Jack Monroe #468 Remove my photo! Warned!

[Valiofthedolls]

I hadn’t appreciated Jack claimed to have been an alcoholic but also to have recovered from alcoholism as far back as that.

I do understand recovery isn’t always linear, and I have a drinking problem myself that I’m slowly recovering from which sometimes goes a little backwards and forwards, but wasn’t it some years later Jack claimed to have realised she had an issue with drinking and told the story of how she recovered from it in a whole column — as though it was a new / recent thing?

It was early and late 2019 that the Guardian gave her the big platform after being sober for a mere week and then a year (she’s since then admitted she wasn’t being truthful about being sober).
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/jan/05/jack-monroe-i-am-an-alcoholic-mea-culpa

Alcoholism doesn't confine me any longer – and it doesn't define me either | Jack Monroe

Gone are the dreadful hangovers, regrets and shame that went hand in glove with addiction, replaced after 12 months with a rekindled love of life, family and friends

www.theguardian.com

She’s done it a couple of times though. @Marmalade Atkins has an impressive rogues’ gallery of her various Before and After (a week/a year etc) shots/tweets etc.

 

[noweverythingsucks]

Sorry, listening to that Greenbelt thing some more she used to sit in bed at night thinking up petty crimes so she could go to jail so she‘d get three meals a day?

And yet the reason she didn’t tell her comfortably off family that she was starving was because she was worried her son would be taken into care? WHAT DOES SHE THINK HAPPENS TO CHILDREN WHOSE MUMS ARE INCARCERATED?

I really hope some of the audience walked out.

An PMSL at ‘dramatic pause’

So in this Greenbelt thing she says she wants to go to prison so that she can eat three times a day, would SB be left to fend for himself then?

My last Greenbelt mither, I promise.

But oh, the torture of that song! 'I should have started in a different key'. Hahahahaha my cringe created its own field of gravity.

Also I don't know if I'm misunderstanding this and I CANNOT watch it, but are you saying she breaks into song?!

I have a theory about Jack and her parents. You know how it’s often said on here that she has this odd dichotomy of wanting to be both admired and pitied? I think that is literally the influence of her father and mother.
Admired comes from her father, she must have grown up seeing Big D being lauded from all corners and wanted a bit of that. It’s where her ridiculous attempts at swagger and toughness come from too. She’d love to be ex army, ex firefighter, have the scars and stories to show for it, to hint she’s stared into the void, done things, seen things. She wants to be tank girl, but ends up as twonk girl.
Pitied comes from her mother. Her mum, afaik, really does have some form of arthritis and maybe even walks with a stick. I bet she grew up hearing about how her poor mum works so hard, either as a nurse or later a fosterer. How how good and selfless her mum is, how she keeps going despite the pain. She also wants that, to be the martyr, bravely carrying on through the tears and pain, because her work is so important.
I hope that makes some sense, I’m still full of Covid and brain fog.

I think ya'll being too nice. I think she has a massive ego and needs people to think she's amazing, but also wants all the attention and benefits of presenting herself as an eternal victim.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Hang on, who outed Nazi Nan? If Big D called his own mum a closet Nazi this family has more issues than Take a Break, and just as bonkers!

In fairness, if that’s the case you can absolutely see how going round to the Squalid Slum B&B to visit Saint Grandad and Nan as a kid would have been confusing for poor Jack.

Spoiler

 

[HotesTilaire]

So in this Greenbelt thing she says she wants to go to prison so that she can eat three times a day, would SB be left to fend for himself then?



Also I don't know if I'm misunderstanding this and I CANNOT watch it, but are you saying she breaks into song?!



I think ya'll being too nice. I think she has a massive ego and needs people to think she's amazing, but also wants all the attention and benefits of presenting herself as an eternal victim.

She did sing and they did say they think she’s a prophet

 

[The carlin]

I think ya'll being too nice. I think she has a massive ego and needs people to think she's amazing, but also wants all the attention and benefits of presenting herself as an eternal victim.

Totally. I don't think many, if any, here would disagree, we're not giving her a pass people are just speculating the origins of what is Jack. However it came about, at 34 years old she's totally responsible for being the ego driven, obnoxious, nasty, lying, grifting malingerer that she is.

 

[HotesTilaire]

In fairness, if that’s the case you can absolutely see how going round to the Squalid Slum B&B to visit Saint Grandad and Nan as a kid would have been confusing for poor Jack.

Spoiler

View attachment 1908365

I reckon it was all bags of tayto and lashings of brown lemonade then goose stepping at fash gran’s house

 

[The carlin]

She did sing and they did say they think she’s a prophet

Think she mis heard profit and went cha-ching!

 

[Bugger13]

Well I’m in trouble with old Harold-can’t sleep so listened to a bit of the Greenbelt horror. It’s the worst Jack of all for me-the smug, egomaniacal glee of having a load of morons listening to her lies and brown nosing her obsessive need for attention. The singing woke harold up & he said ‘what the duck is that?’ then was disappointed there was no video to watch as he couldn’t get back to sleep . So according to Moses Jack, we just all need to start being like crocodile Dundee in New York saying hello to people on the streets & the world will be healed? So much more to enrage-the humble bragging is obscene and also, since when was having birthmarks on your legs lasered ‘surgery’?
I’m off to the hellsite to laugh at how far Jack’s fallen from grace, she’s without doubt THE most irritating, nauseating prick on the planet. Oh and your voice is only good for a mediocre, small town church choir, Jack. And only if they’re desperate for a wobbly, wibbly honker.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

FUUUUUCK MEEEEE
I think I’ve found my aneurysm (another one ).

2012

2013

Spoiler: 2014 😮😡

Sample quotes:

HUNGER HURTS: TANZANIA

Irene is 24 years old, a single mother to a two year old girl. She lost her job in 2012, and has moved house at least four times since. Unable to find work, she is living in a friends bedroom in a …

cookingonabootstrap.com

 

[Snotbuster]

God, is there anything worse than not knowing what to do with all those stray pots of cream one has lying about? Thanks for all that you do, Jack.

True. Of all the grocery items that I have in the fridge, cream is the hardest to use up. And at $5 a pint, I have just loads lying around.

 

[HotesTilaire]

From the past, but I actually feel like an evangelical Christian platform is exactly the sort of place where Jack gets most bang for her buck out of her lies. The more extravagant the "sinful" past, the more impact it has when it's "redeemed" (in whatever form: AA, NA, committing your life to Jesus etc.), and therefore the more attention you get; but you are also not likely to get a lot of pushback on the story because everyone thinks it's marvellous that you're on the straight and narrow again.

Jack should try Catholic confessional. You squint and try to remember every bad thing you've done since you last sat in what is essentially a wardrobe and told a priest about your life; said priest absolves you in a very bored voice and suggests some Hail Marys that you never get round to doing. Job done.

Jack wouldn’t make it through her first holy communion practice confession, dear heart. Understanding what YOU have done wrong is pretty key. Also she couldn’t make her communion coz dress, innit.

 

[imBUSY]

The canals very own ‘Live, Laugh, Love.’

A friend sent me this today (this photo, not actual needlepoint):

 

[hoopdedoo]

A friend sent me this today (this photo, not actual needlepoint):
View attachment 1908465

Want.
Too short.
WANT!

 

[Wooh]

I'm very much enjoying how the comments on one of the quote tweets of that awful 'can't do it any more' post, has turned into a lengthy and detailed discussion about painting furniture. Far more interesting and helpful than any of the smolpixie's shite.

Yes, yes and yes. I think it'd be wonderful if this continued every time Jack pops her head up. It's the best takeover ever. What a way to silence her and her FMs.

I'm off for a 5 hour work shift. I feel as much like going as anyone wants to marry Jack. Ho hum

 

[KebabGirl]

For those mentioning it, we got to 164 hours between Tweets in September during the potato incident. I think we are up to 80 hours now so still a long way to go.

Maybe the house move is happening and Jack is currently arranging her cutlery in the kitchen drawers.

 

[Archduchess of Luxembourg]

I reckon it was all bags of tayto and lashings of brown lemonade then goose stepping at fash gran’s house

Nah, it'll be red Lemonade to go with the massive framed Nazi flag in the front room x

 

[munkibrain]

In this DRAMATIC PAUSE from Twitter, I have watched the scabby-clothed Edinburgh talk again. The mask slips SO QUICKLY at around 10 minutes (you only have to watch the minute) when SHE WASNT EXPECTING TO BE ASKED THIS

Catching up on what feels like a year of Jack threads, when it's actually about a week's worth

Noticed how she mentions "everything in this book has been backed up by scientists and not just pulled out of thin air by me"... Which would presumably be her normal approach!

 

[hoopdedoo]

Catching up on what feels like a year of Jack threads, when it's actually about a week's worth

Noticed how she mentions "everything in this book has been backed up by scientists and not just pulled out of thin air by me"... Which would presumably be her normal approach!

She must have consulted nuclear physicists or computer scientists, because anyone with a basic knowledge of chemistry would spot right away that nearly all of those recipes have huge flaws. As proved by the forensically documented Slopalong results.

 

[Mme Coco]

In this DRAMATIC PAUSE from Twitter, I have watched the scabby-clothed Edinburgh talk again. The mask slips SO QUICKLY at around 10 minutes (you only have to watch the minute) when SHE WASNT EXPECTING TO BE ASKED THIS

Yikes! I just watched the first few minutes on x2 playback speed so as not to prolong the agony. Substitute “depression” with “coke comedown” and it all makes so much more sense!

 

[Smol Pixel]

For those mentioning it, we got to 164 hours between Tweets in September during the potato incident. I think we are up to 80 hours now so still a long way to go.

Maybe the house move is happening and Jack is currently arranging her cutlery in the kitchen drawers.

I feel like that record was exceeded on her last flounce but I can’t remember by how much.