Wait hold on, are we looking at day two of her Kruger wotsit photo shoot outfit? Like,
<unspecified length of time, but enough for the curls to fall out and the makeup to sort of... spread>
Wait hold on, are we looking at day two of her Kruger wotsit photo shoot outfit? Like,View attachment 2619723
She went on TV like that! View attachment 2619677No fucking way was she living her best clean and sober life last year.
See also: @Marmalade Atkins GLORIOUS nice collages…View attachment 2619694 View attachment 2619696View attachment 2619695Couldn’t even be arsed to have a shower, get the day before’s makeup off her face, wash her hair or put on clothes that even just looked clean to go on national tv- including to go on national tv and handleslopfood in an opportunity for which she’d been waiting SEVEN YEARS.
You forget (according to Guest History Timeline #424523) she doesn't know about makeup so was so delighted with what the photoshoot artists did and decided not to to wash it off for days.Wait hold on, are we looking at day two of her Kruger wotsit photo shoot outfit? Like,
View attachment 2619849
<unspecified length of time, but enough for the curls to fall out and the makeup to sort of... spread>
View attachment 2619850
Hahahahaha @FunnyFuneral... When you are free.....Wait hold on, are we looking at day two of her Kruger wotsit photo shoot outfit? Like,
View attachment 2619849
<unspecified length of time, but enough for the curls to fall out and the makeup to sort of... spread>
View attachment 2619850
Personally, I'm of the opinion that guest was steadying herself on 30th November ready for the big "Christmas Comeback". A trio of slow cookers bubbling with malicious intent and the smell of impending failure rising over the stench of desperation, as per previous years.Ftfy
Credit to @StatusWoe!
---
Procrastinating here to avoid doing any work (am I Jack?!), but can we have a vote on the next thread about why we believe she is missing? Be a lovely way to see in the Festive season. Better than bloody eels.
And door 2 revealed an HMRC investigator....Personally, I'm of the opinion that guest was steadying herself on 30th November ready for the big "Christmas Comeback". A trio of slow cookers bubbling with malicious intent and the smell of impending failure rising over the stench of desperation, as per previous years.
However, 1st December arrived and guest ouchily, but bravely limped from her simple bednest towards an advent calendar and grappled it with hands that have long stopped functioning and now barely able to grasp. Jack prayed silently and privately to her God, that this year, this year would be the one. Unfortunately only to find 2 burly bailiffs behind the first door rather than the Malteser Reindeer that Mr Asda had promised.
Have you no hearts? Lol.
Ah, landlady's husband/brother/son/son-in-law doesn't perchance stand in a bowl of porridge with one trouser leg rolled up with Chocco, does he??I'm sure that she mocked up the rent increase message from her landlady/letting agent, but when is another rent increase due based on the date of the message?
Everyone we know who rents has had an increase this year because of the COL crisis no matter how understanding their landlord/ landlady is.
I'm an over 2K rent truther looking at similar (and smaller) rental properties in Shoeburyness.
I can't believe that the landlady is that naive and if she's using a letting agency there's no way they'd be recommending that level of rent on a property that size.
Absolutely. Even if you have a "good" landlord or one that has paid off their mortgage the agents will be recommend putting up the rents to match market rates. Especially if their fees are tied to the rent amount.I'm sure that she mocked up the rent increase message from her landlady/letting agent, but when is another rent increase due based on the date of the message?
Everyone we know who rents has had an increase this year because of the COL crisis no matter how understanding their landlord/ landlady is.
I'm an over 2K rent truther looking at similar (and smaller) rental properties in Shoeburyness.
I can't believe that the landlady is that naive and if she's using a letting agency there's no way they'd be recommending that level of rent on a property that size.
FFS, YEEEESSSS!!!!!Wait hold on, are we looking at day two of her Kruger wotsit photo shoot outfit? Like,
View attachment 2619849
<unspecified length of time, but enough for the curls to fall out and the makeup to sort of... spread>
View attachment 2619850
"Hilda, come here a tick and look at this... Do you remember that bloody awful B&B we stayed in on that trip to Southend?"My mind is permanently blown that she was such an insufferably pompous fusty old fuddy duddy at 25. I mean, you look at this. View attachment 2619847And it gives full onView attachment 2619864
She’d have us believe she went from full-on lyrics-doodling OBSESSED fan of Hole (Courtney Love’s band), in fishnet tops and LASHINGS of black eyeliner and being the COOOOOL rebel described below, to spouting that shit up toplike a Labour party Barclay Beg-Chetwynde…
View attachment 2619854
… while looking like thisand dressing in her Nan’s front room Austrian blinds from Freeman’s Catalogue, and a sensible cardi. View attachment 2619876 TOO POOR TO AFFORD NICE HAIR
View attachment 2619877View attachment 2619878One month before that pic.
Right. Unlike Guest, I actually remember when I promised to do something and have come back to leave my thoughts.Ah yes, the corporate speaking gigs for which she gets paid (a large chunk of) 10-15 grand apiece.
View attachment 2618748
Except she doesn't...
View attachment 2618749
And yet...
View attachment 2618750View attachment 2618751
Fucking lying, gaslighting, grasping twat. It'll never not make me hoot-slash-rage that she bills these corporations with more money than sense half a day for recovery time. Poor smol ickle delicate Jack clearly needs to take to her nest-bed to overcome the shock of actually doing half a day's "work."
Well said. Just a thought though … if it’s publicising something you’re selling in order to increase sales (eg Hay had Susie Dent publicising her new book and it was flying off the shelves in the Festival shop, as were her preceding books) what’s the deal?Right. Unlike Guest, I actually remember when I promised to do something and have come back to leave my thoughts.
I don't think she's getting £10-15K for a straight corporate speaking gig on the regular. Possibly for something like the disastrous Curry's collab, which we know must have been arranged through Kruger Cowne as Agent Adrian was there, or for a big Google-type thing. Small literary festivals like Clitfest, Hay etc pay crap (maybe a couple of grand if you're *really* lucky).
However, I actually agree with pretty much everything she says about how to negotiate your fee - far too much of the public speaking world relies on the fact that people want a platform, so will do stuff for nothing or just travel expenses. But if you're self employed, then this stuff is your job, and it needs to be worth your while - either monetarily or in terms of genuine exposure/opportunity or an incredible fun experience (fun, fame or fortune).
For example, I was approached to speak at an event in a European country. I would have had to spend at least half a day preparing for the event (plus also packing, sorting out logistics etc etc), most of a day travelling, the full day at the event, then most of the day travelling back - two nights away from home in bed that I might not sleep well in, and I have a genuine chronic health condition that means stuff like that does wipe me out. If I get in really late from an event where I've had to be on my feet all day, I am under par for at least a day after that. So I have no problem with factoring in half a day of recovery time.
And, of course, I wouldn't be able to get on with as much of my other regular work, as it's hard to work properly when you're travelling (i've tried - it's tiring and stressful, it's hard to do client calls on the go, and I hate being beholden to my laptop battery and finding wifi). So, let's call it 4 days of working time that I need to get covered.
Now, I'm a highly experienced Frau and an expert in my field, and when I was a freelance in a usual year my income was around £60K. According to this day rate calculator, if I want to make the equivalent of a £60,000 salary, I need to charge a *minimum* of £350 a day: https://www.maxwellstephens.com/day-rate-calculator (these things usually assume you're working full time, with about 4 weeks holiday a year and a couple of sick days).
So, I would need to ask for AT LEAST £1400, plus travel and accommodation. And that's not including any other expenses that I might incur while I'm away for three days, like meals, snacks, or a couple of glasses of overpriced red wine that I'll have to drink on my own in the hotel bar. Oh, and if it's arranged through an agent, then they will take a percentage of the fee (10-20% depending on your deal, although it's usually worth it as they'll negotiate a higher fee than you would ever manage to yourself). Now I run a company, and they bill me out at £1200 a day, so that would be a minimum of £5K, as that's how much we would lose due to me not being able to get on with other billable work or any of the other jobs I do. So no, I won't do it for £200, or for free
If your experience and expertise is valuable, then people should pay you for it. It drives me nuts when organisers of events aren't willing to pay for the time of the people who are the reason the event exists in the first place! I think guest's advice and rationale is fine, and more people should take it to heart. Where I differ is that I'm genuinely an expert and an authority on what I do, whereas she's a honking chancer who keeps trotting out her self-centred poverty fiction.
Ahh excellent, another Ghosts fan.My mind is permanently blown that she was such an insufferably pompous fusty old fuddy duddy at 25. I mean, you look at this. View attachment 2619847And it gives full onView attachment 2619864
She’d have us believe she went from full-on lyrics-doodling OBSESSED fan of Hole (Courtney Love’s band), in fishnet tops and LASHINGS of black eyeliner and being the COOOOOL rebel described below, to spouting that shit up toplike a Labour party Barclay Beg-Chetwynde…
View attachment 2619854
… while looking like thisand dressing in her Nan’s front room Austrian blinds from Freeman’s Catalogue, and a sensible cardi. View attachment 2619876 TOO POOR TO AFFORD NICE HAIR
View attachment 2619877View attachment 2619878One month before that pic.
Of course people should be compensated fairly for their time and expertise, and I apologise if my post implied otherwise. However, we know guest does the absolute bare minimum, doesn't prepare, frequently turns up late (if she deigns to show her face at all), spends (at most) an hour banging on about herself, thinks it appropriate to tell her audience that she's doing her engagements on 3 hours' sleep because she's been "sober raving" the night before, and is generally an unprofessional pain in the arse for event organisers. I'll never not find it objectionable that she's stealing a living from people who actually put the effort in.Right. Unlike Guest, I actually remember when I promised to do something and have come back to leave my thoughts.
I don't think she's getting £10-15K for a straight corporate speaking gig on the regular. Possibly for something like the disastrous Curry's collab, which we know must have been arranged through Kruger Cowne as Agent Adrian was there, or for a big Google-type thing. Small literary festivals like Clitfest, Hay etc pay crap (maybe a couple of grand if you're *really* lucky).
However, I actually agree with pretty much everything she says about how to negotiate your fee - far too much of the public speaking world relies on the fact that people want a platform, so will do stuff for nothing or just travel expenses. But if you're self employed, then this stuff is your job, and it needs to be worth your while - either monetarily or in terms of genuine exposure/opportunity or an incredible fun experience (fun, fame or fortune).
For example, I was approached to speak at an event in a European country. I would have had to spend at least half a day preparing for the event (plus also packing, sorting out logistics etc etc), most of a day travelling, the full day at the event, then most of the day travelling back - two nights away from home in bed that I might not sleep well in, and I have a genuine chronic health condition that means stuff like that does wipe me out. If I get in really late from an event where I've had to be on my feet all day, I am under par for at least a day after that. So I have no problem with factoring in half a day of recovery time.
And, of course, I wouldn't be able to get on with as much of my other regular work, as it's hard to work properly when you're travelling (i've tried - it's tiring and stressful, it's hard to do client calls on the go, and I hate being beholden to my laptop battery and finding wifi). So, let's call it 4 days of working time that I need to get covered.
Now, I'm a highly experienced Frau and an expert in my field, and when I was a freelance in a usual year my income was around £60K. According to this day rate calculator, if I want to make the equivalent of a £60,000 salary, I need to charge a *minimum* of £350 a day: https://www.maxwellstephens.com/day-rate-calculator (these things usually assume you're working full time, with about 4 weeks holiday a year and a couple of sick days).
So, I would need to ask for AT LEAST £1400, plus travel and accommodation. And that's not including any other expenses that I might incur while I'm away for three days, like meals, snacks, or a couple of glasses of overpriced red wine that I'll have to drink on my own in the hotel bar. Oh, and if it's arranged through an agent, then they will take a percentage of the fee (10-20% depending on your deal, although it's usually worth it as they'll negotiate a higher fee than you would ever manage to yourself). Now I run a company, and they bill me out at £1200 a day, so that would be a minimum of £5K, as that's how much we would lose due to me not being able to get on with other billable work or any of the other jobs I do. So no, I won't do it for £200, or for free
If your experience and expertise is valuable, then people should pay you for it. It drives me nuts when organisers of events aren't willing to pay for the time of the people who are the reason the event exists in the first place! I think guest's advice and rationale is fine, and more people should take it to heart. Where I differ is that I'm genuinely an expert and an authority on what I do, whereas she's a honking chancer who keeps trotting out her self-centred poverty fiction.
I wonder if the tummy/stomach thing could also be to do with spelling. If someone sho doesn't have English as their first language, sees stomach written down, the may not pronounce it with a "k" ending and may read it as something like staw-match,whereas tummy is phonetic.Think of someone who is a non-native speaker but has young kids in school here. The kids won’t be saying stomach pain, they’ll be saying tummy pain so the parent might know that word, or indeed have the child navigating the site/reading it out/translating it for them. Similarly people with some learning disabilities are more likely to use tummy vs stomach. It’s based on the likelihood that the reader won’t understand tummy (even if they roll their eyes) being far lower than the likelihood of them not understanding stomach.
And yer Da sells Avon.All of your food is brown
And your skin is grey
Completely off-topic for Ghosts and Blackadder fansAhh excellent, another Ghosts fan.
How surprising. I am surprised
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?