Jack Monroe #524 Not the only or most important voice and presence in this critical area of our life

[Ablemabel]

I’ll never get over when her then-OH’s father got out the vacuum cleaner in the bungamansion. I would have cringed myself inside out in mortification and shame if anyone visiting my house felt they needed to clean.

Yes! No one is going to be doing this at the house of someone you barely know, unless there is a significant problem. Mortifying.

 

[Julia Edwards]

Yes this!! You’re a wonder!

(and clearly I remembered it completely sideways but you still knew what I meant, thank you!)

 

[Mr Krabs]

I'm happy for Rayner to be a mini or uber twit but please nobody tell me Grace Dent is!

I sometimes think Jack wanted to be Grace more than any others - makeup and 'fashion' etc

Shan’t myself but I know people who’ve worked with Grace Dent and she sounds like a knob to be honest. My apologies. I’ve unfortunately had my illusions shattered about quite a few media types over the years, hence my crabby personality.

 

[hytuhh]

I've posted this tiny clip of intense irritation before but figured the new Fraus might not have seen it.


The twit can't cook. Everything is performance. She crooks her elbow right up in the air as you would if you were stirring the contents of a deep pot but then performatively tosses the same cooking vessel about as you would if you were toasting seeds in a shallow pan. She just things to try and look cheffy but she fails if you know anything about cooking.

Same with this one here where she tries to look like she knows how to sharpen a knife but is bleeping ruining them



Whaddacunt.

The post-it notes really annoy me they look like they are half peeling off anyway but imagine when the window is open or you're running round the kitchen, they'd be falling off everywhere. Oh my, can you even imagine down the sides of the cooker or the floor

 

[RandomFishOils]

I've posted this tiny clip of intense irritation before but figured the new Fraus might not have seen it.


The twit can't cook. Everything is performance. She crooks her elbow right up in the air as you would if you were stirring the contents of a deep pot but then performatively tosses the same cooking vessel about as you would if you were toasting seeds in a shallow pan. She just things to try and look cheffy but she fails if you know anything about cooking.

Same with this one here where she tries to look like she knows how to sharpen a knife but is bleeping ruining them



Whaddacunt.

Her son appears to be around four inches tall and enjoy standing on worktops, just to the left of a lit hob, whilst holding a camera very, very still. He’s certainly a bit oddball if he identifies as a small tripod.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Okay this made me laugh so here's a bit of tea that shouldn't give anyone's identity away! (Yes I realise I am now just like Jack saying I'm not sticking around and then, in fact, sticking around.)

Re. DKL - Yep, Matt couldn't stand her once they started working together, but he wasn't even keen on the idea to start with. Another SK regular who is friends with Matt (but who wasn't on DKL) complained and said Jack's whole thing felt 'off', but for whatever reason the producers went ahead with the choice. It caused them a major headache - she was specifically asked to stop picking arguments on social media but ignored them. It also wound the crew up that she'd claim the show and prep was taking her ludicrous hours every day, which made them look like they were breaking all sorts of rules. Obviously it was nothing like the hours she claimed. Source said (verified on Twitter, but sent this by DM early hours of a Saturday morning so I suspect they may have regretted it!) that it was made very clear to Jack that she wasn't doing the prep she should and wasn't behaving in a professional manner but she ignored it. Their theory is that she must have known there was no chance of the production crew or Matt wanting to work with her again, but she chose to spin it as a big success on social media. In terms of industry insiders calling her out - one publisher has been speaking out against her for years after they asked her to contribute a recipe for a charity cookbook. Jack said yes then ignored all further contact, until finally the publisher got back a response along the lines of Jack's Kickstarter and Patreon excuses, e.g. please stop hassling me it's very bad for my mental health, I've had a very hard time etc. There was also some incident I don't know the details of with a BBC Good Food demo and they now won't touch her for anything live. Oh and also a photographer who worked with Jack on a few different media things said she'd have a new designer something every time they saw her and it was always 'oh a friend treated me' or 'I bought this with my book advance' etc.

Oh finally someone who Jack seems to think is her pal on Twitter used to contact me all the time about her and wanted to help me to create a podcast. It almost makes me feel bad for her when I see her interact with them.

I will obviously sell out anyone's and everyone's confidentiality if anyone can dish the truth about Dordrecht.

This is hilarious, thank you for sharing!! (You would also be very welcome at Jess Taylor's thread if there's anything relevant) We'd all sell out anyone's and everyone's confidentiality for the truth about Dordrecht - on pain of death. Closest we got was the person who distantly knew Harold but sadly even they could not solve this mystery ... maybe we should start a true crime podcast and lay out the evidence? Podcast of the humorous "shitting on the floor at my wedding" variety of course not the exploitative variety

I’ll never get over when her then-OH’s father got out the vacuum cleaner in the bungamansion. I would have cringed myself inside out in mortification and shame if anyone visiting my house felt they needed to clean.

Wow, do we have a link to this? Dad would be elderly too, OH was reportedly much older than Jack ... fancy having such a filthy house that a pensioner who should be sitting down at their time of life starts cleaning up!

 

[Captainmouse]

Excuse me tender one but she’s a BOY.

View attachment 2285532
View attachment 2285533

Except for when there’s a super cool edgy tshirt to be worn.

View attachment 2285534

Please mr burglar, have a look at my door locks

 

[RandomFishOils]

I've posted this tiny clip of intense irritation before but figured the new Fraus might not have seen it.


The twit can't cook. Everything is performance. She crooks her elbow right up in the air as you would if you were stirring the contents of a deep pot but then performatively tosses the same cooking vessel about as you would if you were toasting seeds in a shallow pan. She just things to try and look cheffy but she fails if you know anything about cooking.

Same with this one here where she tries to look like she knows how to sharpen a knife but is bleeping ruining them



Whaddacunt.

In the second clip, she appears surprised to be filmed. Either she isn’t aware that the person filming her is squashed between her and the cooker or (now hear me out) she’s filmed it herself with a tripod on the worktop. And laughed at herself.

Receipt:

 

[markcorriganscrisps]

This is hilarious, thank you for sharing!! (You would also be very welcome at Jess Taylor's thread if there's anything relevant) We'd all sell out anyone's and everyone's confidentiality for the truth about Dordrecht - on pain of death. Closest we got was the person who distantly knew Harold but sadly even they could not solve this mystery ... maybe we should start a true crime podcast and lay out the evidence? Podcast of the humorous "shitting on the floor at my wedding" variety of course not the exploitative variety



Wow, do we have a link to this? Dad would be elderly too, OH was reportedly much older than Jack ... fancy having such a filthy house that a pensioner who should be sitting down at their time of life starts cleaning up!

OT but I totally forgot Jess Taylor existed as I started lurking and reading and stopped as too rage inducing (as was in 'the field'/am now adjacent to it ) but am on holiday and blood is approx 76% alcohol at most times, so I may be able to handle this atm.

Today I am mostly distressed by the repugnant health hazard kitchen rug and the knife arse shaking. Y THO.

 

[Captainmouse]

There was an ongoing dispute on DKL between guest and Sir Forearms, involving real lemons v Jif lemon juice - guest made several niggles about it, and at one point was on a monitor in the background throwing and catching a lemon while Forearms was presenting/talking to another cook. It was so distracting, so unprofessional, so immature, so on-brand for guest. I'm scarlet for you, hun (guest).

Was that where @passiveagressivelemon came into being?

 

[TrolleyParton]

Gawd, Leggy's kitchen gives me even worse heebies than Jack's but you can see that Jack is absolutely trying to emulate the look of this in her own place.

 

[MooBelle]

I've posted this tiny clip of intense irritation before but figured the new Fraus might not have seen it.


The twit can't cook. Everything is performance. She crooks her elbow right up in the air as you would if you were stirring the contents of a deep pot but then performatively tosses the same cooking vessel about as you would if you were toasting seeds in a shallow pan. She just things to try and look cheffy but she fails if you know anything about cooking.

Same with this one here where she tries to look like she knows how to sharpen a knife but is bleeping ruining them



Whaddacunt.

I've seen these before but just noticed in the first one the fake moustache collection from a corner shop in 1979.
She's just so bleeping weird. Not in a fun and funky eccentric way (which is how she thinks she comes across) but in a staring at her trying to work out the most polite way to deal with this situation kind of way.
Oh and Jack, as always babes nobody thinks for one second the boy took these. Unless of course you made him. What you actually have done is just filmed your self pretending to be a chef and then put it on the Internet. It's a wee bit pathetic. Hope that helps!

 

[Foxvint]

Totally off on a tangent, but while compiling the Bread and Jam shite, I’ve just come across one of her old fart articles and I spy a contradiction here…

Spoiler: Spoiler for SS

2013: In making the argument that CLEVER children like her DESERVE grammar school, she enters the infants with the reading age of a seven year old and ALL the parent governors “joke” that they’ll bring her down a peg or two.
View attachment 2285810This article absolutely typifies “socialist” ME ME ME guest, by the way.

I'm A Socialist... BUT I Support Southends Grammar Schools.

I have to profoundly disagree with Labour Councillor Julian Ware-Lane's allegations that grammar school places go to children who are 'coached' or other Essex children apparently undeserving of pla...

web.archive.org

2019: In this tale, her reading skillz have become examples of her “autistic superpowers” in the face of the patriarchy, and these formative events have changed somewhat. Now she’s six, it’s long after she’s entered school and it’s just ONE evil SNEERING parent Governor
View attachment 2285814

Go, Greta. Autism is my superpower too | Jack Monroe

Like 16-year-old climate campaigner Greta Thunberg, I think differently. If only certain blinkered men could respect that…

www.theguardian.com

She cannot be trusted to tell the truth about one single solitary bleeping thing.

Oh, and she’s definitely here. duck off, guest. This forum is about you, not for you.

The taking her down a peg or 2 quote, along with several other allegations she's made - the teacher who said she was only good for flipping burgers, all the ones who said she'd never amount to anything that she was gonna put on blast in a book dedication (strong Father Ted at the golden cleric awards vibes) is such blatant bollocks. I am almost 10 years older than her and teachers would NEVER have spoken like that even in my day. She went to school in 1910 in her twisted little head. I'd love 1 of her former teachers to call her out. Makes them and the school look terrible. Well it would if anyone believed it.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

In the second clip, she appears surprised to be filmed. Either she isn’t aware that the person filming her is squashed between her and the cooker or (now hear me out) she’s filmed it herself with a tripod on the worktop. And laughed at herself.

Receipt:

View attachment 2286639

I too might be a bit pissed off if guest were honking away to all and sundry about how she'd had her eye on my kitchen for years and now IT'S HERS

 

[Wooh]

Jack Monroe #523 Everything she does is pointless busywork that solves nothing

We use canal as the word cabal can be offensive to Jewish people, Jack called us 'sad little hausfraus' and we added Herr for Manc, Geets and the other blokes. GrunkaLunka was a Frau who infamously caught up in record time, leading to us being on a Grunka when we are catching up. Hold on, hold...

tattle.life

Enjoyed the lack of irony in just the first two minutes:

"Well, I say friend; I follow him on Twitter"; and

"I don't have a hat*; feel free to throw money at me."

* note: while this was prior to the purchase of the Stetson(!), it is a lie that she had no hats. No further submissions at this time, your Honour.

 

[SleevelessSlopSlinger]

I've posted this tiny clip of intense irritation before but figured the new Fraus might not have seen it.


The twit can't cook. Everything is performance. She crooks her elbow right up in the air as you would if you were stirring the contents of a deep pot but then performatively tosses the same cooking vessel about as you would if you were toasting seeds in a shallow pan. She just things to try and look cheffy but she fails if you know anything about cooking.

Same with this one here where she tries to look like she knows how to sharpen a knife but is bleeping ruining them



Whaddacunt.

Just no. Why the ever-loving duck would you show that filthy, cluttered kitchen to people, especially with you in it faffing around with food like someone who was raised in the jungle by wolves and has been given cutlery for the first time to use in 30 years?

 

[griftalo]

The taking her down a peg or 2 quote, along with several other allegations she's made - the teacher who said she was only good for flipping burgers, all the ones who said she'd never amount to anything that she was gonna put on blast in a book dedication (strong Father Ted at the golden cleric awards vibes) is such blatant bollocks. I am almost 10 years older than her and teachers would NEVER have spoken like that even in my day. She went to school in 1910 in her twisted little head. I'd love 1 of her former teachers to call her out. Makes them and the school look terrible. Well it would if anyone believed it.

I think she went to Mallory Towers, but wishes it had been St Trinian’s.

 

[RandomFishOils]

Gawd, Leggy's kitchen gives me even worse heebies than Jack's but you can see that Jack is absolutely trying to emulate the look of this in her own place.

Oh absolutely. She totally thirsts for this level of upper-middle class casual luxury, but always just misses the mark. Instead of a double fridge with wine compartment, there’s a single Smeg; instead of a 120cm Lacanche range, there’s a 60cm Rangemaster; and instead of a dumb waiter, there’s just a dumb wastrel.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Oh absolutely. She totally thirsts for this level of upper-middle class casual luxury, but always just misses the mark. Instead of a double fridge with wine compartment, there’s a single Smeg; instead of a 120cm Lacanche range, there’s a 60cm Rangemaster; and instead of a dumb waiter, there’s just a dumb wastrel.

BIB - too early?

 

[Notaninstamumeither]

I’d imagine her teachers don’t even remember her, whilst they continue to live rent free in her head. Along with many others. (Is Jack a landlord?!) She would not have stood out in any way, despite being a crazy, challenging maverick who was expelled, that is.