Jack Monroe #483 The plans are going well, it’s the execution that seems to be lacking

[MooBelle]

I come here expecting Jack based mithering, hilarious jokes and tenderroot care and what do I get? Cheese mites! bleeping Cheese mites!

WARNED.

The cheese mites are preferable to the Celeb Gossip thread at the moment with their chatting about dogs licking Bovril off of willies.
I love Tattle.

 

[stunrw]

The cheese mites are preferable to the Celeb Gossip thread at the moment with their chatting about dogs licking Bovril off of willies.
I love Tattle.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Cheese mites?

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Completely off topic but did anyone see Poppy O'Toole on Saturday Kitchen last weekend say "quim" four times, genuinely without a clue what it meant?!

Yes, bless her. Poor Poppy has clearly never read a Sarah Waters novel.
But clearly, she's far too busy providing quality potato content for her millions of followers on the tiktok rather than pretending to read eleventy books a week.

Makes you think.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Cheese mites?

I'm going to gift that info to my family and friends

 

[Whiffy McBiffy]

I would rather French kiss a hobo than eat ASDA own brand crab paste

 

[stunrw]

I'm going to gift that info to my family and friends

Just sent it to my colleague who was tucking into a cheese salad roll.

Apparently I am a fotze

 

[Suffolkmum]

I have a home management book from the 1920’s which gives instructions on removing cheese mites. It involves placing the cheese in a bowl of cold water and watching them wriggle out. I could have sent it to Jack as an idea for her useless book.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

And loving the jackassery spawned by the ill advised mating of bad grammar and pomposity, giving us this gentle suggestion that The Echo please actually repeats the claim

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[StringyMango]

Don't duck with Wensleydale. No fruit EVER.

 

[House of Carbonara]

Also Spain adjacent and agreed. A good Manchego is a thing of beauty!

Not Spain adjacent but have Spanish friends. We were given a very nice semi matured Manchego at Christmas, and I totally agree with you.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

I mean you'd think she'd know better...
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Oooh, what a massive cunté.

 

[Humblepumble]

A co-parent when it suits; a single mother when it doesn't

 

[GigglePops]

I would rather French kiss a hobo than eat ASDA own brand crab paste

I'd rather blow him than eat Jack's slop

 

[jf99]

Fellow fromage frau here. Can confirm that it is highly unlikely that ASDA 'Hard Cheese' is going to be anything like Comte considering that it's meant to be a cheap substitute for Parmesan or Grana Padano. Comte is generally even more spenny than even the more expensive (aged) Parmesan.

 

[Hefflen]

Remind me, where does "Makes you think" come from? Or is it just us????

 

[Jelly Bean]

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A co-parent when it suits; a single mother when it doesn't

So the eight years friendship followed by 5 years solid co parenting takes us through The Poverty© and beyond. So yet again - and this is treading very old ground - where the duck was this saintly father when SB was cold, hungry and wearing tight shoes? Why didn't he notice? Why didn't he give Monroe child support?
Unless of course, and this might be a leap, she was lying.

 

[Celeste90]

Oh don't, I'm still cringing about using the word ostensibly incorrectly at work over two years ago

You think thats bad, I once called a colleague a nonce (replace p with n!) when what I actually meant to call him was a numpty

 

[Country Bumpkin]

I was gonna say 'yay Tuesday!' But then I remembered no matter what Jack we get, Chaos Jack, Namaste Jack, Angry Jack...it's all bleeping Jack and she usually says something that makes me super angry.

I still can't look away though, send get-a-lifeos.

There is some sort of morbid curiosity isn't there?

 

[stunrw]

You think thats bad, I once called a colleague a ponce (replace p with n!) when what I actually meant to call him was a numpty

At the risk of doing a Jack and elevenerifing that……I managed to call my (German) boss a nazi in a email because the changed “nos”

So instead of the email reading: These nos (numbers) will kill us, it changed it to These nazis will kill us