Jack Monroe #61 Complete, made up, fanciful nuclear-level bollocks

[MancBee]

For those of you that have shown such kindness about my cancer/operation. I've just had a phone consultation (a week late, but they are under such pressure) and I don't have to have chemo this time. They will arrange for a further examination under anaesthetic in about 3 months.

Happy, happy, days. The consultant was so positive, I am just so relieved. The pain is subsiding from the Op as well.
Thanks again for all your kind wishes. Shielding these past months has been so difficult and your sympathetic words have helped.
Sorry for off topic, hope I'm allowed this one.

 

[Abie Seedy]

Now, you can’t just come in here and tell us she’s a friend of your friends, and not give us any stories

As I said, I didn't ever meet her. I wouldn't call the others my friends (not exactly), but they did have direct contact with her. She wasn't a major topic of conversation, but I did ask what she was like, because I was vaguely fascinated by her. (Even then, I had my own theories.) The gist is that she was/is a manipulative, entitled nutter. Unstable. Mad. Deeply unpleasant unless she wanted something. No one had a good word to say about her. In other words, precisely what we've all surmised for ourselves.

I also think there's another thing here. I can't substantiate this, but I think it may well be true. Someone on another thread asked what her partners found attractive about her. I think I can sum up the process. I've known people like this and I can suss them out pretty easily.

Initially very flirtatious, rapidly turning hotly (and adventurously) sexual. Love-bombing, which is hard to resist. 'Never felt like this before' etc. It's ALL about the Other Party. Life is bliss, for just long enough to have the Other Party fall in love, hard. Cohabitation happens far too quickly, followed by plans for 'Together Forever'. Then there's a slight vulnerability (probably one of her physical issues), making her a little unwell. The Other Party lavishes her with love and care. She bounces back. Then a small meltdown, probably about internet bullying ('It's not fair, you KNOW I only try to help people'). The Other Party leaps to her defence. This pattern continues, slowly at first, then the physical and mental meltdowns pile on thick and fast. The Other Party finds their friends unwilling to hang out with them as a couple and they start making excuses for her, eventually changing their lives to accommodate hers. In time they realise that she is an attention vortex and there is nothing whatsoever in it for them.

She's quite simply a vampire, draining the energy and life out of everyone she encounters. Even us.

 

[help i need some help!]

FFS 'Nick has deleted his twitter account. Who knows what he's going through but Jack and Emma saw him off. It make me so angry to see people treated like this by her and her minions.

 

[Alansbigplate]

As I feared, I live with the male version of Cackie. We are out of coffee so he has mixed a chicken and a veg stock cube together and declared it delicious!! SEND HELP!View attachment 214112

you should sell prints of this: ‘stock cubes, August’

 

[Silver Linings]

‘My need for validation will pass.’

(Old Rose - It’s been eighty four years gif)

 

[JoyceDivision]

All the same colour palette and nothing looks appetising.

Yup.

what really rinses my beans is, she joined Foodim an hour so after me, posts inedible slop and doesn’t interact yet look at her followers compared to mine. Everyone is fawning over her in her comments saying how great everything looks and I’m just like

Not to blow smoke up my own arse but I think my food looks marginally more edible?

 

[HarderFaster]

Sorry but I disagree with this. It is perfectly possible to eat junk and be slim. I'm naturally slim, and sometimes I eat family packs of crisps, popcorn etc. Some slim people do.

I think we have to be aware of getting angry with Jack just because it’s her. Slim people existing and posting about their food isn’t an insult to anyone else.

I think she’s trying and failing to look funny and relatable by being self-deprecating, and showing how “rubbish” she is by eating junk instead of proper meals. It doesn’t come across as bragging to me. I don’t think she’s bright enough to be subtly winding up sufferers of EDs. Normally when she lies or tries to present herself in a certain way she’s as subtle as a brick. Plus it’s just her usual exaggerated way of talking.

The key word here is "sometimes". Sometimes you eat large portions of junk food. I would bet that the majority of the time, you do not. I'm also going to make the assumption you're fairly active, in one way or the other.

Over the past few days, however, Jack has posted about eating three quarters of a stodgy, buttery pudding, living off M&Ms, eating biscoff spread off a spoon, having second and third portions of everything. If she's telling the truth about what she's consuming, it constitutes a binge in my eyes. Then she's also humblebragging about how much she hates exercise and doesn't do any (other than the inexplicable 25k steps a day... ) which is very triggering for people who have form for overexercising to compensate for their binges.

I'm not trying to be arsey about this, but it's quite clear from your post that you don't have issues with bingeing. It's an incredibly complex condition because, unlike with restrictive EDs, the effect is to gain weight and thus you also earn the disdain of a fatphobic society: you aren't seen as legitimately unwell, rather greedy and lazy. So when posters here are saying that they're upset by the way Jack is framing her food intake, coupled with her explicit disclosure of suffering from EDs, it's because she is exploiting being a thin, visible woman and getting ass pats and exposure for being such a foodie, without any acknowledgement of the weirdness of this - someone recovered from an ED would be more sensitive to this (and I know it's Jack and she's a massive prick so we shouldn't expect anything except self-serving nonsense but hope springs eternal).

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

Next title suggestion?

a piss-poor 'cook' with bad manners and no decent underwear.

 

[Bookweevil]

Exercise: How Fucking Unlucky Am I?
A think-piece by Mack Jonroe

I can’t swim because if I don’t move my limbs, I sink like a stone.

I can’t run for toffee because as soon as I stop putting one foot in front of the other I don’t go anywhere.

I’m a rotten tennis player because if I don’t stick the racquet out, I miss every single ball.

I’m a piss poor cyclist because as soon as I stop turning the pedals with my feet, the bike mysteriously grinds to a halt.

I’m crap at archery because as soon as I stop releasing the bowstring, the arrow won’t budge.
Etc etc....

 

[Hellybelly]

Twenty thousand steps on average.

View attachment 214623

She's just got an answer for everything hasn't she. She's been everywhere, done everything, has already met everyone already... God she's just so damned tedious isn't she. She's like the spawn of daddy pig and miss rabbit, a bit of an expert who does everything

 

[colouredlines]

She has an answer for absolutely everything anyone tweets at her. It’s never “oh that’s interesting to know!” it’s ALWAYS some comment to prove she’s smarter and knew better all along.

I was thinking this yesterday in her exercise tweet frenzy. Never "oh thanks for the suggestion but badminton doesn't appeal", it's got to be "I was All-Essex U15 champion don't you know until my coach hit on me and then I was banned for calling it a shuttlepussy, I can never go back"

 

[busylass]

Fire service.

View attachment 214617

I believe the fitness requirements to be a call handler is brutal.

 

[LavaFlake]

Choose 3 therapists on speed dial. Choose gifted Chanel lipstick. Choose AirPods. Choose Rigby & Peller bras. Choose bottled lemon juice. Choose inedible slop. Choose 2 smart phones and 40 chargers. Choose Five Guys. Choose spunking £3000 on the Cotsworld Company stock. Choose alphabetically ordered medicines with no expiry date.

Choose your working class past.

Choose Jack.

 

[Silver Linings]

Question from a tattle NEWBIE... . Who closes threads and reopens? Just wondering how it works!
Thanks and sorry for going off topic, intruged by recap incoming

VIP members don the robes, another VIP appears to turn two keys in sync like a nuclear submarine, then a retina scan is taken and the thread poofs out into the world.

(Old members follow some easy steps and create a new thread with a link and ask admin to close the old)

 

[Silver Linings]

(Jennifer Lawrence or Steve Carrel doing this - gif)

 

[Bookweevil]

Don’t we all sink in water when we stop moving our limbs? Isn’t it called ‘stopping swimming’, one of the major causes of drowning?

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Emmapism]

I'm sorry no. I'm an active person and most days will do 10k. 20k I might do if I've gone for a long walk on a Saturday. But every day? No.

What are you doing Jackie? Are you river dancing around Southend? Ya fucking melt.

 

[Pocahontas]

I just want to chat about fucking puddings PLEASE is now going to be my new personal mirror mantra.

 

[Silver Linings]

I normally hate those @_DHOTYA accounts but please someone tag them under Jackie's bullshit post. What probably happened was her son sang or hummed along to a few of the riffs. Why does every interaction or incident she has have to be zany/funny/whacky?!

She was featured on their (nasty) twitter account once about an SB tweet that most likely didn’t happen. I looked for it once, somewhat pointlessly as of course it was deleted!

Also, Jack Monroe #62 Creep.

(Insert @heretoreaditall2019 ‘s trying not to laugh man.)