Jack Monroe #462 Tectonic plates make less fuss about moving

[Captainmouse]

Home ownership is gonna hit her like a ton of bricks if she thinks this is the tit you prioritise

Let’s hope she can afford insurance!

 

[Dummyfingers]

I am yet to see any posts that wish Jack physical harm, by others or herself. Not one.
Literally just checked.
Literally can’t find any.

People resent that she’s still grifting, not breathing.
I can’t fathom the strength to deal with THIS BS!

 

[BlairWaldorf86]

Things People Want Jack to Stop Doing
1. Grifting
2. Lying
3. Sniffing
4. Tweeting
5. Cooking
6. Stabbing tins with a knife

Things We Are Happy For Jack to Keep Doing
1. Breathing

Hopefully that’s clear.

 

[Edie Po]

Bores the tits of sheep alll weekend over paint..picks decor that's absolutely bleeping hideous then gets snippy at squiggs.

Pass me a tin of wilkos own purple paradise..I'm gonna lob it at the twit.

 

[Fruitjack]

Lads, my Old Harold who hasn’t LEFT (although might if I keep making him meals from it) got the Bosh cookbook as a gift and can confirm, have tried 5 recipes and in the main they are pretty tasteless and the methods are Jack levels of incompetent, loads of steps missed etc. And they have the gall to write in the intro how thoroughly tested the recipes are. I wonder if Jack volunteered as the less-than-forensic tester? I think this may be a controversial opinion as the two guys seem to be universally worshipped but maybe standards have slipped and crap cookbooks are acceptable nowadays?

Also, I bought 4 egg rings today for crumpet making reasons and can only apologise and say that I fully expect my frauen membership to be revoked.

I hate them. They act like they invented veganism, they have had to apologise at least once for ripping off other recipes, and I saw one of them in real life once at a time when face masks were compulsory and he didn’t have one on in a tiny little shop giving it the big I am.

 

[Lucky Escape]

I am yet to see any posts that wish Jack physical harm, by others or herself. Not one.
Literally just checked.
Literally can’t find any.

People resent that she’s still grifting, not breathing.
I can’t fathom the strength to deal with THIS BS!

Does anyone know where the 'stop breathing' thing came from originally?

Is it to do with SB acting as a young carer during one of her opioid-fuelled dino naps?

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

Who knows. Whatever Jack said was probably a lie, different day, different lie I suppose. And I can't remember anyone mistaking them for wallpaper. Just expensive curtains.

Someone did misidentify them as wallpaper and post a link to the cost. She obviously reads here very carefully.

 

[MoistenedGussets]

Things People Want Jack to Stop Doing
1. Grifting
2. Lying
3. Sniffing
4. Tweeting
5. Cooking
6. Stabbing tins with a knife

Things We Are Happy For Jack to Keep Doing
1. Breathing

Hopefully that’s clear.

I concur wholeheartedly...

But I'd add to the top section "buying unsuitable pets"

 

[FlirtyThirty]

From the creepy fake AM Instagram

View attachment 1885130

There’s a new one taking the piss out of her “no point suing” tweet as well now. This insta is run by a dick.

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

Sunday evening Jack! It’s Sunday sodding evening! It makes me so mad that she chooses to start ramping up the cuntiness on Twitter when people are settling down and getting ready for the work week ahead. Selfish she is!!

To be fair she has zero experience of a full working week

 

[FrumpyCat]

Interesting. It's a harassment technique called 'swatting' when a malicious report is made to authorities supposedly for someone's welfare. Was there ever any hints as to who it was? In reality usually a neighbour sick of hearing tit at all hours.

Didn't Jack's mum post a panicked 'they didn't say who it was?' message. I think the police check came not long after Jack pretended big Dave had shot off his cannon in public.

 

[Lostcat]

I wonder if she’ll treat herself to a new CHESTERIELD SOFA.

My cousin worked for a moving firm for a bit, he said that the WORST things in the world to try and shift were pianos, gym equipment, and Chesterfield sofas.

Apparently they are so big, so stiff, and so very unable to be partly disassembled that getting them in and out of upper flats, or and around the angles of stairs and entry halls was almost impossible. Also they weigh roughly the same as an African Bull Elephant and caused more injuries than most other things put together.

They used to charge triple their standard price the instant they saw a Chesterfield. One time they had to get the front window of the house removed in order to get the thing out in one piece. (When asked how they had got the monstrosity into the room originally, the lady laughed and said they had built the extension around it thirty years previously, and never moved it since)

 

[Brian Butterfield]

PS Jack - you’re a bleep xx

 

[frankychester]

So only 100% more expensive then is it, dummy?

 

[Geetbo]

She’s swapping her unruly labia for two tins of farrow and ball. Very enterprising you have to say.

 

[TbilisiPeach]

It will surprise absolutely no one to learn that this is, in fact, a LIE <pretends to be shocked gif>. No one ever thought she had William Morris wallpaper.

We should start making #TROLLCOUNTERCLAIMS. I know my Frau-lore pretty well and we've always known they were curtains. I think we caused a spike in views on the john lewis website at the time. #nevernotforensic

 

[LavaFlake]

PS Jack - you’re a bleep xx
View attachment 1885185

Mutual exchange of services

Full time work

 

[Veronicaaa]

Is she on the game for Farrow and Ball?

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Mutual exchange of services

Full time work

We called it!

 

[BlendedSlop]

I dread to think what "services" she could possibly be providing in return for her spenny paint.

And "in full time work for the best part of two decades", just lol.