Jack Monroe #579 She's essentially Scrappy-Doo in a bell jar now

[Grifty Mc]

duck sake. I was on the phone having a conversation with a real person and was getting a flurry of Twitter notifications which I CBA to read but I assume she has done a chaos and it is easier to read here than figure out what she deletes. This better be good.
---

I don’t think she’s realised the whole “Old Before My Time” act doesn’t really work anymore when you’re 35 and look about 50.

That’s bold Geets. BOLD!

 

[HotesTilaire]

View attachment 3014769
Don’t forget she’s IN THE OFFICE

Before or after you saw Hole, Courtney Love’s band? Or Suede? Saw the fleets whilst still “in utero“?

 

[Grifty Mc]

feel sorry for Jack, I'm 5 years younger than her and we used to go to the Saturday morning cheap showing for a quid

This is the worst chaos ever but I know what happens when there is a flurry of tweets. Everyone needs to phone in sick tomorrow.
Btw who remembers orange wednesdays? Pizza express and cinema was the go to for me and my old Harold at the start of our relationship.

 

[Carefree]

I'm seeing Hozier next month (don't ask how much because it was 50p okay??) and that man can take me to church, the local dogging site, behind the stage, whatever, wherever. Poppy seeds or no. Just, yeah.

AHEM.

Anyway, my sister is about guest's age and even she doesn't do the little old lady routine in the OFFICE because there are various people there of differing ages. "In my day" chat is drier than a packet of Ryvita.

 

[HotesTilaire]

This is the worst chaos ever but I know what happens when there is a flurry of tweets. Everyone needs to phone in sick tomorrow.
Btw who remembers orange wednesdays? Pizza express and cinema was the go to for me and my old Harold at the start of our relationship.

Everyday 60? Waiting until after 7pm for free minutes, SM:TV on a Saturday morning, original Sunny D that made you glow like the Ready Brek man

 

[YerDa]

Was that it? Some sub-white-dog-poo tut and we’re done? That’s not in any way Elmo-worthy.

 

[Phillipa78]

‘Ephemeral havoc’? What the duck is she on about?

Another entry for the Jack dictionary!

If someone was wreaking ephemeral havoc on me, I'd probably call the Ghostbusters.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I do sometimes let myself down at work when I succumb to an "oooh, Matron"... Or a "Language, Timothy!"

 

[SouthendRealEstate]

Was that it? Some sub-white-dog-poo tut and we’re done? That’s not in any way Elmo-worthy.

 

[hrgrmr47]

also Taylor Swift’s latest album has a song that references Stevie Nicks and Stevie Nicks wrote a poem for the album…..

 

[bracrumbs]

Has anyone had a vienetta lately? We used to think they were posh, lmaocopter

Woolworths, Just 17, Our Price, shag bands, playing snake on your Nokia 5110

 

[lilykestrel]

She's still going, the boring bastard

The phrase "Office playlist" makes me think she's never worked in an office this decade

 

[hereforthechaos]

In honour of our pick me Fleetwood Mac chaos:
Slopsy(Gypsy)

So I'm back to the bungamansion underground
Back to the grift that I love
To a room with many sideboards and radiator flowers
Back to the slopsy that I was
To the slopsy that I was
And it all comes down to me
Well, you know that it does and
The pov strikes maybe once, maybe twice
Oh and its solar lights through the night
And you see your slopsy
You see your slopsy
To the slopsy
That remains
Her face says "give me"
With a little fear
I have no fear
Have only an eel
And if I was a child
And the child was enough
Enough for me to blog
Enough to stop me having a job
She just wants to dance away from you now
Even with tattoos
She was just a grift
And a featu is all that is left for you now
You see your slopsy, oh
You see your slopsy
Ooh ooh, ohh, ohh-oh

(And it all comes down to me)
Edited for missing )

 

[Shimmering]

In honour of our pick me Fleetwood Mac chaos:
Slopsy(Gypsy(

So I'm back to the bungamansion underground
Back to the grift that I love
To a room with many sideboards and radiator flowers
Back to the slopsy that I was
To the slopsy that I was
And it all comes down to me
Well, you know that it does and
The pov strikes maybe once, maybe twice
Oh and its solar lights through the night
And you see your slopsy
You see your slopsy
To the slopsy
That remains
Her face says "give me"
With a little fear
I have no fear
Have only an eel
And if I was a child
And the child was enough
Enough for me to blog
Enough to stop me having a job
She just wants to dance away from you now
Even with tattoos
She was just a grift
And a featu is all that is left for you now
You see your slopsy, oh
You see your slopsy
Ooh ooh, ohh, ohh-oh

(And it all comes down to me)

Please don't ruin my favourite song

 

[hrgrmr47]

I think the people in her “office” are just winding her up “surely we can’t get her to believe we’ve never heard Gold”

 

[Beggy Slopgibbon]

Has she deleted this bollocks yet? Seriously, like working in an office is a barrel of laughs, everyone sat round chatting listening to her drivelling on about the old days. Oh duck off Jack. Try 30 bloody years in the office and then see how you like it you stupid twit

 

[frostily]

She's still going, the boring bastard

View attachment 3015207
The phrase "Office playlist" makes me think she's never worked in an office this decade

Why does she keep bread crumbing transness again with the dad tit. Dad mug. Fish dad.
More like mug of a fish wife.

It’s like asking one of us “back in the day” if we knew “help” or something from the 60s.

she’s so bad at assimilating humans - she’s like googled gen z (and apparently offices) and is using a wiki how article to fit in

 

[hereforthechaos]

Please don't ruin my favourite song

It was either that or Sara

 

[Ms Biscuit]

View attachment 3014786

Jack, you bleeping donkey, you didn't have to "explain" who Pamela Anderson is to anyone. Lily James played her in the recent limited series "Pam & Tommy," and Pamela herself gets a lot of face time with the paps these days. She doesn't wear makeup anymore, which is apparently her current claim to fame.

Ah, Jack. You sad, lying twit. In the OFFICE. Just casting about for things that sound "old." Remember answering machines? Remember John Cusack rom-com movies? Wot larks, eh?

 

[Marmalade Atkins]