What the hell does 'claves' mean? If you're using a word which doesn't make sense on line 2 give up the damn poem!
If I was a rich single Twitter lesbian down south the thought of the drama and the food Jack brings would have me running for the hills , who needs that?
Psst Jackie. Did you mean cleaves?
Hahaha I thought this as well - I think she means "cleaves" which has the double (and dichotomous) meaning of splitting apart or sticking to something like glue. It would be quite clever in the context of stubborn garlic smell combined with the, um, parting action performed by the fingers of lesbians during sex but as per usual, Jack was too arrogant to check whether she had the right word before bounding ahead and publishing her derivative word vomit.
I thought maybe she meant cloves?! Seeing as she's like garlic and all that
What the actual duck is that?
Fourthly, that bacon doesn't look cooked, who wants to eat big strands of raw bacon fat?
Is her alter ego Adrian Mole?
Her food photography is horrific, nothing looks remotely appetising at all. How on earth has she made money from this? Who the hell buys into this utter crap?
Yeah Mrs. Bellend showed me that on Twitter this morning. I honestly thought it was a picture of Fiddy’s catsick.
Next thread title???
Haha yes please!
You’ve got my vote!!!!
That sauce sounds remarkably like the soup my mother used to make and blend to get vegetables into my father, only hers was extremely edible. He walked though the kitchen one day when she was making his favourite dish. "I HATE celery; don't you dare ruin it with that!" "You've been eating celery in it for over 20 years, since you first tasted it".
My god that is truly atrocious. And so embarrassing! It makes no sense.
Thread title klaxon 
