Jack Monroe #537 Moana Fleecer

[Boogs]

I've said this before... But... I can remember what I was wearing... What I had for lunch... When thread 31 was unfolding...

I can remember where I was when I saw the sideboard thot shots (In a queue at McDonald’s drive thru with ex whose kid would only eat about 3 meals).
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Curious how she's deleting pictures of the hideous slops but not the misjudged awful selfies. I mean, if you're allegedly known for cooking, wouldn't you keep those pictures above all?

Maybe her reinvention will have nothing to do with food - well, let’s hope so for the sake of humanity.

 

[Hold my beans]

Well, at least she listens to some advice. I told her on Aug 9th to get rid of the liquid tit.

Spoiler: Now and then

Now: top 12 still the same as after the last cull. Mr Potato head and the sideboard collection live on! Lots of deleted slops tho
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Lots of deleted stuff after that, mainly slops tho. This is what comes next now
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This is what’s LEFT since 9th Aug. This is as far as I got with taking the pics of her grid last time so I can’t see what’s gone after this. SLOPS AWAY!
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She’s left all these below in tho. Jack, as you listened to my advice about these poo bowls, if you’re trying to pretend you can cook, you should probably delete this pan of excrement with green furry mould forming on top, this loaf tin of liquid tit with a hard crust formed on top, with nuts set in it and these Dr Pimplepopper cysts that you’re trying to pass off as eggs. Oh and that Del Monte one too, cos you look like a right bleeping berk.
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ETA I think I’d get rid of these too, whatever they’re meant to be.
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Aunty Pat with her new shopping trolley from Argos

 

[Esiren]

Who would play guest in the film of her life?
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Smol, Scottish, tit hair. Competed it mate.

Also 'gender fluid'.

 

[frankychester]

I’d love this but as she’s got her own exaggerated “most working class actress ever” backstory I assume she wouldn’t dare! Could be quite interesting if she did and Jack called her out in return though…

ETA: or maybe her own exaggerated backstory would mean she’d totally believe Jack’s story and instead fawn over her like a fangirl, having meetings about how to help those poor working class children whose parents can only afford several classes as an extra curricular (including expensive clothing - needed to reach the level claimed to have been reached), such poverty, much hardship compared to the upper classes whose parents can afford them all… Jack does have some weird tales about extra curriculars too.

 

[Maloney]

One of the many, many, many, many, many things I about Sir Matt on SKL is that he always credits other cooks whose recipes he borrows.

Yesterday he did a Rick Stein recipe, and recently he did a Nigella one, saying why would he make a new one, as hers was the best. Honest and upfront.

The man is a saint.

 

[Saltfish84]

I wish I’d been here for Thread 31. Genuinely have zero recollections of anything in my life at that time.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Curious how she's deleting pictures of the hideous slops but not the misjudged awful selfies. I mean, if you're allegedly known for cooking, wouldn't you keep those pictures above all?

It’s like she’s trying to get rid of all evidence of her cooking but can’t quite bring herself to delete too many pictures of herself, or of people/possessions she’s shown off about.

The Pumble lives on!!!

ETA So, unbelievably, does the pic of her with the kitten pressed to her bits in a sling I don’t have Insta so it won’t let me scroll through @Marmalade Atkins are you able to see if the hideous chore chart is still there? And the spenny “charity shop crockery wardrobe” etc?

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Maybe her reinvention will have nothing to do with food - well, let’s hope so for the sake of humanity.

Speaking as an owner of a tongue, nose, eyes, and a stomach, her original invention had nothing to do with food either.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I've said this before... But... I can remember what I was wearing... What I had for lunch... When thread 31 was unfolding...

Was it a piss and a sandwich?

 

[MurielSnark]

Of course all cooks borrow ideas, techniques and concepts from each other all the time.

The difference with JM is that she NEVER credits anyone else for an idea. I've just looked through a couple of things online and can't find a single instance. There's no professional collegiality or mutual respect for anybody else's work.

If any other cook is referenced, it's in relation to her and her bright idea for whatever -- like the stupid marmalade made at Leggy's restaurant.

The other difference is that guest inevitably ducks it up because she has no understanding of taste or technique so, in her attempts to be maverick and original, she fiddles too much with what makes the basic recipe work. Like substituting mincemeat (seriously, wot?) for cranberries in the stupid brie wreath thingy. She makes everything unnecessarily worse.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

And the spenny “charity shop crockery wardrobe” etc?

This one? Still there.

ETA: I scrolled down to the Allegra era and didn't see the chore chart. Not sure when it was posted.

 

[griftalo]

I was just going through my photos to delete stuff and this Georgia gif has suddenly made me think of guest’s delicious homemade tea shandies of “any” tea and disgusting flat pop/cream soda baking in the warm Spring sunshine. That Old Harold was a lucky, lucky man
View attachment 2393422View attachment 2393451Tea shandy ss from @Marmalade Atkins

sage lemonade wtf?! Mmmm stuffing flavour drink? No thanks!
thyme would be slightly more appropriate but also not really what you’d want either.
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I can remember where I was when I saw the sideboard thot shots (In a queue at McDonald’s drive thru with ex whose kid would only eat about 3 meals).
---

Maybe her reinvention will have nothing to do with food - well, let’s hope so for the sake of humanity.

Maybe it will be someone who sits silently in a cupboard all day.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

This one? Still there.
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ETA: I scrolled down to the Allegra era and didn't see the chore chart. Not sure when it was posted.

Chore chart was 3rd April 2018. That was still on there earlier this year. If she’s now deleted that, that’s def cos of us mithering over it here. That can only be a good thing in that there’s one less thing to humiliate her son with out there on her socials

interesting to see she’s kept in the evidence of prolific unnecessary spending (3 Cotswold dressers, massive Cotswold dining table, 2 Cotswold shoe benches in the one room, and also her grim unnecessary crockery hoarding)

 

[Livia Fantasy]

She makes everything unnecessarily worse.

Care to repeat that in ~300 replies time? xoxox

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Chore chart was 3rd April 2018

Sorry. It's still there. I was scanning for neon Post Its, for some reason.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Hold on, if the past two years’ timing is anything to go by, shouldn’t the nightmare narc twit be off somewhere ruining her son’s Dad’s holiday with his kids, and deliberately trying to stir tit to upset his ex-wife right around now?

(SS @Marmalade Atkins and @Kebab girl)

 

[Shimmering]

One of the many, many, many, many, many things I about Sir Matt on SKL is that he always credits other cooks whose recipes he borrows.

Yesterday he did a Rick Stein recipe, and recently he did a Nigella one, saying why would he make a new one, as hers was the best. Honest and upfront.

The man is a saint.

I think he did I wirh guest on DKL, she mentions a recipe and he jumps in with "that's a Jamie Oliver recipe isn't it?"

Guest is non committal but inside there are radiators being thrown

 

[HotesTilaire]

I wish I’d been here for Thread 31. Genuinely have zero recollections of anything in my life at that time.

Me too, mainly because I don’t like soleros, but I love a MrFreezee

 

[WoolyMammoth]

I was just going through my photos to delete stuff and this Georgia gif has suddenly made me think of guest’s delicious homemade tea shandies of “any” tea and disgusting flat pop/cream soda baking in the warm Spring sunshine. That Old Harold was a lucky, lucky man
View attachment 2393422View attachment 2393451Tea shandy ss from @Marmalade Atkins

These look like eight large versions of the samples people put in a special plastic storage box at our local doctors to see which urinary tract infection they might have this week. Some with blood, some without.

 

[plentyofpepper]

Yep. Here she is completely contradicting that.
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She does cook the same thing over and over (see: cornbread, nine times this year), but funnily enough, over the years she only really seems concerned about what one person in particular likes to eat.

Spoiler

View attachment 2392961View attachment 2392962View attachment 2392965View attachment 2392963View attachment 2392966View attachment 2392968View attachment 2392970View attachment 2392969View attachment 2392972ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. And my Irish Mammy and my favourite Irish recipes

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just popping in to ask what the duck about beans is ‘smutty’ !?!?! dare I ask what she’s doing with those beans to make them smutty…?

ETA: choose your smutty fighter:

Personally I’m going with Obscene Beans, based on her track record of doing appalling things with food.