Jack Monroe #524 Not the only or most important voice and presence in this critical area of our life
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So, so bland
She's come pretty damn close, in her own way. She's a former Sunday school teacher and has spoken at Greenbelt many times. Greenbelt did a write-up of one of her performances there - it seemed pretty evangelical and hyper-emotional. Jack was also in her early blogging years prone to quoting or referencing various Bible stories e.g. the Widow's Mite, or using Bible quotes for titles of her blogs in such a way as to subtly align herself with Jesus.
Televangelist would be Jack's perfect career and it's a shame she's not a Deep Southerner and a man. She's got just the right combination of manipulative eloquence, self dramatisation, histrionic personality, and coercive cunning to get a huge congregation and make bank.
Please note that I am not bashing religion here. I have a faith myself, it's just not the sort of faith that justifies taking money off the poor and vulnerable and spending it on sideboards and designer scarfs.
This sort of ‘look how cheaply I can make this!’ showmanship approach of hers worries me too. (No doubt this has been raised before). It’s so specific (yet inaccurate) that it risks playing into the delusions of politicians who are making decisions based on an outdated/inaccurate idea of how much people can survive on, and simplifies a very complex problem.
I’ve seen at least one Tory MP citing her stuff to ‘prove’ that you can live for very little, despite it lacking proper nutrition, not reusing the rest of the ingredients in a timely manner, and often costing a lot in fuel, especially when cooking fresh with titchy amounts of ingredients each time.
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This is not a curry, and certainly not a korma, by any stretch of the imagination. This is the culinary equivalent of her personality. Bland, uninspired, insipid, a poor rip off of something better.
Thread title nomination
That fish looks incredibly undercooked. Chuck that dish in the ocean and it would swim away from you.
Two onions cooked on a very low heat for 8-10 mins. All you’re going to be tasting is crunchy, slightly warm onion.
Not a new post but I enjoyed this reply to guest spouting bollocks. (She was complaining about Sainsburys donating 50p for every product sold from one of their ranges to charity, rather than making the product cheaper, if I remember rightly)
and spices chucked in straight away too so you have the taste of burnt cumin along with raw onions . also coconut milk AND yogurt? if i was at that curry night i legit would have cried
Good heavens, i just listened to the video known in canal-lore as "Boulevard". I was trying to work out what song it was meant to be - the caption mentions Tom Waite.
Can anyone clarify just what she is singing?
She starts
"You got Suru - I'm having a wee!"
None of Tom's songs seem to start that way . . .
I can't even make a guess at the next couple of lines - anyone?
Edited to add - I've just found what it's supposed to be - OMG, this is not a good or recognisable rendition.
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And her recipes are SO UNHELPFUL (I mean, as well as being just - very unappealing) - that bit at the bottom of the Fish curry page about about adding potatoes - well you wouldn't add them at the end would you?
Can anyone clarify just what she is singing?
She starts
"You got Suru - I'm having a wee!"
None of Tom's songs seem to start that way . . .
I can't even make a guess at the next couple of lines - anyone?
Edited to add - I've just found what it's supposed to be - OMG, this is not a good or recognisable rendition.
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And her recipes are SO UNHELPFUL (I mean, as well as being just - very unappealing) - that bit at the bottom of the Fish curry page about about adding potatoes - well you wouldn't add them at the end would you?
You've just given me an awful flashback to when I cooked her aubergine 'vindaloo' for the slop along. The onion, the onion!
It was so so bad.
Slopalong #2 You can’t polish a turd, but you can cover it in parsley
Surely she must have burnt a few pans and ruined some food along the way, in trying her "different" method. I mean, science. There's no way it could have worked, not even randomly. She must know that. Like a child making mud pies and insisting you eat them.
tattle.life
I see she is still BUSY! Good for her. I don't know what the UK would do without her tireless campaigning....
Two teaspoons each of cumin and turmeric and a pinch of chili. No coriander, no garam masala (yes I know that’s a spice blend), no cardamon.
I bet the good people of Southend breathed a sigh of relief when she shacked up with Leggy so the ‘charity curry’ nights ended. They were probably tossing coins down at storehouse to see whose fate it was to go along to the next one.
I bet the good people of Southend breathed a sigh of relief when she shacked up with Leggy so the ‘charity curry’ nights ended. They were probably tossing coins down at storehouse to see whose fate it was to go along to the next one.
I love all sorts of curries. I would be so disappointed if I went to one of her curry nights and was faced with fishy raisin custard and a big bowl of chickpeas, tomatoes and warm crunchy onions.
As chance would have it, I had The Pauper's Cookbook, too
(Jocasta Innes IIRC). It disintegrated from use - and yes, you are right, it was "gruel-y", but stuff was edible. I replaced it but it was a New Improved Revised Edition or something, and I didn't like it (plus I was a bit less pov by then) so I gave it to the charity shop.Unfortunately all "very cheap meal" cook books tend to be a bit Spartan, relying heavily as they do on cabbage, potatoes and porridge, but at least the Pauper's stuff didn't look like cat vomit with a sprig of parsley on it.
My other stalwart was (I think) called Feed your Family for £5/week (Bernadine Lawrence) - again a bit bland, but this time leaning on lentils - and edible.
I can afford corned beef now
!On a serious, note - no-one has to rely on guest. There are other budget cookbooks out there - cheaper to buy than hers and the food may be (as you say) "Bastille jail tower", but at least no-one looks at it, and looks at the cat litter tray, and wonders which will be worse. . . .
And as you say - they are fun to read. A much better writing style (not that she sets a high bar . . .)
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I don’t think she knows what a teaspoon is tbh. There’s no way that had even two teaspoons of turmeric in. I bet she uses a teeny tiny spoon she stirs tea with - hence tea spoon.
Sorry to quote myself like a sad hausfrau, but I just read through this again and I'm so cross. Cooking this according to instruction would not result in anything at all palatable and would possibly ruin two pans, because she's a stupid lazy dick who's either just made this up (and whatever this is on her website isn't hers) OR she missed a step writing it on her blog (maybe a tin of coconut milk??) and then copied it verbatim into her book and no one checked it. I would possibly be less angry if half the bleeping comments from dopes making it hadn't commented on the dryness!! The ones who said it was delicious are beyond hope. It's gastritis in a bowl.
"Charity Curry Night" with the charity part a complete afterthought. Doing good playing second fiddle to producing slop.
I'd love to have seen that deleted tweet from the smol one
Whilst perusing your slopalong (tyfatyd), I zeroed in on this line re: the whole garlic cloves just perching on top of the slop-non-slop.
"At least it looked a bit curry-ish at this point, though those garlic cloves were concerning me. Are we supposed to eat them like that? Hmm.
So I cooked it for another ten minutes, and this was the end result. Are you ready for your close up?"
And it's brought me back to something I was mithering about the other day with SarahCoxDhalGate from the KnockOffDishoomDhal "If using fresh garlic, the size doesn't matter so much here, as it has a long, slow cook to soften it; I like to leave mine fairly chunky, to find later on as sweet, hedonistic surprises."
So yes, you were supposed to eat them like that, to find later on as a sweet, hedonistic surprise, dear heart.
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