Ah yes, the CHEAP mandolin, not the diamond-encrusted one she saves for best.
TWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
(Sorry, couldn't hold it in any longer)
TWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
(Sorry, couldn't hold it in any longer)
Jack Monroe #570 Delusions of Relevance
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Has there even been a Jack bingo card/drinking game in this thread for all the shite she comes out with?
Describes something as "cheap"
Crumbly shoulder
Almost kidnapped!
Peaky Blinders!
Unscrewed lightbulbs... etc.
Hours... Probably decades of entertainment.
Describes something as "cheap"
Crumbly shoulder
Almost kidnapped!
Peaky Blinders!
Unscrewed lightbulbs... etc.
Hours... Probably decades of entertainment.
I'm still curious to know what caused the prolonged silence - and what prompted the return. Behind-the-scenes legal drama? Someone looking into her finances? New OH? Rehab? Simply trying to salvage her 'career' by saying as little as possible?
Am convinced the insufferable twit’s been dumped by the latest wealthy OH she thought she was going to marry so now she’s desperate for 1. Attention and 2. Money.
Bet she’s desperate to post a thirst selfie and to show off every single aspect of where she’s living and what she’s done with the place. Wonder how long she’ll be able to resist that temptation…
I think you'll find it was... checks notes.. a known stalker who hacked all her accounts and only let her back on if she bigged up the red kickyball team and dissed Rishi mate
A couple of week ago I chopped the top of my finger off. This is it now, waiting for the nail to grow back as the finger has repaired itself. It did not feel anything like a sensitive tooth after 20 minutes. Also as a clumsy adhd person (like our guest) the idea that the last time she cut her finger was 20 years ago is hilarious. The last time I cut my finger in a way I'd bother mentioning was during lockdown when I accidentally fed my boyfriend part of my hand in a ragu.
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You forgot her attempts to go viral by jumping on the bandwagon of a hot new viral video clip she just discovered.
Almost like the evil stalker hacker [checks notes] wants her to make a total twit of herself with her every utterance. Perhaps she needs to leave a big pile of money under a windscreen wiper again so they’ll leave her alone.
I only went to work for ONE bleeping DAY and she's off again. Ffs. It was so much nicer whilst she was AWOL.
Every hour on the hour, the canal should gather together to manifest the ghoulish bleep back into her pit.
Tuesday chaoi again? I'M BUSY.
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Every hour on the hour, the canal should gather together to manifest the ghoulish bleep back into her pit.
Tuesday chaoi again? I'M BUSY.
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SPOILER!!!!! And also, how do you keep re-growing bits?!!!
I would agree with this plus taking advantage of the attention around Baby Reindeer to insert herself into a sympathetic narrative that isn’t her own. This is a classic Jack move, particularly if she has fucked up which I think we can class
Can we all have a guess? I reckon SB told her if she didn't stop embarrassing him, the family, Sarfend, Essex (and multiple other areas of GB), Cyprus, Greece, and Georgia, on or offline, he'd <blankety blank, blankety blank>
She’s ditched kickball coz
Looks like she’s locked down again…
What is the main theory why Jack does this? I’ve never got it, does it drive up engagement? It’s not like she posts anything of real note (not intentionally anyway)
To stem the flow of “you cant cook and you lie on the internet for cash” replies
for sure!
drink 1 sip for every:
*checks notes*
tags the prime minister
completed it mate/ elevenerife
mention of THE POVERTY
tin rattle
A swig for every
kickball
I'll ping it to you tomorrow, it's in the sink
pet picture
my bad mentals
TROLLS
down your drink for every
new"did it myself with the kitchen scissors" hairstyle
new £££££ kitchen appliance
and then everyone clapped story of heroism/ child saying something adoring of her
a new slop
drink the whole bottle if
a new Harold or Harriet appears
she moves house
she gets a job
Her photo filtering skills are like her slop slinging, money management, ability to hold on to a wealthy partner and all else about her. Terrible.
I wonder if it’s just that she keeps trying to test the waters, which normally these days results in lots of replies of the type “You thieving bellend”, so she locks down again while she tries to think about what to do. The sad thing is, Jack, there’s nowt you can do; you ARE a thieving bellend and the whole of t’internet knows it (as, I expect, do you, deep down).
She knows NOWT. Not deep down nor superficially. NOWT.
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She's gonna play the starry comments club starry with all the oh woe is me ebil trolls drove me away again shite. Nope, guest, as ever it's your own doing. You are a prize wazzock.
What's that saying? Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought stupid than open your mouth and prove it.
ETA commas. Apply where you see fit! ,,,,,,,,,
I left school in the late 90s and sometimes wore trousers. A female friend wore them all the time for school.
The girls school down the road from my school at one point only allowed trousers if they were the same colour as their jackets / jumpers. That is a hideous green colour. I think I saw one person wearing them ever. They eventually relented and allowed black trousers by the time I left though.
And Blue Banana was the go to shop for teenage goth girls when I was that age.
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