Jack Monroe #477 I wish all millionaires cared about others like you do

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Thanks, Jack. Now, forever more, Dido will have to perform the chorus as "and IIIIIIIII ... want to thank (space) you."

 

[elepal]

Haaaaaa!

 

[jordishaw]

A tale of two Ian Duncan Smiths, by Jack Monroe

Spoiler

2018, her blog. This is really oddly written given what comes in the later account cos she makes it sound as if SOMEONE ELSE was speaking while he laughed and she sat there and got angry.

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Regardless, the “poverty stricken single mum” is talking about “being famished with hunger” Iain is “sniggering” while the mum is talking, and Jack is behind him “shaking with rage”


2021, Guardian. The tale is more detailed. Jack is still sitting behind IDS at the beginning and end , but now she’s definitely the single mum doing the talking. The subject now though is not about being “famished with hunger” it’s about the socko sanny pads.
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In this telling then, IDS isn’t “sniggering” while the single mum is talking about hunger while Jack sits behind him “shaking with rage”.

Here, Jack talks, walks back to her seat crying, sits down. IDS says something to the person next to him and then they laugh so hard he “shakes with laughter” (so entirely possibly it was completely unrelated to what she said given she’s no longer saying it).

And she isn’t “shaking with rage at his insolence” in this telling. She had to leave in humiliation.

You literally cannot trust or believe a single word she says.

I'm looking forward to the version where IDS leads a baying pack of Tory Hoorays in a chant of 'PLUG IT UP! PLUG IT UP!' while pelting Jack with rolled up copies of the Metro.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

If any of you want some wholesome content to cleanse Jack from your mind, there's a video of a rugby player rimming someone outside Greggs on the Celeb Gossip thread. You're welcome x

And they say romance is dead
The things some people do for love hey?

 

[threetintender]

Regarding the ‘tea’; she is pretending to be working class by hinting she would never call an evening meal anything else. Yawn.
Another thing. That apparent misunderstanding she had yesterday where she leapt on a comment about the upstairs cop and had a little sneer about gender? What struck me about that exchange was that the squig had in that same tweet referenced JM as ‘a single woman living alone’ and JM didn’t bother to correct them that of course she doesn’t live alone because A CHILD LIVES WITH HER.

 

[Terrible]

Bible Jack is my favourite Jack.


Stan, Eminem
Lyrics 2000

“I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not've got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin' "

 

[MoistenedGussets]

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How is it possible to make SOUP/STEW look unappetising?

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ETA updated photo helps slightly, but not much

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I was hungry. Now I'm not. Jack should be a dietician and anyone wanting to lose weight, show them The Big BooK Of Culinary Horrors.. *all photos provided by J.Monroe

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Engagement mining with the dumbest question ever

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omg the song is called "Thank You", not "Thankyou". I hate how she does this with everything.

 

[HotesTilaire]

The Hattenstone article tbh was a total hatchet job ..whether Jack realises it or not.

He couldn’t wake her up
Her nasally voice
The confessions about pissing all the donations up the wall on alcohol and Sideboards
The posing in the bath full of pennies to show her literally swimming in
cash.

And she was not clever enough to realise he saw straight through her….even though he toes the line on Twitter when referring to her.

It was a hatchet job.

Shatchet job! amirite?

 

[mince]

Mildly grunking, but

 

[Lazarus]

I'm incredibly confused

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Does this mean she’s coming out of the deepest, darkest breakdown since the last one?

 

[Nurseali]

If any of you want some wholesome content to cleanse Jack from your mind, there's a video of a rugby player rimming someone outside Greggs on the Celeb Gossip thread. You're welcome x

Dear Reader

I ran...first time since 1986 sports day

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Don't think LJC likes grifters either, Jack

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Repeating myself like a ninny, but I will eat my interlinear New Testament on a bed of slop if she was ever any of these things.

She says she was baptised as a teen, so could be anywhere between 13 and 19.

Girls' Brigade require you to be a minimum of 18 to be leader, a church-affiliated group may require you to be baptised as well. If she was baptised at 13 she would be too young to be leader, if she was baptised at 19 she couldn't have been a "long-serving leader."

Sunday School teacher would require you to be baptised, and if they appointed someone under the age of 18 to the position of teacher I'd be raising safeguarding concerns.

Ditto worship leader, not mentioned in the recent post but mentioned below. This is a position of responsibility and the church would require you to be baptised to hold it (less so worship group members, but it would be expected as soon as you were regarded as being old enough to make the decision to be baptised).

At most she would hold an assistant position of some sort, which she;s elevenerifed into "leader" and "teacher".

 

[elepal]

I'm looking forward to the version where IDS leads a baying pack of Tory Hoorays in a chant of 'PLUG IT UP! PLUG IT UP!' while pelting Jack with rolled up copies of the Metro.

Kind of them to offer supplies!

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Kind of them to offer supplies!

Would be like throwing a straw down a bowling alley

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

This poor squig, what did she say to get such a salty response?

"hello, please can I have the thing I paid you money to produce and send to me? Thank you."

 

[MoistenedGussets]

Personal anecdote..

I've never known a working class kid that was baptised at a baptist church after being a girls brigade leader, worship leader and a Sunday school teacher. All the kids i grew up with were busy chucking bricks into the cut and poking dead dogs with sticks.
Sunday schools and nice clothes for a Sunday etc. Seems a bit well to do to me.. but that's just me I suppose.

 

[Lazarus]

Regarding the ‘tea’; she is pretending to be working class by hinting she would never call an evening meal anything else. Yawn.
Another thing. That apparent misunderstanding she had yesterday where she leapt on a comment about the upstairs cop and had a little sneer about gender? What struck me about that exchange was that the squig had in that same tweet referenced JM as ‘a single woman living alone’ and JM didn’t bother to correct them that of course she doesn’t live alone because A CHILD LIVES WITH HER.

She also didn’t bother to connect the poster, confirming she’s NB, which I’d have done if I was NB and someone misgendered me.
Especially when 2 short hours ago she was saying:


I’m NB and very open about it…!


10:20 am · 15 Feb 2023·
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[SarcasticEllis]

I’m glad it’s Bible Jack this morning and not Och-Aye-The-Noo Jack.
can’t be doing with her hot takes on Scottish politics today of all days.

 

[BlairWaldorf86]

Dearest Fraus,
I don’t post on Jack’s threads much any more as I don’t have time to grunk (I read the top posts when each thread closes), but I just wanted my 1000th Tattle post to be here, amongst some of the funniest things I have ever read on the internet. It’s been a long time coming as I registered to Tattle in Jan 2019. Love and thank(space)yous to all, and duck you Jack. Now duck off xxx