorry, I don’t know how to do spoilers), but I am one of a rare breed of gent who had an ED in my twenties. All the signs are there, I really hope she’s getting help, because posting this much about food while she’s wasting away is concerning
SPOILER: ED CHAT
That picture reminds me of @heretoreaditall2019 ’s frankly hilarious experiment with grating mushrooms and that she only managed to get a ‘small yield off one portobello’
I used to work beside someone who would put cold tinned potatoes on a buttered roll, laggered them in salt and brown sauce and wolfed it down like his life depended on it. Actual boak central.
Christ I’m a dick. The spoiler appeared at the end of the message. I’m off to flagellate myself with tinned potatoes and rinsed minced beans. Really sorry if my last message was triggering for anyone, I’m just genuinely a technological fuckwit. X
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