Jack Monroe #575 The only poverty she's interested in alleviating is her own

[CabalofBolorneaise]

I’ve never understood why she thinks there’s anything odd about liking coronation chicken as a child. It’s got a mild curry, creamy and fairly sweet flavour, it’s hardly an acquired taste and probably something most children would eat.

She’s the type of person who’d be “I ate Yorkie bars as a kid even though the other girls didn’t because they said not for girls on them!” as if she’d eaten deep fried crickets or something.

You just know that before she pivoted to him having food issues she was one of the parents who was all “Oh your SB doesn’t like broccoli and olives? Mine does, he’s got such a refined palate!” as if her parenting has anything to do with her child’s tastebuds and it isn’t perfectly normal for everyone to have things they don’t like.

 

[BeardyBap]

From that 2022 link. Why are you crossing the picket line in the first place, you cosseted bleeping head. Spoiled workshy brat. FFS what an analogy to choose.
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Just remembered that she’s written one of her searing indictments upon contemporary Britain (the rest of which is sadly lost to time) about the picket line too. She’s on it this time, not crossing it. Lyrics and (no) Music by Jack Monroe.
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Worst Billy Bragg pastiche ever. Don’t tell me guest, this happened between the wars right?

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Spoiler: Actually, this gif’s more appropriate

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Hope it’s all been worth it, Jack. View attachment 2959968View attachment 2959970View attachment 2959972View attachment 2959974View attachment 2959975View attachment 2959976View attachment 2959977View attachment 2959978View attachment 2959979View attachment 2959982

It’s hardly a surprise that you know one of the volunteers at the food bank when it’s connected to the church you grew up in, is it now?

 

[MavisBeacon]

Frauen - I have just been to a delightful garden in the south of England, where the catering hut reminded me of someone... I was concerned this might be a new job for her but can report that the food was delicious, so I think it's unlikely to be the slop pixie.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

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Worst Billy Bragg pastiche ever. Don’t tell me guest, this happened between the wars right?

Now I’ve never been on a picket line but I have seen protests on TV and they generally don’t stand there in neat little lines? So guest’s about as experienced with it as I am then

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Happy bank holiday evening you awful lot. Just homw after taking my lot out, to stop them all falling out. This half term has started off alittle bit spicy in my house. Just called in too see if the pixie peasant as graced us with something exciting or some slop. Alas i am dissapointed... she must be used to dissapointing people by now, so i doubt she will mind.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

Frauen - I have just been to a delightful garden in the south of England, where the catering hut reminded me of someone... I was concerned this might be a new job for her but can report that the food was delicious, so I think it's unlikely to be the slop pixie.
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I know where that is. It’s where my old dog ate goose poo and then threw it all up over the sofa at home. but probably still better than one of Jack’s slops.

 

[Potatoes O’Houlihan]

She’s creeping about on X again, liking posts (but not retweeting/reposting) from all her latest besties in the Labour Party down in the Southend area.

Insufferable twit

 

[MooBelle]

Be careful what you wish for. Here’s the time she “foraged” (i.e. picked something growing in her own garden) View attachment 2959721Claims she “foraged” elderflower and blackberries, actually foraged Germolene, Artex and sadness to create…

Spoiler

This. View attachment 2959725

Blackberry applesauce cake, 18p [VG/V/DF]

Last weekend, Small Boy and I headed out to a small area of marshland around a mile from our home, on a blackberry picking mission. We had been promising ourselves for some time that we would do it…

oursouthend.wordpress.com

Literal food writer
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Looks like she's iced it in taramasalata.

 

[Grifty Mc]

Frauen - I have just been to a delightful garden in the south of England, where the catering hut reminded me of someone... I was concerned this might be a new job for her but can report that the food was delicious, so I think it's unlikely to be the slop pixie.
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I hope they had rinsed spaghetti hoops!
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Happy bank holiday evening you awful lot. Just homw after taking my lot out, to stop them all falling out. This half term has started off alittle bit spicy in my house. Just called in too see if the pixie peasant as graced us with something exciting or some slop. Alas i am dissapointed... she must be used to dissapointing people by now, so i doubt she will mind.

Feed them some slop, that will soon get them into order ready for their national service.

 

[MavisBeacon]

I know where that is. It’s where my old dog ate goose poo and then threw it all up over the sofa at home. but probably still better than one of Jack’s slops.

There were baby geese, and also adult geese doing a lot of honking, which us why I was concerned that guest was on the loose. But luckily i was safe

 

[Five hundred dogs]

She’s the type of person who’d be “I ate Yorkie bars as a kid even though the other girls didn’t because they said not for girls on them!” as if she’d eaten deep fried crickets or something.

You just know that before she pivoted to him having food issues she was one of the parents who was all “Oh your SB doesn’t like broccoli and olives? Mine does, he’s got such a refined palate!” as if her parenting has anything to do with her child’s tastebuds and it isn’t perfectly normal for everyone to have things they don’t like.

Oh I remember those parents. Having a child with quite a limited palate I found “little Noah has such grown up tastes, he’d rather have olives and hummus than a biscuit” brigade especially galling. Thing is, they grow up and last week I saw not-so-little Noah coming out of the shop having bought a six pack of donuts and a can of monster for his lunch.

 

[Grifty Mc]

Oh I remember those parents. Having a child with quite a limited palate I found “little Noah has such grown up tastes, he’d rather have olives and hummus than a biscuit” brigade especially galling. Thing is, they grow up and last week I saw not-so-little Noah coming out of the shop having bought a six pack of donuts and a can of monster for his lunch.

It’s funny as some of my nieces and nephews were the whingiest fussy kids imaginable and now they are full foodies

 

[hoopdedoo]

Hard agree. I’ve made my own bath salts for yonks (find them soothing when I’m flaring) and I put in dried rose petals and rose essential oil into the mix, they smell amazing and a few years ago (because I am a poor) I put them into nice little “bags”. They were the ones that look like brown envelopes with the window and they’re resealable. I gave them to my friends at Christmas that year. I also did a lavender version too.

Anyway. They were very much appreciated as they were properly done. If I had received Jack’s manky old bottle full of stuff that should have gone into a food caddy, well…..I’d have hurled it onto the nearest fire, obvs

The envelope bags are a brilliant idea, tenderstem Stew.

Now I'm curious what would happen if guest's "bath salts" were thrown onto a fire. Would the house smell lovely from the (very few) scented ingredients, or would the poorly-dried peels and clumpy table salts douse the flames? It may be time for a Craftalong, with the fire brigade on speed dial.

 

[ClarenceBeakes]

Secretly foraged - I think she thinks foraged is the same as rummaged??

Also I guess 14 is just her go-to number for lies exaggerations?

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I HAAAAAATE the use of "promptly" there. You don't grow up in one sudden instance. You can't say promptly there! You liked the chicken from primary school to teenhood!

Spoiler: Promptly definition

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This post is riddled with horrible writing but that's the bit that winds me up the most. Even moreso than "spiked" and "queer little thing I was" which are . And the fact that a tub of chicken and s bag of chips would cost more than a bus fare. I know it's just fantasising but she could at least try for verisimilitude

But seriously she had her child at what 22? So she either thinks he is not a person or she left home and started renting a house by herself aged eight #actuallyautistic #cannotlie

I'm Sure this has been mithered (I pronounce it MYTHERED, I can imagine Ena Sharples saying saying it like that in a withering tone of voice) at length already but or takes about 15-20 minutes to walk a mile. So, in the best case scenario, she was spending 3.5 hours a day walking to and from school??!! Evens Charles Dickens would have thought that was a bit OTT

 

[YerDa]

I’ve just been to a talk where James Blunt was promoting his autobiography He was telling us how the papers made up literally every story about him. Really explains how guest has managed to have so much fiction published over the last dozen years.

 

[Grifty Mc]

I’ve just been to a talk where James Blunt was promoting his autobiography He was telling us how the papers made up literally every story about him. Really explains how guest has managed to have so much fiction published over the last dozen years.

I love James blunt.

 

[Carefree]

It’s funny as some of my nieces and nephews were the whingiest fussy kids imaginable and now they are full foodies

Whereas I was the opposite. Would eat almost anything as a kid and now I'm like eww at most things. Except baked beans. They've never been my bag, despite my dad's attempts

 

[griftalo]

I’ve never understood why she thinks there’s anything odd about liking coronation chicken as a child. It’s got a mild curry, creamy and fairly sweet flavour, it’s hardly an acquired taste and probably something most children would eat.

I loved it as a kid (still do). I liked it so much I’d make curried egg mayo too.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Well, she does provide plenty of a-muse-ment for the canal.

Da-boom-tish!
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Whereas I was the opposite. Would eat almost anything as a kid and now I'm like eww at most things. Except baked beans. They've never been my bag, despite my dad's attempts

Beans are the Devil's bogeys

 

[MediumLoad]

I’ve just been to a talk where James Blunt was promoting his autobiography He was telling us how the papers made up literally every story about him. Really explains how guest has managed to have so much fiction published over the last dozen years.

Many years ago, I was unwillingly involved in a man-made calamity. No deaths or serious injuries but lots of material damage. Anyhow, as we recuperated in a nearby hotel, the local press arrived.

They made a quick round of the various tables of victims getting quotes (I gave them a no comment) and retired to a table next to mine where they set to making up all sorts of shite which they then printed.