Also note ‘80 hour weeks’. What about the other 40, Jack? Slacker.
Jack Monroe #469 Spam fits my macros.
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Not only does she have to appropriate a different character but also a different time. Why make yourself out to be middle aged at 27? Who is she trying to impress?
I can believe it. A lot of absolute wrong 'uns are very charming when they want to be. How else are they able to so readily twist and manipulate? I think Jack must be able to control her shittiness to an extent - look at her dating and love life. She can't keep it going though, and the real her, the nasty side, gets out soon enough.
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I was having a close read of the Hattenstone article earlier and I must say I do like the placement of the highlighted line -
No. If it's true, what a sad life as a teenager. She didn't know who Nile. Rodgers. was, let that sink in (Cringed myself inside out at the New Statesman article. So many🫣 moments.
I’ll pick my favourite few:
• The most important thing about bananas is to buy Fairtrade ones...
I feel as I type this that it may be one of those things I’m disproportionately passionate about
Were the flat laid bananas fair trade? I don’t think so…
• This whole part made me bilious.
On to lighter matters. A friend called to say that she had tickets for Nile Rodgers and Chic at the Roundhouse in Camden and to ask me if I wanted to come disco dancing. Being 27, I wasn’t the intended audience, but instead of asking, “Who?” I had a listen online in the days before. The wonders of modern technology: no more hovering around the radio all afternoon, waiting for a song to come on so we could push down the play and record button simultaneously and impress it on to a cracked old cassette . . . It’s just a quick search away now, which is more efficient but somehow less thrilling.
We went along in our band of four, in luminous shirts and flat, sensible shoes, quite unlike the ones I went dancing in during my heyday as a shots dolly at a local nightclub (there are photos somewhere, but thankfully I don’t have any and nobody would believe it was me anyway). It was a hoot: a happy-go-lucky, shuffling, disco hoot. We managed to be out by 11pm, too – it really wasn’t like that in my day.
What does she mean by “in my day”. She was 27 when she wrote this. I take from this whole thing that she has nothing to compare this experience to because she’d never been on a pals night out like that before. bleeping flat shoes and home at a sensible time. At 27?
I think this might be the one thing that makes me feel sorry for her. My mum’s in her mid-late 70s now and says ‘in my day’ talking about being a mod in the 60s. I’m aghast at how little a life Jack has lived.
) but she's down with the kids regarding music? The same Jack who has written *HUNDREDS* of songs? She's trying ever so hard to sound cool, and failing spectacularly. Moron.
Such a baffling thing for her to lie about.
As someone born in the 70s, I most definitely did do this but by the early 90s wasn't it all CD players anyway? Certainly by the time I trotted off to Uni in 1991 it was?
Also why was she acting like she was in her 80s when she was 27? Certainly explains those bloody vile gold tipped shoes, but really?
Will there be a premium option where if you pay double you get to fire Dave’s big gun? Hit five or more pieces of Cotswold furniture and you win an MBE.Jackfest/Fraufest has to have Big Dave in charge of the rifle range. Us fraus get 10 shots at the tin cans, hit 5 or more and you win a toy dinosaur
Very, very much this, dear
. Sounds to me like she's read somewhere that people did that back in the day, and she's appropriated it. Sad, really.
🥹 oh ninnies I have a confession, this morning my horse was being an arse, so he was WARNED!
Have you sent him a pass agg tweet? Because without that, how will he know he’s WARNED?
I see her eyes are carrying a heavy load again.
People hoping to buy a home in the near future tend to have thousands of pounds in savings in the bank. They haven’t just been boiling soap. Grr. I hope she’s getting paint in her eye.
I've been meaning to ask for ages what era Jack was this? When did she (seemingly) hack her own hair off with a rusty butter knife except for the hideous rat's tail at the front? I think it was the same hairdo as the one from posing-in-grey-pants-on-a-sideboard, so I'm guessing post break-up. She would have really worried me if I was her friend or family, it just looks so...unhinged. An act of self-harm in fact. She's not right that one.
Anto Cocagne? It's what she would've wantedWent to local Morrisonson the way home and saw TK had some interesting placement on the shelves. Either we have a Frau on the loose or someone gave up and just chucked it on the shelf because they have better things to be getting on with. Either way, chapeau dear
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Look, I know we want DRAMATIC PAUSE for thread title but, if only for highlighting the perfectness, I would also nominate “Grr. I hope she’s getting paint in her eye.”
In the memorable words of Ol’ Bridge Jones, even in her mid 20s Jack was a “prematurely middle aged prick”. I mean, despite all her efforts to seem and look edgy she just…isn’t. Plus as evidenced by her Glasto experience she’s just TERRIFIED of the youngsters.
It’s Interesting that regardless of Jack’s own age at the time (from mid 20s to mid 30s), her three most prominent partners Legster, LJC and OH were all in their mid 40s when she got together with them. Her spaniel bestie is around the same age as Legster too.
That said though, it’s more like she sees her peer group as (strange nonexistent) late 70somethings fast tracked from cloistered upbringings through 60 years of suspended animation/cryogenic freezing into comfortable retirements in sea-adjacent bungalows full of CHESTERFIELD SOFAS, with Last of the Summer wine playing on a loop, antimacassars on all the chairs and an inexplicable picture of Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen opposite a reproduction of The Haywain in the downstairs bog.
If it wasn’t for the need to protect the grift, she’d be a leading light in the local WI.
I mean, D&E only have themselves to blame. They should have intervened long ago, if they’re feeling the full sting of humiliation and gossip now it’s only because they tolerated her lying about them, their other children and their grandson for years. Natural consequences and all that.
ETA: I appreciate it’s only recently she’s “blown up” so to speak and before she was a nobody local gossip wise, but that just solidifies it for me.
There’s no way they didn’t see the lies in the many newspaper articles, that Mama H who followed (follows?) Jack on Twitter didn’t see the things about SB and Jack’s siblings and the children they’ve fostered. They’ve had what, a good 10 years+ to step in and act. Narc or no narc, they’ve accepted it, and if it’s local gossip now I have no sympathy. If they’d spoken out earlier, it wouldn’t be, would it? Or they’d be distanced from it/her at the very least.
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Did I dream mid-insomnia grunk that some forensic Frau wanted date stamped Gloss pics? If so, I can help 
I just don't want to be an irritating flap by posting loads of images when no frau asked for them.
Let me know then duck off.
I just don't want to be an irritating flap by posting loads of images when no frau asked for them.Let me know then duck off.
I can’t believe I’m going to defend Jack here but I’m only a year older than her and there’s no way I could use Napster? to download and burn cds with dial up internet so I used to tape the top 40 so for once she could……..actually be telling the truth 
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