Jack Monroe #483 The plans are going well, it’s the execution that seems to be lacking

[I'm not actually here]

If she's gonna be back and boring, she could have the good grace to at least give us a little chaos, for old times sake.

What's the point of her again?!?

Tuesday so there is a chance of chaoi.

I've noticed something has changed on the Hellsite again. When you search her name vs her handle, you get different results. Before, it used to throw up the same/similar results for either. I did wonder for a while if she was getting SEO or reputation management help, but I don't believe that now. Think it is just a quirk of Twitter whilst Elon fiddles with his "brittle" code. Her timeline cleanses won't work for anybody who searches her name, it seems, at the moment. So, tough, Jack. You can ask seemingly sickly sweet questions all you want...

 

[Valiofthedolls]

This is soooo funny, especially when you consider that Jack had a total hissy fit when the Southend Echo dared to print something similarly critical in their letters page. How DARE the Guardian, who Jack has WRITTEN FOR, betray her like this??

Clearly she never saw it (or didn’t until she just grunked here).

Hi Jack! Because you’re very lazy, I’m helpfully providing your pompous reaction from the last time a newspaper BETRAYED you by publishing a letter you didn’t like, so you can just change a couple of words, then cut and paste to those JUDASES at the GUARDIAN.

Spoiler: Insufferable tw🎩t

In case you want to really stick it to them by telling them about BILL NIGHY and popping a photo of you in TANZANIA in there too, here’s the rest. You know, cos you’ve deleted it.

Dear Mr Farrington, The Mail believes oral sex and Pringles give you cancer. Maybe you shouldn't believe what they write about me either.

Dear Editor, It appears that your correspondent P. Farrington in Tuesdays Letters page has fallen foul of the first rule of Common Sense and Decency that is, do not believe a word that...

web.archive.org

 

[StatusWoe]

I bleeping hate cheese.

I eat cheese but also have a fear of cheese mites. I don't like them, I want them to stop eating all the cheese. I'm not prepared to make friends with them. I hope they get swallowed by a brambly mouse. I bet Jack's bungalow contains an entire nation of cheese mites.

 

[NellieBoo]

I bleeping hate cheese.

Back to business, the only times I've ever come across crab paste was when it was used as a vector for murder in a Poirot book and in a jolly hockysticks midnight feast way by Enid Blyton. I'm shocked to my vegan core to find it still exists to this day (not really).

Did that article have a point btw because if it did, I couldn't find it. Send glasses-o.

Crab Paste - A Vector For Murder. I am a very TIRED ninny as I was on call all night and this has made me laugh so much .

 

[House of Carbonara]

Posted without comment. (But possibly some sniggering)

View attachment 2010390

Too funny for words, dear !
Saved for future use

 

[Ellabella]

I'm loving all the specialist cheese talk. Funny how some fraus know more about cheese than THE self-appointed Literal Food Expert. Makes you think.

I'm a horrific cheese snob. Years ago I had a huge online argument with someone who insisted wensleydale & apricot was delicious and befitting of a Christmas cheese board.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Ha, I’ve just noticed in her Dear Mr Farrington pompous wank letter that she customised her Pride t shirt. That round neckline wasn’t doing her 36DDs any favours!

 

[House of Carbonara]

FROMAGE FRAU

Missed it first time - absolutely excellent!
From one Fromage Frau to another.

 

[fran katzenjammer]

I eat cheese but also have a fear of cheese mites. I don't like them, I want them to stop eating all the cheese. I'm not prepared to make friends with them. I hope they get swallowed by a brambly mouse. I bet Jack's bungalow contains an entire nation of cheese mites.

View attachment 2010505

Cheese Mites???

This is something that I did not need to know.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

OFF TOPIC: It’s still too early to be awake here but I was woken by some inclement weather so I’m going to go back to sleep and try to dream a dream (even though I love you all ~and~ cheese very much) that when I wake up the Jack Monroe threads will no longer be dominated by cheese chat.

Spoiler

ON TOPIC:

Spoiler

twit

ETA PS Jack, is that jacket one of the “investment pieces” you bought to sell in “hard times” too, you grifting charlatan?

 

[Mr Krabs]

Ha, I’ve just noticed in her Dear Mr Farrington pompous wank letter that she customised her Pride t shirt. That round neckline wasn’t doing her 36DDs any favours!

View attachment 2010541

Some people are gay.

Not Jack tho.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Ha, I’ve just noticed in her Dear Mr Farrington pompous wank letter that she customised her Pride t shirt. That round neckline wasn’t doing her 36DDs any favours!

View attachment 2010541

Sleeves rolled up too, of course

 

[AlwightDallin]

I’m lactose intolerant so cheese can p*ss off. Halloumi doesn’t make me sick though. So I love that squeaky b*stard.

Grifty Kitchen is gone from my local big BIG Tesco as well which surprised me as they’re still selling Christmas clothes in the sale. Not sure what happens to returned unsold books? Discount bookstores? Pulped to make better books?

One thing we can be sure on - Jack states she is happy, well and good, which means she’s anything but.

 

[RinsingHoops]

I eat cheese but also have a fear of cheese mites. I don't like them, I want them to stop eating all the cheese. I'm not prepared to make friends with them. I hope they get swallowed by a brambly mouse. I bet Jack's bungalow contains an entire nation of cheese mites.

View attachment 2010505

WTAF I can’t be the only person who went and googled this. Never eating cheese again!

 

[Country Bumpkin]

There's one crazy thing I don't get about her. She loves to sound like she knows what she's on about right? See cheese chat, it's proven she doesn't, however, she has got things so wrong, so publicly so many times that you would have thought by now that she would have learnt to research it a bit before putting it out there. But no, she blindly spouts tit that people constantly pull her up on. She desperately wants to snark at people is my take on this. Its what keeps her going. What a sad existence

 

[Hold my beans]

OFF TOPIC: It’s still too early to be awake here but I was woken by some inclement weather so I’m going to go back to sleep and try to dream a dream (even though I love you all ~and~ cheese very much) that when I wake up the Jack Monroe threads will no longer be dominated by cheese chat.

Spoiler

View attachment 2010529

ON TOPIC:

Spoiler

twit
View attachment 2010556ETA PS Jack, is that jacket one of the “investment pieces” you bought to sell in “hard times” too, you grifting charlatan? View attachment 2010547View attachment 2010548

Another wardrobe fail. She really is the perfect example of someone that can spend a fortune on an outfit and still look like a jumble sale

 

[DinosaurSenior]

How I hate this phrase:

"It is with a heavy heart". It's so ridiculously over used for trivial situations. My corner shop uses it on their Facebook page when they've run out of bacon rolls

 

[Foxvint]

OFF TOPIC: It’s still too early to be awake here but I was woken by some inclement weather so I’m going to go back to sleep and try to dream a dream (even though I love you all ~and~ cheese very much) that when I wake up the Jack Monroe threads will no longer be dominated by cheese chat.

Spoiler

View attachment 2010529

ON TOPIC:

Spoiler

twit
View attachment 2010556ETA PS Jack, is that jacket one of the “investment pieces” you bought to sell in “hard times” too, you grifting charlatan? View attachment 2010547View attachment 2010548

She looks rough as arseholes in that 1st pic.

Now that she's so happy so calm so content, positively spinning around Maria from Sound of Music style, what's her excuse for not doing these promised blogs? What blows through that empty barn brain?

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

Comté? The Tottenham manager?

When you find out Comté is overhyped:

 

[pumbilical cord]

Tuesday so there is a chance of chaoi.

I've noticed something has changed on the Hellsite again. When you search her name vs her handle, you get different results. Before, it used to throw up the same/similar results for either. I did wonder for a while if she was getting SEO or reputation management help, but I don't believe that now. Think it is just a quirk of Twitter whilst Elon fiddles with his "brittle" code. Her timeline cleanses won't work for anybody who searches her name, it seems, at the moment. So, tough, Jack. You can ask seemingly sickly sweet questions all you want...

I was gonna say 'yay Tuesday!' But then I remembered no matter what Jack we get, Chaos Jack, Namaste Jack, Angry Jack...it's all bleeping Jack and she usually says something that makes me super angry.

I still can't look away though, send get-a-lifeos.