Jack Monroe #509 The Silence of the Scams.

[traumatised sideboard]

I would like to retrospectively apologise for November 2020 TS putting one of Brenda's bangers in Jack's filthy paw, it is on reflection quite revolting. Perhaps you will enjoy the other sausage I photoshopped around the same time?

 

[moldwarp]

I had read most this before I think. But it does serve as a timely reminder of how she's never changed, and trots out the same old tactics every time she's caught out. Just like the December/January "I know I've been awful but I'm going to make up to you, sincerely, Jack Monroe" grovel on Patreon that she STILL hasn't lifted a finger to rectify.

Didn't the same thing happen again on Kickstarter (or on another crowd funder platform) for another book as well? So many scams I really am losing track!

Exactly. I mean, sometimes I think so myself, you've been posting on these threads for 3 years, yes you like the other posters they're witty and lovely, but isn't it a bit petty and obsessive, the same threads for 3 years?

Then I remember stuff like the kickstarter.

It's genuinely vital that people like Jack DO get called out. Just because the manipulation and fraud is low level in terms of quantum and fame, doesn't mean it's not damaging - to the most vulnerable as well.

When the emperor is parading through the streets demanding adoration, but is wearing no clothes....it needs to be talked about.

 

[Geetbo]

Yes. I’ve been on it a few times in the audience. You have to write your questions on a piece of paper first and the producers choose the questions they want to ask. The audience is carefully chosen too. You have a phone interview first.

Im thinking "Wtf happened in Dordrecht!?" wouldnt get chosen.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Talking of Schofield …

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

‘I filmed with Jodie Marsh once’

Jodie, avoiding stepping on this lady's Rug of Doom.

 

[Celeste90]

My OH LEFT but came back with a new kettle. Will I say 'why you sob, Russell hobb' softly, gently to myself every time I go in the kitchen?

Yes, absolutely x

Ps don't try to me by my pink kitchen. WARNED

Edit for

 

[Geetbo]

I would like to take a moment to thank Philip Schofield for the fact I had only 4 pages to grunk today.

 

[MoistenedGussets]

Eyes Down for a full house ...

 

[MancBee]

Mostly makeup free? You're either wearing it or you're not, you boofhead.
Out of all the Jacks I dislike the makeup/posing one the most. That's the one that pings my bra strap hard.

I dislike ALL Jacks equally. I hate to discriminate.

 

[nothanksbabes]

I know exactly what she's like but every time I see another of her sympathy vampire posts I feel like I'll never recover. How does anyone fall for it? I know people ran out of patience, but others are so desperate to be seen to be 'kind' that they suspend all critical thinking. And it's not kind at all to let her get away with this shit, not least to the people she scams, but to her, enabling her to get into bigger and bigger messes she can't get herself out of.

The way she's written that last Kickstarter update you'd think she was terminally ill, working through her last days. Fucking malingering cunt.

 

[HotesTilaire]

After the “a girl called Jack” big yard sale someone posted a message on her blog or twitter saying they she should ask people to donate by PayPal
Squig Zero there.

 

[Jelly Bean]

The contrast between Mrs Gloss guest and other SM/blog guest is quite bizarre.
On Mrs Gloss she is this ditzy girl about town spending lots of money on makeup and going out all the time, elsewhere AT THE SAME TIME she is poor, sad, lonely and rinsing beans.
Very odd.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

#ThrowbackThursday: from guest's archives again - Come to Bed Parmigiana

Parmigiana means parmesan cheese, which this recipe doesn't use. So it's not parmigiana, is it?

This is apparently the first romantic dinner guest ever made for LJC:

"11 months ago today, I turned up to work late, sleepless, an incoherent babbling wreck chewed up by an 18 month landmark court trial and with bright copper dye fading from my wiry, tousled mania of hair. I left my walking stick in the lobby, and limped in to work…to find a hand thrust towards me in a polite gesture of welcome, a smile, a curt hello. She introduced herself. I apologised seven times for my lateness and my pulled-from-a-car-wreck appearance. She was firm and professional, and she smiled at me again. And I felt that selfsame car wreck collide with my solar plexus and toss me down a rabbithole of giddy headspinning highs and that soaring, almost nauseatingly disorienting feeling of time stopping and slowing and turning on its head. I stumbled away, a new crush ablaze across my cheeks and in every tip of my fingers, burning coiled springs in the soles of my feet, a song whispering in the cold, grey, slumbering chamber of my strange little heart. And then I went home, and did what any self respecting 21st century romantic heroine would do; I followed her on Twitter.

Fast forward a few weeks and, having established that my paramour was mutually curious, I found myself standing frozen in my kitchen, petrified, with a wooden spoon in my hand, wondering what to cook for her imminent arrival. I settled on this, and it has become eponymous, to me, with falling in love. It is not flashy, nor expensive; no grand gestures required. It requires a little patience, but very simple ingredients. It is homely, comforting, nourishing, the culinary equivalent of a soft warm body wrapped around your own. It delights, it satisfies, both firm and tender, messy and irreverent, hot and saline and sticky and sweet, and so much more than the sum of its parts.

It took her a month to pluck up the courage to tell me she doesn’t like pasta, but I love her regardless."

Imagine eating slop for a month because you're too polite to say no ...

Guest clarified elsewhere that they met on The Victoria Derbyshire Show and she was a mess because she'd been on a wild night out. No wonder LJC was annoyed with her

 

[Veronicaaa]

Yes. And she was insistent he was racist. One of the characters was a teacher called Miss Tutelage and had curly hair. Jack went on an absolute meltdown on Twitter and his representatives released a statement saying that the character wasn't black.

I think Jack assumed she was black because she'd never heard the word 'tutelage' before and therefore assumed it had something to do with Desmond Tutu. Not even joking.

 

[HotesTilaire]

moving in with Leggy -Jack loses £5k deposit she had put on a flat
Wetherspoons tray/purse theft incident - has to pay a £2k deposit tomorrow
Oct 19 - ”simjacked” on her bank and paypal, 6 months earnings aka £5k taken

it always happens to Jack.So bloody, ruddy unlucky.

 

[Elsie Ben Felyn]

I really think guest and Tina had some sort of otherworldly connection - when I saw her in the Tina wig I felt it. So much in common and so many of her songs just seem to fit her.
Simply the guest
What’s glove got to do with it
Mad Guest Beyond the Walls of the Thunderclap.
We don’t need another CCJ
I could go on and I can’t wait for guest’s take on it

Nutroast Shitty Biscuits

 

[lilykestrel]

Here's a selection of public updates from the Kickstarter for those who haven't seen. You can peruse it as much as you like here (Cooking on a Bootstrap Kickstarter page).

Also lol, forgot she said her Nan was her copy editor, and she uses 'ordinary people' to test her recipes.

Spoiler: Kickstarter screenshots

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quoting myself like a ninny to say, I've just reread this and been hit by the realisation of her saying "I am loathe [sic] to name and shame you but if I have to, I will, so the others know not to pay attention to your sniping and griping" and how ridiculous that is

public naming and shaming of previous backers who criticise you? totally normal behaviour

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I promise to stop doing this for a while after today, but...

This day in history...

2020

We were very excited because Jack was live streaming from the Mayo Palace for the very first time.

She started late and didn't know what the fuck she was doing.

Her signal was shit.

She did weird stuff with her hair.

As usual, we were were apx. 100% of her audience.

Jack thought it went okay.

And ratings get recommissions so...

Yay!

 

[moldwarp]

Let’s all take a minute to think about the pain and injustice Jack decided she experienced when she was called the N word, despite having no known African-Caribbean heritage. Truly humbling.

I really did think that claim was so offensive, because she was obviously never called that word, and it's so sly, using a word that has been used to oppress and insult Black people and therefore sneakily align herself with the systemic racism experienced by people of colour.

 

[ClarenceBeakes]

She looks like she is mid-unsatisfactory orgasm here.

As a lifetime vendor and provider of unsatisfactory orgasms, can vouch for this