Jack Monroe #475 If you have Eamonn Holmes, place him on top of the chicken for added flavor

[hiyaaaacath]

Nobody knows who she is when she volunteers at the foodbank BECAUSE SHE COVERS HER TATTOOS AND CALLS HERSELF JACKIE.
call my mother please, tell her that the youngest child is deceased.

oh hai I’m Brackie

 

[L3moning]

Nobody knows who she is when she volunteers at the foodbank BECAUSE SHE COVERS HER TATTOOS AND CALLS HERSELF JACKIE.
call my mother please, tell her that the youngest child is deceased.

It's Borbara all over again!

 

[hiyaaaacath]

Hey, Jack: repeating "literally" ad nauseam doesn't make something true

The bekind / neckbeard brigade love the inaccurate use of “literally” cuz they’re a bunch of bleeping dimwits

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

Nobody knows who she is when she volunteers at the foodbank BECAUSE SHE COVERS HER TATTOOS AND CALLS HERSELF JACKIE.
call my mother please, tell her that the youngest child is deceased.

She puts on a pair of brightly coloured glasses, some chunky jewellery - takes in a load of tinned fruit and introduces herself as Prune Leith.

 

[TankGirl]

I am also in favour of a hearty, satisfying, flavoursome, portion (and then seconds!! In bed straight from the pan!) of chaos.
I’m in my third trimester pregnant with twins and am very impatient and uncomfortable.

You are going to name them in honour of us aren’t you? May I suggest Ninnie and Grifter?

 

[L3moning]

You are going to name them in honour of us aren’t you? May I suggest Ninnie and Grifter?

Still better names than Powerful Cannon

(and yes I will say this to damn near anything).

 

[TankGirl]

I realise I’m quoting myself like a ninny, but having just watched it I’ve realised this isn’t the full version, that’s about twenty minutes long. It just gets worse and worse, the body count builds up as children are sent into the dark railway tunnel to race and get killed or tasked with throwing bricks at the passing trains which injured the passengers. IIRC at the end there’s a row of stretchers with dead children on them. I think what makes this one so disturbing is that it’s not children choosing to play in dangerous places but its an organised event where they’re being made to do dangerous things by adults.

OMG I HAVE RELIVED THE TRAUMA!!!! Yes this scarred me for bleeping life. And don’t get me started on abandoned fridges with the door still on ….
---

I think I remember that one! The main one for me was 'when you're next at the tip playing hide and seek (all over the place in SE London), don't get in a fridge and die'.

And I never have.

Hadn’t even got to this before I made the fridge comment … shared trauma, hashtagbondedfraus

 

[Foxvint]

'Closer to homelessness'. Oh gosh I do hope the flat purchase hasn't fallen through*

*sarcasm font needed

 

[usefullyuseless]

Nobody knows who she is when she volunteers at the foodbank BECAUSE SHE COVERS HER TATTOOS AND CALLS HERSELF JACKIE.
call my mother please, tell her that the youngest child is deceased.

YEAH, JACKIE

 

[TankGirl]

Thinking the giving birth video during the sex education part of school was probs the most traumatising though …

 

[DoritoTamales]

Also, I took the tweet by the express to mean that Jack Monroe is a chef, nothing else. I'm not personally convinced she is a chef from the quality of finished meal output I have seen, but I'll let that one slide. They've given each name a category. I think if you sue for a missing comma, that's quite the reach.

She’s literally misused an apostrophe in a tweet in reply. This could be the age of expensive punctuation…

ETA: the other grammar pedants got their first. All hail my people

 

[Eurgh]

DEAD PEOPLE CANT PUNCTUATE.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

She’s literally misused an apostrophe in a tweet in reply. This could be the age of expensive punctuation…

YES.

BIB thread title nomination

Comma comma comma comma comma chameleon.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Knew I’d seen that photo before. It was in my old RE textbook.

 

[lilykestrel]

Quite sad how some of the squigs are now trying to offer genuinely useful advice about taking responsibility for one's own wellbeing/maintaining boundaries and the others are like "na *enable enable enable*"

 

[stunrw]

Just had a browse through the replies from the usual suspects on the hellsite. (Not mentioning any names )

What is wrong with these people? Did they drink lead paint when they were younger or something.

JM could literally take a tit and post it on twitter and they’d get moist

 

[mince]

Coming back for another little mither during kid naptime. Given how desperately Jack seems to want to be famous and in politics, and in the light of Ashley’s by-election win, the difference between the two of them is really striking.

Jack says she’s a campaigner but doesn’t campaign. She says she’s an activist but does no activism. She says so many things but does nothing. She wants to be rewarded and platformed for doing duck all actual work. (At this stage I really believe she doesn’t know what work actually is, never mind how to do any.) She’s breathtakingly arrogant and bitter, and SO self centred that she can’t even be bothered to sacrifice a moment of her own self-publicity to congratulate a former friend on getting elected to sodding Parliament.
(When you catch up here, Jack, shame on you for that! You know how hard Ashley has worked, you know about loads of the things she’s done to make things better for other people, and you know she’s been quietly doing it all for decades. You know she deserved to win that by-election and you know she’ll do a great job for her constituents. And yet you can’t even trouble yourself to tweet and say well done. I’d say swallow your pride and do it, but it would be meaningless now, after your return to Twitter was to spout a load of spite and bullshit at people before doing anything else. Your first tweet back should have been “congratulations to my old friend and housemate on a well deserved by-election win, the people of West Lancs are lucky to have you representing them in Parliament, you’ll do a brilliant job and we’re all so proud of you”.)

In contrast, Ashley, as anyone else who has ever even been peripheral to her would be able to confirm, has always got on and done things for other people. The political ambitions she developed originally arose out of her activism, not the other way around. She’s always walked the walk, and while she’s also talked the talk, she’s never been “me me me”, rather “us us us” or “this vulnerable group need support” or “very proud of the things this group has achieved”. She’s a collectivist, and a proper activist. And like I said before, there are definitely points at which our views diverge considerably, but I would still have voted for her if she’d stood anywhere I lived (and did, when she did), because I know she’s legit and that she really does work tirelessly for other people. She’s a good example of what we should all, as citizens, want from our MPs. Not just in it for herself. In it for everyone. She has always been in it for everyone, even before she was really in it! She’s a good’un.

Love this, winged one. Out of interest, when they were housemates which benefits of doing things for others do you think J would have witnessed, in terms of being able to potentially monetise them for personal gain? Juss thinkin.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

@Lazarus your wish has been granted!

Same squig

 

[mackjonroe]

Has she locked her profile down?

 

[OhGnoes]

Easy enough for the Express to fix. Just issue a correction saying 'We would like to make it clear that we did not mean to imply that JM is either a celebrity or a chef'