Jack Monroe #537 Moana Fleecer

[WoolyMammoth]

Well, at least she listens to some advice. I told her on Aug 9th to get rid of the liquid tit.

Spoiler: Now and then

Now: top 12 still the same as after the last cull. Mr Potato head and the sideboard collection live on! Lots of deleted slops tho
View attachment 2393547
Lots of deleted stuff after that, mainly slops tho. This is what comes next now
View attachment 2393575

This is what’s LEFT since 9th Aug. This is as far as I got with taking the pics of her grid last time so I can’t see what’s gone after this. SLOPS AWAY!
View attachment 2393578View attachment 2393582
She’s left all these below in tho. Jack, as you listened to my advice about these poo bowls, if you’re trying to pretend you can cook, you should probably delete this pan of excrement with green furry mould forming on top, this loaf tin of liquid tit with a hard crust formed on top, with nuts set in it and these Dr Pimplepopper cysts that you’re trying to pass off as eggs. Oh and that Del Monte one too, cos you look like a right bleeping berk.
View attachment 2393592
ETA I think I’d get rid of these too, whatever they’re meant to be.
View attachment 2393612

So she's got rid of most of the pictures of food, but kept the ones where she looks like she's lost in a multi storey car park without her bra and in only the company of oversized linen clothes? And the one where she made a house sign with a cut up paper doilley and a pritt stick in the dark? She's a food writer?

Unless she's looking to usurp Neil Buchanan from a future series of art attack what's going on here?

 

[plentyofpepper]

I was just going through my photos to delete stuff and this Georgia gif has suddenly made me think of guest’s delicious homemade tea shandies of “any” tea and disgusting flat pop/cream soda baking in the warm Spring sunshine. That Old Harold was a lucky, lucky man
View attachment 2393422View attachment 2393451Tea shandy ss from @Marmalade Atkins

Anyone for a tea shandy sea shanty!?!

There once was some pop put into tea
Which caused pain in the drinker’s tummy
It was left in the sun to ferment and die
So Harold took his leave and LEFT

Soon may the Quarterhack come
To bring us peach curry & a sore tum
One day when the grifting is done
Tattle will take their leave and gooooo
---

Well, at least she listens to some advice. I told her on Aug 9th to get rid of the liquid tit.

Spoiler: Now and then

Now: top 12 still the same as after the last cull. Mr Potato head and the sideboard collection live on! Lots of deleted slops tho
View attachment 2393547
Lots of deleted stuff after that, mainly slops tho. This is what comes next now
View attachment 2393575

This is what’s LEFT since 9th Aug. This is as far as I got with taking the pics of her grid last time so I can’t see what’s gone after this. SLOPS AWAY!
View attachment 2393578View attachment 2393582
She’s left all these below in tho. Jack, as you listened to my advice about these poo bowls, if you’re trying to pretend you can cook, you should probably delete this pan of excrement with green furry mould forming on top, this loaf tin of liquid tit with a hard crust formed on top, with nuts set in it and these Dr Pimplepopper cysts that you’re trying to pass off as eggs. Oh and that Del Monte one too, cos you look like a right bleeping berk.
View attachment 2393592
ETA I think I’d get rid of these too, whatever they’re meant to be.
View attachment 2393612

RIP giant parsnip, casualty of the cull, GBNF, fly high angel xx

IIRC the caption was something absurd like ‘I’ll have what he’s having’

 

[BenignNarcissist]

Could someone put a link in for The Alcoholism Timeline? Been on the wiki and I'm just not seeing it

 

[Falkor]

I think he did I wirh guest on DKL, she mentions a recipe and he jumps in with "that's a Jamie Oliver recipe isn't it?"

Guest is non committal but inside there are radiators being thrown

That was the botulism pesto, I think.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

just popping in to ask what the duck about beans is ‘smutty’ !?!?! dare I ask what she’s doing with those beans to make them smutty…?
View attachment 2393755

ETA: choose your smutty fighter:View attachment 2393758

Personally I’m going with Obscene Beans, based on her track record of doing appalling things with food.

Well, as

Spoiler: Really, really grim. WARNED

Jack are this Vibrio-on-a-plate monstrosity “from the pan like a hyena” while making “terribly lascivious noises” it’s probably best not to think too much about what the hell she meant by smutty baked beans.

(Ss @Silver Linings)

And then there’s this creepy oily anchovy butter. Double and triple WARNED.

Spoiler

(posted by a justifiably horrified @Nottonightbabe)

 

[MurielSnark]

Well, as

Spoiler: Really, really grim. WARNED

Jack are this Vibrio-on-a-plate monstrosity “from the pan like a hyena” while making “terribly lascivious noises” it’s probably best not to think too much about what the hell she meant by smutty baked beans. View attachment 2393784View attachment 2393785(Ss @Silver Linings)

And then there’s this creepy oily anchovy butter. Double and triple WARNED.

Spoiler

View attachment 2393792(posted by a justifiably horrified @Nottonightbabe)

Why, oh why would you compare something as savoury and salty as anchovy butter with cupcake icing? It just immediately makes the whole thing wrong in the brain. (Apart from the horrible-ness of the stuff. Too oily, guest.)

And pears with mussels and chickpeas is just too awful to contemplate. Yuckity-yuck-yuck.

She is particularly bad on anything to do with fish. Which is a shame, given her mixed Irish-Cypriot-English island heritage and the fact that she lives in a bleeping seaside town.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Could someone put a link in for The Alcoholism Timeline? Been on the wiki and I'm just not seeing it

Here you go, from @colouredlines

Jack Monroe #228 The winter of our fishcontent

I would definitely wear a Slopbot recipe apron when I’m cooking. Please 🙏🏽 I can't believe I didn't didn't think of an apron!

tattle.life

 

[Ms Biscuit]

I had the thought this evening, "I think she's done." At least in this iteration. Out with a whimper. Shrinking audience, shrinking influence. As for where her money's coming from, I'm guessing she's living off a combo of Patreon funds (maybe 300 or so people, maybe 3 - 4k a month?) and occasional handouts from her parents. She'll never make an effort to get a job, and she'll probably never need to. Hopefully her son won't have to spend much time with her for the next few years. She may try on a few more public identities, but I don't think any of them will stick. Only thing we know for sure is that she'll never stop lying. She can't. It's all she has. "What a world, what a world."

Thanks for all the laughs, Aunty Pat! See you 'round the holidays now and then, maybe?

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

That was the botulism pesto, I think.

To the tune of Tom Lehrer's "Masochism Tango", I assume?

 

[L3moning]

Well, as

Spoiler: Really, really grim. WARNED

Jack are this Vibrio-on-a-plate monstrosity “from the pan like a hyena” while making “terribly lascivious noises” it’s probably best not to think too much about what the hell she meant by smutty baked beans. View attachment 2393784View attachment 2393785(Ss @Silver Linings)

And then there’s this creepy oily anchovy butter. Double and triple WARNED.

Spoiler

View attachment 2393792(posted by a justifiably horrified @Nottonightbabe)

Jack's use of language is really bizarre. It seems like there's an effort to channel Nigella's "sexy" thing, but it's failing massively.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Jack's use of language is really bizarre. It seems like there's an effort to channel Nigella's "sexy" thing, but it's failing massively.

I love when she just throws in a completely irrelevant or confusing adjective. Teehee.

Jack's florid use of language is really hauntingly bizarre. It seems like there's an soothing effort to channel Nigella's thrust "sexy" thing of yearningly lusting, but it's triumphantly failing massively.

 

[Emmapism]

The Instagram deletions are weird, is it mainly food that's going? Is she dating someone new and she doesn't want them to do any research on what they're getting themselves into?

I mean you'd leg it into next week if you thought any of that tit was gonna be served up, wouldn't you?

 

[Falkor]

To the tune of Tom Lehrer's "Masochism Tango", I assume?

Now there's an idea

The salad was mouldy and off, dear
But you blended it so we could scoff, dear
Now we're both ill
'Cos we ate our fill
As we die from the botulism pesto

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Now there's an idea

The salad was mouldy and off, dear
But you blended it so we could scoff, dear
Now we're both ill
'Cos we ate our fill
As we die from the botulism pesto

I had a proper "kids today, honestly" moment at work once.
Pro tip: before you mention going poisoning pigeons in the park to someone at work, make sure they've heard of Tom Lehrer.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Who’s that in the gif? Or, whomst dat?

Probably already been answered but that's Vivien Leigh playing Scarlett O'Hara. She's gargling perfume to disguise the smell of alcohol.
Top Tip for Jack, it didn't work. Rhett saw right through her ruse but he married her anyway.

 

[Lazarus]

14 pages behind, owing to having a life (Jack could never). The more you reflect on that Guardian article about her being an alcoholic and how at 7days she’s focussed on work, sleeping better etc, the more truly unbelievable and irresponsible it was to publish.
The NHS website talks about how to withdraw safely if you have been drinking >20 units per day; Jack’s bottle and a half of whiskey per day is more than doubly that. She claims she just stopped.
And after a week, her skin was looking better, she’s glowing etc etc.
If her claim was true, she wouldn’t even be out of the withdrawal stage yet, surely?

We all know how much of a liar she is, but the Guardian should NEVER have published this. It’s so damaging to others with an alcohol addiction.

 

[Foxvint]

Trust me, don’t read this with a hangover. Leaping, galloping & hugging for ‘several minutes’-Jesus Christ, the absolute wankiness and embarrassment of it. Earnest, gullible knobs.
ETA-even worse actually. Embracing. Ffs, get a grip wonky. View attachment 2390092

Mortifying. She really missed her calling as a Telly Evangalist with that messiah complex. Surprised she didn't tip someone out their wheelchair and declare they could walk cos her shadow fell on them. Also what 'transition journey'? Having a short hair? Stupid pair of mats.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

The question this raises in my head is, we know Jack is a plagiariser obviously but did Jamie plagiarise from Nadiya (or vice versa?).

I wonder where the line is between similar spins on the same idea and plagiarism because I suppose at this point, most recipes have been done and many of them done to death (think how many people have a bolognaise recipe and all the overlap they’ll be) so unless you’re doing something very outlandish, it’s hard to be completely unique.

TLDR: is the reason Jack gets away with her plagiarism that it’s hard to define and most chefs/cookbook writers know they’re a bit guilty of it themselves?

BIB Very possibly neither. It is a known phenomenon in the history of the world, evolution etc, that sometimes an idea just "has its time" ie will be simultaneously developed in different regions/ by different individuals and an innovation will suddenly just "pop up" as though magically in several areas, or by several persons at once - in these modern times there then often is a race to be the first to "patent" an idea/ product.

It comes about because conditions and existing technology/ products/ apparent demands have reached a stage where they are stimulating very similar ideas in the clever minds of creative people each other. - especially when those people communicate widely andd their thoughts and ideas bounce off .

Do I think that That Man and Nadiya could independently have developed this concept. Hell, yes!

Do I think that guset could have independently developed this concept? Hell, no!
---

What a waste of perfectly edible in other recipes ingredients. A fish finger sandwich is a lovely thing all by itself. All you need is fish fingers, bread, butter and ketchup. Why ruin all those items just to get something yuk squared.

Cheesy and leek pasta. Another perfectly nice thing.

Spinach goes lovely in a tomato based sauce for pasta.

All ways to use these ingredients with a hope someone might eat them.

I got some reduced chicken thighs in our supermarket tonight. 69p. They would do 3 people a meal if I wasn't eating 3 of the 6 thighs myself. Everyone else had breast as we needed go get some used up. For my bit, I've used half a jar of pasta sauce that needed using up from the fridge and some grilled cheese. Super cheap. Just with some chips. Like why do I need to put it in a lasagne and put a squash in too?

Both super cheap and super simple. (Also sounds super delicious!)

She complicates everything.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

RIs she no longer going be the worlds worst cook. Perhaps its like when you go on a night out and take lots of photos, only to realise that you and youf mates look like gremlins the new batch in all of them... thats what her cooking looks like tbf.

 

[YerDa]

I love when she just throws in a completely irrelevant or confusing adjective. Teehee.

Jack's florid use of language is really hauntingly bizarre. It seems like there's an soothing effort to channel Nigella's thrust "sexy" thing of yearningly lusting, but it's triumphantly failing massively.

It’s one of those things that has to be genuine to work, I reckon. You can’t connect with enthusiasts if your enthusiasm is a complete play-act. Nigella loves her food passionately and that comes over* in her language. Even if it’s not your style, I think it’s recognisably from the heart.

*ooer missus