Jack Monroe #553 Fairytale of No Pork

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

thread title by @MaineCoonMama as a tribute to Shane MacGowan (RIP) and Jack's brief foray into veganism.

Jack is still locked and MIA, so the canal are mithering through some of her greatest hits appalling slops. I think I'm scarred for life by the thought of black pudding and carrot hash, although it seems to be from the Allegra era so there's a faint chance it might be something approaching edible.

Her patreon subscribers are softly, gently declining at every renewal, and every time she's mentioned on twitter it's to general mockery.

wiki is the pink button up top, please start nominating thread titles after post #500, and remember, no swears in thread titles.

 

[MurielSnark]

thread title by @MaineCoonMama as a tribute to Shane MacGowan (RIP) and Jack's brief foray into veganism.

Jack is still locked and MIA, so the canal are mithering through some of her greatest hits appalling slops. I think I'm scarred for life by the thought of black pudding and carrot hash, although it seems to be from the Allegra era so there's a faint chance it might be something approaching edible.

View attachment 2607504

Her patreon subscribers are softly, gently declining at every renewal, and every time she's mentioned on twitter it's to general mockery.

wiki is the pink button up top, please start nominating thread titles after post #500, and remember, no swears in thread titles.

Great thread title!

Although Jack is nowhere near the same creativity universe as the late Shane MacGowan (RIP).

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

A few highlights from the last thread:

• AI guest!
• Jackie Slopper and the Book Cover Parodies by JK Howling
• This brilliant post by @rage naan about how guest really is no different from 30p Lee when she says families should be able to live on £20 a week
• When she tried to guestsplain inflation to the Economics Editor of the Financial Times
• Guest plugging Mel Donte which cost about double a tin of cheap fruit
• Slopbot's third birthday
• Guest's shrine to herself
• Vintage recipes: cracking Yorkies, Scandi (prison) chic Christmas menu, "Fifteens" that were inedible bricks stuffed with flesh, Pumpkin "scones" instead of a SODDING PIE
• Guest's lies about her son smashing up her award

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Comments under the black pudding and carrot hash are .

People have always flagged her as a horrible cook. How on earth did she continue to get food work??

 

[rage naan]

I've got sucked into a shallow dive into guest's "recipes for life" from the 2014-15 period in the guardian. I'm enjoying the comments sections - clearly people at the time were divided in their opinions and little feuds bubbled away. I'll spoiler some highlights

Spoiler: Jack in the comments

a rare chance to see her interact with commenters in the wild pre the 2020 twitter deletion. this top one is someone who vigorously defends her all over the threads & she's still so rude to them

Spoiler: General squigs griping & bickering

It's basic stuff but amusing to see that the same old stuff was happening 10 years ago

Spoiler: guest's recipes are not, in fact, what they say on the tin

Spoiler: Food safety? Lol no

Spoiler: and some that are just bizarre

I love the guy who told everyone every week how the dish would be served in Zimbabwe in the distant past

and idk what's going on here but lol

 

[SleevelessSlopSlinger]

Carrying over from the last thread, am I the only one who thinks it’s a bit odd to make hummus for a four year olds birthday? Maybe mine are fussy but they wouldn’t have TOUCHED hummus at that age. Even less at a party.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Yuck.

And Yucker.

How do these cretinous people manage to function? Maybe don’t bleeping buy this tit for Christmas if you know in October it will be left over? And definitely don’t ask this talentless grifting imbecile what inedible slops you can bung it into thus wasting other perfectly good ingredients.

Although…

You know, for when you have “stray” pots of cream and random leftover mincemeat “kicking” or “lying” about/around.

 

[MurielSnark]

I've got sucked into a shallow dive into guest's "recipes for life" from the 2014-15 period in the guardian. I'm enjoying the comments sections - clearly people at the time were divided in their opinions and little feuds bubbled away. I'll spoiler some highlights

Spoiler: Jack in the comments

a rare chance to see her interact with commenters in the wild pre the 2020 twitter deletion. this top one is someone who vigorously defends her all over the threads & she's still so rude to them

View attachment 2607514View attachment 2607517View attachment 2607515

Spoiler: General squigs griping & bickering

It's basic stuff but amusing to see that the same old stuff was happening 10 years ago

View attachment 2607519View attachment 2607520View attachment 2607522View attachment 2607523View attachment 2607524View attachment 2607528View attachment 2607529View attachment 2607531View attachment 2607532View attachment 2607536View attachment 2607538View attachment 2607549
View attachment 2607556View attachment 2607573View attachment 2607574View attachment 2607576

Spoiler: guest's recipes are not, in fact, what they say on the tin

View attachment 2607534View attachment 2607539View attachment 2607544View attachment 2607546View attachment 2607548View attachment 2607551View attachment 2607553

Spoiler: Food safety? Lol no

View attachment 2607557View attachment 2607559

Spoiler: and some that are just bizarre

I love the guy who told everyone every week how the dish would be served in Zimbabwe in the distant past
View attachment 2607569View attachment 2607571and idk what's going on here but lol View attachment 2607572

excellent archival work @rage naan!

 

[rage naan]

Carrying over from the last thread, am I the only one who thinks it’s a bit odd to make hummus for a four year olds birthday? Maybe mine are fussy but they wouldn’t have TOUCHED hummus at that age. Even less at a party.

I dunno, I guess I know loads of middle class yummy mummies but most kids I know have been basically weaned on hummus and crudités. Also we had it as kids because immigrant parent.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

The flipping stollen (sorry, SODDING stollen) will be hard as a brick if put in ice cream, ditto panettone. You will break your teeth. Although tbf that's what would also happen if you tried to eat anything guest baked

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Carrying over from the last thread, am I the only one who thinks it’s a bit odd to make hummus for a four year olds birthday? Maybe mine are fussy but they wouldn’t have TOUCHED hummus at that age. Even less at a party.

beetroot and childrens' party clothes, there's a winning combination if ever there was one.

 

[rage naan]

excellent archival work @rage naan!

Thank you there's so much more there but the post was unmanageably huge already. I'll keep looking tho. Interestingly, you can still see her username on posts, but clicking on it brings up a no such user page...

 

[MurielSnark]

Buy loose parsnips and only get as many as your kid will eat, you utter brain donor.

God, I'm not sorry this particular genre of Twitter chat is gone. So many craven fools blowing smoke up guest's arse.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

There is a reason why parsnip cakes never really caught on ...

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

There is a reason why parsnip cakes never really caught on ...

It's the sort of thing that features in Womens' Institute cookbooks, ones which might as well be called things like "What Am I Supposed to Do With All This Effing Beetroot, the Kids Won't Touch It".

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I've got sucked into a shallow dive into guest's "recipes for life" from the 2014-15 period in the guardian. I'm enjoying the comments sections - clearly people at the time were divided in their opinions and little feuds bubbled away. I'll spoiler some highlights

Spoiler: Jack in the comments

a rare chance to see her interact with commenters in the wild pre the 2020 twitter deletion. this top one is someone who vigorously defends her all over the threads & she's still so rude to them

View attachment 2607514View attachment 2607517View attachment 2607515

Spoiler: General squigs griping & bickering

It's basic stuff but amusing to see that the same old stuff was happening 10 years ago

View attachment 2607519View attachment 2607520View attachment 2607522View attachment 2607523View attachment 2607524View attachment 2607528View attachment 2607529View attachment 2607531View attachment 2607532View attachment 2607536View attachment 2607538View attachment 2607549
View attachment 2607556View attachment 2607573View attachment 2607574View attachment 2607576

Spoiler: guest's recipes are not, in fact, what they say on the tin

View attachment 2607534View attachment 2607539View attachment 2607544View attachment 2607546View attachment 2607548View attachment 2607551View attachment 2607553

Spoiler: Food safety? Lol no

View attachment 2607557View attachment 2607559

Spoiler: and some that are just bizarre

I love the guy who told everyone every week how the dish would be served in Zimbabwe in the distant past
View attachment 2607569View attachment 2607571and idk what's going on here but lol View attachment 2607572

Bonus reference to (invisible) MUSCLES

 

[Sideboard Bob]

There is a reason why parsnip cakes never really caught on ...

That sounds just like a coded message from one spy to another.

 

[Mr Krabs]

There is a reason why parsnip cakes never really caught on ...

I have made a parsnip cake. Basically it was the same as a carrot cake, similar texture and spices. But the parsnips are an absolute bastard to grate. It’s about a hundred times harder than grating carrots, making it an absolutely pointless exercise. Like Jack’s career basically.

Next time, the guinea pigs are getting leftover parsnips.

 

[SleevelessSlopSlinger]

Every single thing she’s ever cooked or written is such a shower of tit, looking back on it now all I can think of is that someone was having a cosmic laugh initially promoting her.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Carrying over from the last thread, am I the only one who thinks it’s a bit odd to make hummus for a four year olds birthday? Maybe mine are fussy but they wouldn’t have TOUCHED hummus at that age. Even less at a party.

That was back when Jack was with Leggy and going through her “exotic foodstuffs” phase to, errr…prove to everyone she wasn’t a far right extremist.

THIS IS ENGLAND!!!

Posts about This Is England on COOKING ON A BOOTSTRAP

Posts about This Is England written by Jack Monroe

web.archive.org

ETA How the duck Ol’ Legster managed to tolerate this obnoxious parochial halfwit quarterwit as long as she did is something I will never, ever understand.