Jack Monroe #482 Absolute Talent Abyss

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I bet she checks here regularly, expecting the chatter to have died down because she’s been silent.

Don’t worry Jack love - you’ve left us with enough content to mither on quite happily for, oh I dunno, equally as long as you’ve failed to deliver Patrecon content. Whilst you continue to have a public profile for grifting purposes, we’ll be here

And ironically this online forum that you hate has organically built more of a community spirit and joy than anything you’ve ever produced. So ‘Boo’, I guess.
 
Reactions: 73

MavisBeacon

I've got a bit of free time on the train this weekend, can't wait to catch up on those 32 blog posts we should have by now! Although maybe she's been too busy fulfilling this month's patreon rewards...

Failing to write for your own free blog is understandable, but failing to provide patreon rewards people have paid for and not pausing it is inexcusable, and by this point I'd call it flat out fraud.
 
Reactions: 57

Valiofthedolls

AlwightDallin said:
On holiday?! In term time!? She is a committed single parent!
Click to expand...
With a “child born out of wedlock”, no less



I think I may have found the very first time she claims a highly improbable death threat, by the way. Over ten years ago.
I genuinely have no idea what on earth she’s wanging about here and I’ve read it more than once too. I just can’t make any sense of it. I’ll commit and say I think it’s all a load of made up old bollox though.

Even back then she was a highly unreliable narrator, even about things that really happened. It’s January 2013. She says DEAD grandad died the month before, in December.

He didn’t.
Oh, and 8 days after saying this?

She’d grown .3 of an inch. And become a woman.
 
Reactions: 63

Wooh

The VBI was funny then, and funnier now.

Sheep, we're all sheep.

Is Jack Monroe the Mandela Effect, or cognitive bias?

Asking the big questions on a Saturday night
 
Reactions: 27
W

witchofwestbyfleet

"102 lbs". That's 7st 4lbs. She now says she's either 9st (126 lbs) or 10st (140 lbs.) She hasn't put on THAT much weight since The Poverty
 
Reactions: 26

Valiofthedolls

I believe I’ve also found the inaugural implausible “everybody clapped and cheered”. Where her son clapped and cheered, then everybody clapped and cheered (while her son said something improbable).

What a boring fucking anecdote to write a blog post about. She’s always been a tedious prick. I’ll give her a clap and cheer for consistency there.
The incidents described below also did not happen, and I fully believe that Jack only wrote this column because she wanted to show off that she had a lovebite.

(It’s the Rimmel shoplifting nonsense for those who want to skip, as it’s been mithered over before)
With my BEST FRIEND.
Nasty, snotty privileged little prick.
Mind you, I’m adopting this as I think this speaks for us all here on the Jack Monroe threads. And it’s in a cacophony of nonsensical Jack speak too. So a bonus.
 
Reactions: 59

CabalofBolorneaise

Nigella has a segment on Saturday kitchen this morning and she needed small people to help her… Jack must be sitting on her hands not to rage because instead of Mom’s smol pixie helping out, Nigella has her niece and nephew!
 
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Hold my beans

How did they get her mobile number? Maybe, just maybe, that call never happened
 
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Valiofthedolls

May 2012, at the height of THE POVERTY. Jack is having larks doing the Live Below the Line challenge.

And Big D has nominated himself for a guest blog spot to tell us that they’re all going skating.
June 2012: At the height of THE POVERTY a little over one month before the original Hunger Hurts, Jack is on holiday (when she is rudely interrupted by a friend telling her she has a letter in the paper, and is miffed they haven’t published it in full)


October 2012: Look what THE POVERTY Jack is buying at the supermarket!

Jack Monroe, Queen of the Dirty Deletes.
 
Reactions: 38

Valiofthedolls

Jack has literally never bothered to put any effort into anything. Even things she enjoys doing and thinks she’s good at.



Yet despite English being the only subject in which she ever “achieved an A for achievement” on her report cards (and she didn’t actually bother to put any effort into her best subject), for some unfathomable reason everyone also thought she was going to get 15 GCSEs and become a Dr.?!


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