I imagine Diva only nominate her because she still has a lot of followers and they want the exposure.
Jack's new address? AppropriateI have her new address
Of course it never happened. She only appropriates what others have written about and suffered. Seriously, she's an annoying little arsehole but who would want to physically harm her? She's a laughing stock, nothing more.How did they get her mobile number? Maybe, just maybe, that call never happened
Some of them are joke shop syrups surely?Dear tender potato, surely you are aware of Jack's three approaches to hairdressing? One is a visit to Toni and Guy, two is a 'that'll do/happy with that' Jack softly, gently cutting her own hair, and three is the short lived visit to the wonderful Turkish barber who came into Jack's life and changed everything. Until a week later when her hair completely changed again. There may be more. Can we have a timeline reconstruction dearheart @Valiofthedolls?
She butchers the English language. That's not an achievementJack has literally never bothered to put any effort into anything. Even things she enjoys doing and thinks she’s good at.
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Yet despite English being the only subject in which she ever “achieved an A for achievement” on her report cards (and she didn’t actually bother to put any effort into her best subject), for some unfathomable reason everyone also thought she was going to get 15 GCSEs and become a Dr.?!
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Edit
How did all those right-wing people get Jack's telephone number? Where did the dining room table come from? Is Jack now in a furnished flat? Is there a piano there? Is that Jack collecting her son from the same man who, only six months ago failed to notice his son had been deprived of jam?With a “child born out of wedlock”, no less
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I think I may have found the very first time she claims a highly improbable death threat, by the way. Over ten years ago.
I genuinely have no idea what on earth she’s wanging about here and I’ve read it more than once too. I just can’t make any sense of it. I’ll commit and say I think it’s all a load of made up old bollox though. View attachment 2002919View attachment 2002920View attachment 2002921View attachment 2002922View attachment 2002923View attachment 2002924
Even back then she was a highly unreliable narrator, even about things that really happened. It’s January 2013. She says DEAD grandad died the month before, in December.
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He didn’t. View attachment 2002928
Oh, and 8 days after saying this?
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She’d grown .3 of an inch. And become a woman.
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Why does she keep using US terminology? No-one in UK that I know of thinks of or says their weight in lbs, it's in stone -except for medical records which use kilos."102 lbs". That's 7st 4lbs. She now says she's either 9st (126 lbs) or 10st (140 lbs.) She hasn't put on THAT much weight since The Poverty
sorry jack can you confirm, were you wearing a duffel coat and a beanie? it’s not clear at all in this articleI believe I’ve also found the inaugural implausible “everybody clapped and cheered”. Where her son clapped and cheered, then everybody clapped and cheered (while her son said something improbable).
The incidents described below also did not happen, and I fully believe that Jack only wrote this column because she wanted to show off that she had a lovebite.View attachment 2002992View attachment 2002994
What a boring fucking anecdote to write a blog post about. She’s always been a tedious prick. I’ll give her a clap and cheer for consistency there.
(It’s the Rimmel shoplifting nonsense for those who want to skip, as it’s been mithered over before)
Mind you, I’m adopting this as I think this speaks for us all here on the Jack Monroe threads. And it’s in a cacophony of nonsensical Jack speak too. So a bonus.With my BEST FRIEND. View attachment 2002999View attachment 2003000View attachment 2003001View attachment 2003002View attachment 2003003
Nasty, snotty privileged little prick.
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A for achievement and U for effort. To me that suggests she was vomiting out horrible word salads even back then, lots of content but no actual meaning.Jack has literally never bothered to put any effort into anything. Even things she enjoys doing and thinks she’s good at.
View attachment 2003102
Yet despite English being the only subject in which she ever achieved an A for achievement on her report cards (and she didn’t actually bother to put any effort into her best subject), for some unfathomable reason everyone also thought she was going to get 15 GCSEs and become a Dr.?!
View attachment 2003113
People selling Southend pubs in February 2013?Of course it never happened. She only appropriates what others have written about and suffered. Seriously, she's an annoying little arsehole but who would want to physically harm her? She's a laughing stock, nothing more.
Read that bit again, Jack
I don’t get this. Can someone send explanios?
Funny you should mention hamsters, because according to Jack, that’s what boys smell ofFinal Tesco Grifty Kitchen update:
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Jack's magnum opus has gone from my local store, replaced by something called Baked In One. It was there the other day, honking up the shelf, but it has been ignominiously cast out, no doubt by a nefarious Tory doing the bidding of a mendacious Putin farm bot. Unfathomable!
Where will it appear next, in The Works for £1, or shredded for hamster bedding? Eyes are peeled. WARNED.
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