Who wouldn’t want to know a grown woman was pissing in the garden for no good reason in the middle of a lockdown
Jack Monroe #452 Pulped Fiction
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And she's almost burnt the little bastards. Canal, what a day, what a bleeping shitshow. I love it
Crumpets have 100% been poked with a Bic pen. It’s not even subtle. Total crook.
ETA: I also don’t believe for one second she made those roast potatoes from earlier either
ETA: I also don’t believe for one second she made those roast potatoes from earlier either
I know why this crappy dangerous book made it past editors etc. It's because none of them have Pov experience or real life experience. They are all big auld poshos and they probably genuinely think that what Jack wrote was legit appropriate and safe. Which makes it all the more disgusting that they are happy to fob this literary muck on vulnerable people.
24 hours later and I’m still laughing at Jack thinking that lobbing a lump of citrus peel into a bottle of water magically turns it in to household cleaner. Mate.
Somebody in a tent honking along to their own crap guitar playing in the middle of the night actually *does* sound like a festival
It didn’t matter that SHE LEFT anyway, because as Jack, 32 year old single mother of a 10 year old boy who DEFINITELY lives with her, (and the same Jack who left home at either 16 to live with Somalian and Italian flatmates, or at 17, or at 18) told Twitter on May 2nd garden festival day, she’d lived alone “for about 14 years” so when SHE LEFT Jack could just draw on those 14 years for inner fortitude.
#jackmaffs
*I mean, the alternative is that as soon as she learned to talk in whole sentences, her parents realized she was insufferable and banished her to a small hut at the bottom the garden til she left home as somehow a 16, 17 and 18 year old. Either that or her son hasn’t lived with her in a decade or so.
Oh DEFINITELY. In fact, I imagine Festival Jack rocked out to Elbow with guitar accompaniment just like…
Dropping like a stone despite BB upping the promo spend to buy an Amazon banner and removing sponsored Pinch of Nom hits when searching “thrifty kitchen”Saw Marm's screenshots previously showing Grifty Kitchen had dropped to #110
Just checked the amazon charts and in the immortal almost words of Kesha
View attachment 1858733
It's going down, I'm yelling TOOT TOOT
If you've been promised a delicious home cooked meal in the last 24 hours by your other half... perhaps it's time for a quick chat
View attachment 1858737
You fool... you were supposed to acquire 4 Carabinae beetles! Now you'll have to go hungry - devoid of egg rings, unable to open your can of hoops, and possessed of entirely too many fingers. Stop getting poverty wrong!
before and after:
@Valiofthedolls also like this
There is a definite air of the Partridge about her. Doubt Cortney Love would shag her though.
edit: grunking induced psychosis
They look like stale hob nobsAnd she's almost burnt the little bastards. Canal, what a day, what a bleeping shitshow. I love it
Siri, show me an example of ”sunk cost fallacy”
Odd as in infrequent or odd as in ...odd?
Just crash landing straight to the end of this thread to show you all my "what the duck did I just see" expression because this occurred to me.
In police/rescue/medic circles worldwide there are incidents where the sheer volume of duck ups, lack of preparation, mistakes by those in charge, failures to risk assess correctly, insufficient awareness of things like harsh snowy conditions, shoddy planning etc turned those names into global shorthand for how not to do things.
This week we have seen the latest playing out before our very eyes. Grifty Kitchen. Never again.
And I personally can't wait to see who gets fired for the most ball drops because the people in this country don't need more to worry about, you profiteering trash goblins!
Anyone got any popcorn?
In police/rescue/medic circles worldwide there are incidents where the sheer volume of duck ups, lack of preparation, mistakes by those in charge, failures to risk assess correctly, insufficient awareness of things like harsh snowy conditions, shoddy planning etc turned those names into global shorthand for how not to do things.
This week we have seen the latest playing out before our very eyes. Grifty Kitchen. Never again.
And I personally can't wait to see who gets fired for the most ball drops because the people in this country don't need more to worry about, you profiteering trash goblins!
Anyone got any popcorn?
What a day! A continued Jack chaos, creepy Paul from TikTok chaos & the affidavit from the Idaho murders being released. Thankful that my dog has me up camping on the couch as she’s scared of the wind, gives me a chance to catch up.
keep it up canal, you are all a bunch of funny funny fraus
keep it up canal, you are all a bunch of funny funny fraus
David Brent can actually play though. His band were once supported by a little known Scottish outfit called Texas! Plus, just like Georgia Church Suppers (and unlike Jack’s songs and poetry), that song is an absolute banger.
Jack’s still making resolutions to learn to play guitars she’s either been moving from house to house since before THE POVERTY or sold in THE POVERTY and was bought two FANCY ones by a kindly partner.
David Brent can also definitely drive. No word on whether or not he can swim, but that’s two up on Jack already.
I get “Will playing guitar around the campfire“ in Inbetweeners 2 vibes from 
Jack
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