Jack Monroe #579 She's essentially Scrappy-Doo in a bell jar now
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Oh what office, Jack? Tell us about the office! You mentioned an office, can you tell us more? Do you not want us to ask about THE OFFICE?
Oh she can duck off. Plenty of people I know who are in their 20s were absolutely delighted to see Fleetwood Mac on the last tour.
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Or, exactly, what you said
DHOTYA but also, duck off, the yoof on TikTok have been doing tutorials on how to do Pamela messy bun/curtain fringe for ages now
LJC the inane drivel she’s spouting on a dying app for last-gasp engagement. Get a friend, Jack, this is beyond pitiful.
Just so I'm clear, Jack ran round an office, jiggling her boobs at people? And this has apparently not ended in a complaint to HR?
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Why does she try to age herself in such bizarre ways?! £2.50 for a gig compared with say £100 today, yep the fake yoot in the fake office might have been shocked if they existed, and they definitely don't. But £2 for the cinema is hardly going to spin their head off their shoulders now is it? Just utterly pointless, like her.
feel sorry for Jack, I'm 5 years younger than her and we used to go to the Saturday morning cheap showing for a quid
Toot toot Fraulien,
Office Jack (I feel for her poor colleagues) brought me back to Tattle like an Urban fox to her outdoor soup parcels.
Did we ever consider the dead pet picture was in fact non-edible and snipped from a treasured photo? Edible paper was just a cover story for a macabre, fiendish breakfast bowl?
Many years ago there was a car ad with In Between Days on it. Someone in the office I worked in said have you heard that cool new song on that advert. I thought about my original vinyl copy of the Head on the Door and felt old. Am I guest.
She's just holding back all the hot takes she's working on for 4th July. And when she hits, boy will we all be put in our place.
See all this chat with the young uns?
Just warming UP!
She's like that horse doing a little canter toward the starting gate. Just plodding along. Not giving too much away then "under starters orders"...and you won't see her for bleeping dust. Shes Desert Orchid hammering down the last furlong and won't we all look like stupid sods then...
Yes we will
But come 5th of July, whatever the outcome in Redcar or whatever you've put in your notebook...that Patreon is still dodgy.
And so is she.
Matters not a jot who gets the keys to Downing St. She's still a theiving little bleeder!
See all this chat with the young uns?
Just warming UP!
She's like that horse doing a little canter toward the starting gate. Just plodding along. Not giving too much away then "under starters orders"...and you won't see her for bleeping dust. Shes Desert Orchid hammering down the last furlong and won't we all look like stupid sods then...
Yes we will
But come 5th of July, whatever the outcome in Redcar or whatever you've put in your notebook...that Patreon is still dodgy.
And so is she.
Matters not a jot who gets the keys to Downing St. She's still a theiving little bleeder!
I'd rather Fleetwood Mac than Jack.
If an app was persistently inexplicably deleting my content (which [I claim] is diarising the important moments* of my life) I guess I might do more complaining than “oh well”. Anyone would think it was all lies.
*imitating Pamela Anderson for some made-up workmates
My Twitter app is running very slowly so I might finally have to update it to X. I'll still call it Twitter though
Jack is the kind of ‘office’ colleague who makes me glad I can work from home
Patsy Cline died in 1963, you bellend.
also in this series: Jack explains to the office Zoomer that back in her day Starburst used to be called Opal Fruits, you could buy cigs at the age of 16, you could smoke inside in pubs and hunt foxes on horseback
Totally agree with this. My first proper gig in 1991 (Ned’s Atomic Dustbin, Aston Villa Leisure Centre) was £8. I saw bands throughout the 90s, usually when they were in their ascendancy, and tickets were generally £8-10 for Nirvana, Jane’s Addiction, Dinosaur Jr and the like. I did manage to see Radiohead and Manic Street Preachers for £3 but it was before or just as they’d been signed. I’ve never been to a “concert” (ahem) which was £2.50, let alone this millennium. Unless it was SB’s school orchestra, she’s a bloody liar.
Oh, and Fleetwood Mac. Would have loved to have seen them when they last played locally but I balked at £1000 a ticket. Much pov “concert going” there.
And the last time the cinema was £2 was when the one in town was closing down and me and my mates went to watch Rainman. Which was released the year she was born.
twit.
What about a Marathon bar? Eh? Eh?! Coz she’s so old! In her office full of young people!
Oh guest!
Was this when there was still rationing? Did you use gravy to paint on your tights and excite the American GIs?
Tell us more about the olden days Jack
Was this when there was still rationing? Did you use gravy to paint on your tights and excite the American GIs?
Tell us more about the olden days Jack
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