Sorry, Jack, I’m going to downgrade your 161 to 160 as you clearly didn’t read Georgia Church Suppers.View attachment 1845579
Did she duck finish a book every 2-3 days last year
Why am I even bothering.
Jack Monroe #447 Can’t even tell the truth about owning her own book
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I watched that this morning. Couldn't help but notice the parallels.
Where would she find the time with all the twittering and reading about herself on tattle and M-N?!View attachment 1845579
Did she duck finish a book every 2-3 days last year
Why am I even bothering.
The sad thing is this shows she’s experienced very little growth in the past year, and may have even regressed further. She did a massive self-pitying thread the other day about how she know she over-promises and under-delivers, knows her own “chaoses” etc. So why make (and announce to half a million people?!) such a ridiculous resolution that it’s essentially impossible to keep? I think with Jack, although her fundamental personality is rotten, it’s just the endless cycle of never learning that’s exhausting and irritating. Plenty of people are shitheads but few are so relentless in revisiting their failures and then crying about it.
Her not engaging with the "trolls" is going well then. Lasted about a day? HAPPY New Year - start as you mean to go on you lying twit
Edit: not entirely sure why phone decided to give me 'happy' in capitals but I'm leaving it there as a mini chaos
Edit: not entirely sure why phone decided to give me 'happy' in capitals but I'm leaving it there as a mini chaos
100 hr working week is 14 hrs per day.
Plus an hour to walk the dog
Plus an hour for her "meeting" (averaged over the week including travel time)
Plus 5 hrs sleep (I will take her claim of insomnia at face value)
That leaves 3 hrs per day to do EVERYTHING else - shop, cook, eat, clean, wash, school run, spend time with SB, see her "friends" go to the dog cafe, etc etc etc etc etc including reading a book every other day.
Nothing adds up.
Also, no wonder her mental health is shot if she's sleeping that little. She really should get medical help for that.
Plus an hour to walk the dog
Plus an hour for her "meeting" (averaged over the week including travel time)
Plus 5 hrs sleep (I will take her claim of insomnia at face value)
That leaves 3 hrs per day to do EVERYTHING else - shop, cook, eat, clean, wash, school run, spend time with SB, see her "friends" go to the dog cafe, etc etc etc etc etc including reading a book every other day.
Nothing adds up.
Also, no wonder her mental health is shot if she's sleeping that little. She really should get medical help for that.
Plus her weekly volunteering at foodbanks and behind the scenes work in prisons.
None of her resolutions involved actual work did they?
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* Fulfil patreon promises regularly
* Get a job
(Bookworm Jack is a new one. Maybe one of her new gentle loving supportive friends is one too. We all know how she appropriates stuff all the time. You would think having read 161 this year she would've mentioned at least ONE. Just ONE).
I’m presuming all 161 books were on Twitter …
If she HAD read any books at all, she’d have shared every opinion she had about each and every sodding one.
Maybe she read 161 blurbs.
If she HAD read any books at all, she’d have shared every opinion she had about each and every sodding one.
Maybe she read 161 blurbs.
If my mum gave me eel pie on the only day I visited her I would sue her
As one of the greatest minds of our time, Molly-Mae Hague said, 'We all have the same 24 hours'. Us mere mortals obviously aren't as superior as both her and Jack and aren't TRYING HARD ENOUGH TO LIVE OUR BEST LIVES. TOOT TOOT.
I reckon I was about that when I’d use the “hotel libraries” aka book tables. I once did two Catherine Cooksons in a day. There was a LOT of Catherine Cooksons.
Will she have her burly bodyguards with her while she's exploring loads of the parks/woods/greens in Essex?
Eels make me shudder, not when they are swimming about happily though. Has anyone seen that midsomer murders episode about folk music with eels? Cos that's the vibe I'm getting from Jack and eels. Bonus inexplicable eggs too.
We’re so stunned by the ridiculous reading claims we’ve overlooked the fact that a self certified pov who’s hired at least two full sized skips is still decluttering? 
Quite. I technically read 2 books a day, as my autistic child makes me read ‘that’s not my dinosaur’ and ‘ten little pirates’ every single night.
Egg rings.
I used to run a greasy spoon. I used egg rings every day. They were essential to make sure you could get as many eggs on the griddle as possible without them spilling into each other. But that was a business. Individuals and families don't need egg rings, certainly not ones made out of sawn-off baked beans tins.
I used to run a greasy spoon. I used egg rings every day. They were essential to make sure you could get as many eggs on the griddle as possible without them spilling into each other. But that was a business. Individuals and families don't need egg rings, certainly not ones made out of sawn-off baked beans tins.
I've said it before and I will say it again, I do think she has a genuine hoarding problem. 🫤We’re so stunned by the ridiculous reading claims we’ve overlooked the fact that a self certified pov who’s hired at least two full sized skips is still decluttering?
So there will be four blogs this week then.
How long will that last?
If she manages one this week I'll be amazed.
How long will that last?
If she manages one this week I'll be amazed.
Ah. Maybe she's getting confused with the time she was head chef at Blackfoot. Or when she was working the grill with Daz at the Harvester.
When my dear old Dad was alive, he always used to tell me that my friends would let me down in the end and that family was what counted. I was young and full of piss and vinegar and didn't really take it on board. I thought he was being a miserable bastard.
Then one day, I started a family of my own and my life changed. And of course, when your life changes, so does the way you view life. I was still with my daughters Mum at the time and it was pretty novel having to not only book time off work to get rat arsed with my friends but also square it with her.
Eventually we started to argue a lot and split up but my responsibility was still there. I was 27 by this point but still the only one in my group of friends to have any children. It was around this time that I realized that the old man was right: Friends are for children. Friends are ephemera. In fact to me one of the most deplorable traits in a person (as demonstrated by Jack in that tweet) is the type of grinning dildo that goes round saying 'I'm friends with everybody'. This translates to 'I am a spineless berk without any scruples or standards. I will tolerate all manner of duplicitous and obnoxious people as long as my social circle is widened and my position in the flock is solidified.' So, if JM is indeed telling the truth about this New Years Eve party, then it's a great shame she can't just spend the night doing jolly things with her son rather than engaging in peer approval exercises most of us grow out of in our twenties.
P.S. I haven't had a drink since November 25th on medical grounds and will never be able to drink again. Therefore if you ever see me claiming to have made 100 sausage rolls or being 'all danced out' then the likelihood of this being true is zero.
Happy New Year everyone
Then one day, I started a family of my own and my life changed. And of course, when your life changes, so does the way you view life. I was still with my daughters Mum at the time and it was pretty novel having to not only book time off work to get rat arsed with my friends but also square it with her.
Eventually we started to argue a lot and split up but my responsibility was still there. I was 27 by this point but still the only one in my group of friends to have any children. It was around this time that I realized that the old man was right: Friends are for children. Friends are ephemera. In fact to me one of the most deplorable traits in a person (as demonstrated by Jack in that tweet) is the type of grinning dildo that goes round saying 'I'm friends with everybody'. This translates to 'I am a spineless berk without any scruples or standards. I will tolerate all manner of duplicitous and obnoxious people as long as my social circle is widened and my position in the flock is solidified.' So, if JM is indeed telling the truth about this New Years Eve party, then it's a great shame she can't just spend the night doing jolly things with her son rather than engaging in peer approval exercises most of us grow out of in our twenties.
P.S. I haven't had a drink since November 25th on medical grounds and will never be able to drink again. Therefore if you ever see me claiming to have made 100 sausage rolls or being 'all danced out' then the likelihood of this being true is zero.
Happy New Year everyone
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