Jack Monroe #61 Complete, made up, fanciful nuclear-level bollocks

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LavaFlake

I think she'd be number one to begin with, then the mask would slip and her true posho colours would come out.
 
Reactions: 17

Silver Linings

https://giphy.com/ORmaTw4Qv8Ahy ETA - soz for what he’s saying but she is literally so like that character. What a dickhead.

I really hate her sanctimonius sarcasm when she says #notanad #notspon when she bites companies hands off to shill stuff for them. Plus she’s always happy enough to seek out their @.
 
Reactions: 48

Emmapism

Yeah I've done that. And that. Oh and that too. That thing you're a specialist in? Done it mate!

No wonder she called herself Jack.

Jack of all trades master of none.
 
Reactions: 37

LavaFlake

So she did karate from what aged 12-22? How did she fit that in with ballet? What about all the odd jobs she had? SO MANY QUESTIONS that I know she won't be able to answer due to being a pathological liar x
 
Reactions: 45

Oofadoofa

It’s the small details, too, that are hard to miss. She couldn’t just be pregnant but heavily pregnant. Like, heroic effort Jack Norris. It’s multi-layered bullshitting, lie on top of lie.
 
Reactions: 42

People-huv-tae-know

She is so gleeful about her son's broken arm I've read on here in Jack's own words that she felt her son hindered her career. Either on here or mumsnet there was a post about how she wanted a baby and got one. Earlier today in this thread a post stating she was an out lesbian when she got pregnant. But again in Jack's own cloying words she had a relationship with the boy's father. All these inconsistencies are mind boggling. I wonder if there is a nasty secret we don't know about Jack, the real reason why SB's dad has majority custody. Just speculating though. As a mother I have never been gleeful about any accidents my children have had so I find her attitude extremely odd.
 
Reactions: 28

People-huv-tae-know

Oofadoofa said:
It’s the small details, too, that are hard to miss. She couldn’t just be pregnant but heavily pregnant. Like, heroic effort Jack Norris. It’s multi-layered bullshitting, lie on top of lie.
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Perfectly put. Even the sports, ballet, tennis and karate, not to mention the swimming. She can't stop herself.
 
Reactions: 16

ChickenPorridge

She should release her own pack of Top Trumps. I just remembered the time somebody "caught" her giving the talk on her tippy toes. Oh! Haha! I've been caught! Somebody sneakily took this full length photo of me so here's my hilarious explanation. I am actually a fully trained ballerina of 15 years and have superhuman toe strength. Once they start to weaken, I know I have talked long enough. Years of ballet lessons, karate lessons, swimming lessons among other things? Not bad for wee Working Class Jack from the block
 
Reactions: 42

Saint_clemmie

Marmalade Atkins said:
Vigorous sex.

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Sorry I’m whizzing through time to argue her point without reading the rest of the thread but doesn’t this contradict everything she’s said about being freakishly strong because of all her fire fighter training? Not to mention the many times she’s gone on about using exercise to deal with social media, yep talking about that CK bralett photo!

etd- and YES @LavaFlake that fancy rowing machine!
 
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Reactions: 14
M

moldwarp

LavaFlake said:
What about her expensive rowing machine that she absolutely loved? Or the time she did 10 crunches every time she read a nasty tweet?
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indeed. Or has she forgotten a few years ago in her trans phase when she wouldn’t shut up about how much she loved weightlifting?

it really shows how much contempt Jack has for her fans, imo, that she feels she can lie and change her stories so much but should never get pulled up on it. Her fans must believe whatever Jack wants them to believe on any given day and be grateful for it too.
 
Reactions: 28

TheDragonWithAFlagon

My mother was.

Particularly when they weren't the ones she had directly and deliberately inflicted, as they gave her a reason to say 'See! S/he did it AT SCHOOL!' and persuaded the social workers to give her the benefit of the doubt.

She would absolutely tell a tale like that.
 
Reactions: 22
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