Jack Monroe #476 Avec Dangereux Dave and Les Pantalons of Beaucoup Grandes Humiliations

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It was a lovely show, genuinely helping families. And I think his passion for this probably stems from his massive weight loss and realisation that small changes can help health.
The idea that Marcus Rashford would actually work with Jack instead of actual professionals is a joke.
 
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Arch nemesis Paul holywood is on tv now.
The way he’s talking about laminating dough, whatever anyone thinks of him, he’s completely and undeniably knowledgeable on what he’s doing. Compare and contrast with Terrible Telly Jack “Jack, why does mince have different fat ratios?” Jack: “it just a does
 
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I predict a performative AA BBQ complete with paddling pools and dancing. No photographic evidence, just barely concealed spite and rage masquerading as Toot Toot! joy.
 
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We’ve now got Mary Berry after Paul Hollywood - they keep scanning the camera past her washboard abs give the rest of us a chance, Mare!
 
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Many pages behind so apols, but the BIB hits the nail on the head.

Jack had many avenues of help. Her parents (for all the reservations I have about their personalities) are obviously supportive of her and SB. His dad and his family all appear to have been there for them. But she made the choice not to ask them for help, when she and her child were supposedly starving and cold, she let her pride and ego get in the way and stopped her from getting help for him. She had so many people around her willing to help, so many safety nets around that SHE MADE A CHOICE NOT TO USE.

Much of what's she says really doesn't ring true but according to her own words, she let her kid suffer this because she chose not to ask any of them for help. THIS is my aneurysm.
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I predict a performative AA BBQ complete with paddling pools and dancing. No photographic evidence, just barely concealed spite and rage masquerading as Toot Toot! joy.
With Valentine’s Day so close I’m expecting an I’m Going on a Date post complete with gurning facetuned selfie and the £300 jacket. She’ll then mysteriously be liking posts on Twitter while she’s supposedly softly, gently falling in love with her delicious best friend.
 
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Went to see what Fingers is up to on the Twitters and turns out he is up for some snark, although this is the only one I can see during my brief scroll, and is really quite measured compared to the flaming oil drum that is our Jackie's Twitter.
 
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My thoughts have always been that when she got pregnant there were probably some collective sighs from her parents, followed by a: ‘don’t come running to me when you’re bloody skint’.
Jack then starving her child and making him wash in freezing cold water, casts this up to her parents to explain why she never asked for help.
 
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Plus later finding out how many twitter followers the date has.

It's pretty mild tbh but I'm just hoping Jack's billy big baw mood extends to replying to one of them.

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It's somewhat early, but "you're telling me you ain't a sue chef" as a thread title suggestion!
 
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yes, this. As it happens I don’t believe she starved and froze at all. She only “admitted” that her parents could have helped and she was too ashamed to ask, because she was trying to align her false tales of destitution with the fact that people were increasingly pointing out that her parents were wealthy.

Her threatening to sue a journalist at the very paper that employs her is sending me, tbh. She’s clearly incredibly salty that she’s been demoted from the bien pensant establishment Guardian to the home of rAcIsTs and gAmMoNs, the Express.
 
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You don't have to pay someone to be your friend, but you do have to pay someone to be your therapist. Which is why they can't be one and the same, Jack, you absolute dummy.
She's always got a "friend" or "friends", hasn't she? She doesn't pay for any service or product, she seems to have a ready supply of "friends" on tap who just so happen to be willing and able to supply her with whatever she needs. She's got so many "friends" that her living room must be like a U2 concert on birthdays and Christmas.
 
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yup.
 
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'A lovely day planned'. Like 1 of her dinner parties where she pictures 400 sausage rolls but not 1 person. I always imagine Cartman surrounded by his dolls and Polly Pissypants. Same energy.
 
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I'm just dropping in from a lovely morning with the New York Times to let you all know that "ninny" is a word but "tincan" is not. (I don't make the rules, OK?
Yay another spelling bee frau! I can't believe I hadn't got ninny yet, maybe it's because I'm EXHAUSTED. Thank space you.
 
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I love that she’s posted a picture of the Express supplement she’s in because she looks like a crackhead. Which she is.
 
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You can't subscribe to her Cookingonabootstrap website. If she means her twitter account, she is using words interchangeably again! Or is she implying she owns Twitter? ELON, WATCH OUT!!!
She definitely used to encourage people to sign up with their email addresses to get notifications of when she dropped a new recipe, she's probably referring to all the personal data she harvested that way.
 
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Totally agree. Her whole povvo life is a huge narc rage at her parents. I pity them immensely.

Jack absolutely revels in writing about their child wearing shoes that were too small, skin red with cold, begging for bread and jam, while mummy slept rough and worked in a brothel.
 
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