Jack Monroe #445 A criminal, liar, fraud, grifter and all round heartless asshole

[DisgruntledGoat]

Lol I was in the pub tonight and at about half 9 my mate gasped and was like “omg Vivienne Westwood is dead!” and let me tell you I ran here. Then saw I had 11 pages to catch up on and was like… the Frauen have probably got this covered. I’m never really surprised by people’s constant desire to centre themselves in tragedy/loss/grief but Jack really does take the biscuit with her tall tales.

Like I highly doubt one of the most famous women in fashion - no matter how much of a rebel and activist - would have considered it a good idea to invite a woman who got fired from a massive corporate contract for saying callous things about a dead disabled child to then invade his parents’ lawn on a bleeping tank. As an anti-fracking stunt it had shock value and it got reach. With Jack there, even after her forced apology to the Camerons, it would have become a circus for all the wrong reasons. You don’t get as famous as Viv when you’re not a savvy media operator. It’s so obviously a lie.

Also sorry but I found it so funny when one of the canal wrote under a spoiler “actual RIP unlike Viv” just as it was announced but it goes without saying right, get those distinctive necklines on all the angelic robes up there, girl.

 

[NellieBoo]

Surely if Jack was such a close personal friend of Vivienne's that she personally invited Jack on the tank driving thing, Jack could have come up with a better memory rather than a complete damp squib?

 

[PickledRadish]

“that’s not my fanny” still makes me laugh and cringe in equal measure. I would rather eat only rotten pumble for the rest of my life than ever catch myself tweeting that phrase.

 

[jenny2603]

Chrissie Hynd always comes across as a genuinely decent person. A pioneer, trailblazer, talented and constantly interested in everything... Outwards, rather than Jack's way of seeing herself only in the way others see her.

Chrissie Hynde is total class. If you haven't read her autobiography, treat yourself. My admiration for her which was already high went through the roof by the time I got to the end.

Surely if Jack was such a close personal friend of Vivienne's that she personally invited Jack on the tank driving thing, Jack could have come up with a better memory rather than a complete damp squib?

Well yes, most people do manage to come up with better anecdotes than 'they asked me to do something for them and I let them down' when a friend dies.

 

[PickledRadish]

Surprised she hasn’t (yet) had a squig calling out how grossly offensive Jack taking Viv up on her offer would have been, given her previous comments about DC’s son. *If* she did get that invitation (big if) then regardless of a prior SpEaKiNg EnGaGeMeNt she should have turned it down without question.

That she considered doing that after the utterly appalling thing she said is bleeping reprehensible. This is my latest aneurysm. The ink on her supposed apology to Samantha Cameron probably wasn’t even dry and she wanted to roll up in a tank!! WTAF!

 

[NellieBoo]

Chrissie Hynde is total class. If you haven't read her autobiography, treat yourself. My admiration for her which was already high went through the roof by the time I got to the end.



Well yes, most people do manage to come up with better anecdotes than 'they asked me to do something for them and I let them down' when a friend dies.

I had a huge crush on Chrissie Hynde in my youth. I LOVED her when I was a teenager.

 

[overdueanadventure]

I could have attended so many things, but sat at home scratching my arse instead.

What an anticlimactic tale it is.

I was invited to join an anti-fracking protest but didn't go. What an amazing, wild and crazy life you don't have, Jack.

 

[streby]

She doesn’t really think that for a second. It’s one of those things she uses like “crushingly low self esteem” so people will fall all over her, telling her how gorgeous and sexy and unique and clever and fabulous and special she is.

Yeah it's just her fishing for "oh YOU don't have a weird little body, Jack, you're beautiful and have the body of a goddess!"

PS: What a way for me to find out Viv died!

 

[hiyaaaacath]

Yeah it's just her fishing for "oh YOU don't have a weird little body, Jack, you're beautiful and have the body of a goddess!"

PS: What a way for me to find out Viv died!

This ^

but also I literally don’t know a single person in real life who owns multiple high end designer dresses, not one. I think I’m posh when I shop at Hush. She really lives in a parallel universe.

 

[streby]

This ^

but also I literally don’t know a single person in real life who owns multiple high end designer dresses, not one. I think I’m posh when I shop at Hush. She really lives in a parallel universe.

You just don't shop in the right puddles.

 

[jenny2603]

It occurs to me that a massive Viv stan like Jack would have kept the email from Viv asking her along for the tank ride. I know people generally frown on publishing personal correspondence but Jack was happy enough to publish DMs between her and a squig who'd displeased her recently. Besides I'm sure anything personal or embarrassing could be easily redacted and still let us see the invite. I think sharing this is what Viv would have wanted, I'm sure she'd be aghast to learn people were questioning the honesty of her good mate Jack. Pics or it didn't happen, Jack.

 

[LadyGarden]

Which recipes or hacks do you recommend from this not-yet-available book, dear squig?

Is it the prunes with prunes recipe or the amputate an appendage with a knife and mallet? Perhaps it was the strain your pasta through an old string vest tip that caught your eye. Pray tell.

It's no wonder people accuse Jack of having a sock drawer with halfwits like this popping up to defend her. No, I don't think this deluded eejit is a sock (also good for straining pasta - top tips from LG, trademarked WARNED)

 

[Bobtheknob]

WHY IS IT ALWAYS bleeping PRUNES, JACK? WHY?!

Squatty potty - constipated with her own bullshit.

 

[hoopdedoo]

Slight merail, but after my cousin finished her fashion design degree she did a half-year apprenticeship in Viv's workshop (this was when Viv's clothes were being made in limited quantities and manufactured in the UK). My cousin said she learned *so* much about pattern making, choosing and cutting fabric, and tailoring.

Viv wasn't just about being outrageous - she learned the technical side of her craft in and out, and used those skills to realize her vision. Unlike a certain smol pixie who knows eff-all about cookery and recipe-writing and tries to blag her way into gigs as an "expert".

 

[Bugger13]

It occurs to me that a massive Viv stan like Jack would have kept the email from Viv asking her along for the tank ride. I know people generally frown on publishing personal correspondence but Jack was happy enough to publish DMs between her and a squig who'd displeased recently. Besides I'm sure anything personal or embarrassing could be easily redacted and still let us see the invite. I think sharing this is what Viv would have wanted, I'm sure she'd be aghast to learn people were questioning the honesty of her good mate Jack. Pics or it didn't happen, Jack.

I’ve got a good idea of what that would look like.

Dear Viv,
Word on the grapevine is that you’re highlighting fracking. I’ve got a pain in the arse, loudmouth egomaniac on the books who’s begging to be involved in order to raise her profile. The one who insulted Cameron over losing a child. You likely have never heard of her but she sued Hopkins. No?
Anyway, she’s insisting I ask & offering to do all the catering & be your PA for the day-in fact, there’s pretty much duck all she won’t do to be involved. Seems to have a thing about you-might be your money and success but if you could squeeze in another one & just stick her astride the cannon or something it’d give me a break from the honking calls I’m getting every ten minutes?
Cheers
Rosemary

 

[I'm not actually here]

Just been off on some random Twitter weirdness diversion and think I've found her a way back into TV....

 

[Mendacious Trumpet]

View attachment 1839103

Vivienne Westwood drives tank to Cameron's home in fracking protest

Designer drives military vehicle through Witney to Chadlington, Oxfordshire, to carry out a fake ‘chemical attack’

www.theguardian.com

Jack tweeted the lawn story in 2020 but I can't be bothered going back for the receipts.

I'll preface by saying I'm not firing on all cylinders today, but I don't think I see any mention of Jack in that article... So what does she think she's proving by tweeting it?

 

[ForgettyBetty]

I always get psephologist mixed up with phrenologist. Luckily I have never really needed to use either word, but the idea of Viv scrutinising her models' skulls did make me lol.

 

[pumbilical cord]

I always get psephologist mixed up with phrenologist. Luckily I have never really needed to use either word, but the idea of Viv scrutinising her models' skulls did make me lol.

Viv, the perpendicular peripatetic psephologist phrenologist prepares to palpitate Jack the pillock in the parlour!

 

[stunrw]

“that’s not my fanny” still makes me laugh and cringe in equal measure. I would rather eat only rotten pumble for the rest of my life than ever catch myself tweeting that phrase.

Im genuinely afraid to ask for 2 reasons:
1) She (hopefully) never said that
2) I will be having a very awkward conversation with IT tomorrow if I Google it