Jack Monroe #437 C U Next Wednesday

[SendReceive]

"20 years of gloriously technicolour homosexuality"

...apart from that time approx 13 years ago that you had a relationship with a man, resulting in you having a child together.

ETA: and the other 'city boy' you dated in 2013 where you whined about his posh mates allegedly looking down on you (can't remember which blog this was in).

bleeping idiot.

All sexualities are interchangeable.

 

[Smol Pixel]

Did she ever apologise or admit that she got this wrong? I don’t recall that she did.

Jack would NEVER!

 

[hoopdedoo]

I’ve slept in a bobble hat on school camping trips. Apart from the fact that you are trying to sleep in a tent in a field full of cowpats and children, lying down (particularly if you are on a roll mat in a damp sleeping bag) in a bobble hat is not comfy. The bobble tends to bash the pillow and rolls around your head so you can’t find a good place to lie. I suspect she doesn’t sleep in the bobble hat because she would have figured this out pretty quickly but that wouldn’t feed into the pov narrative.

If sleeping/existing is the most Jack can hope for when she is alone then I would advise her to get a fleecy hat without a bobble. Millets do Thinsulate ones. Not fancy. Not expensive. Nothing to look at, but does the job.

Or....she could be THRIFTY and cut the bobble off, with one of her many designer knives.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Has she posted the 24 tweet thread or whatever it was yet? I'm debating going to bed or staying up.

 

[GazpachoPolice]

Sorry for causing a chaos tender one, as dear @Marmalade Atkins said, I was making a daft joke and it’s an accidentally upside down wonky AA ref key fob.

She got it after she was dumped, making a big song and dance about it because Old Harold apparently HATED her tattoos (as it seems did Louisa), so it was partially done out of SPITE to OWN them (and needless to say she had the last laugh).
View attachment 1789789Interesting that just like the people who “frequently” told her she’d “never amount to anything”, both her recent exes “frequently checked” she was “done with all that”

Also interesting that she’d been so blissfully happy with Old Harold and so very devastated that when HE LEFT he smashed her heart into minuscule pieces AND separately left her in a crater she was still banging on about at the end of July in Hungrier and Hurtier Solar Lit Soap Gunge, given that he was apparently such a big massive bigot tattoo and lesbian-clothes-hating homophobe.
View attachment 1789807

Thank you and apologies for my own mini chaos there.
Although I do think it’s worth noting that she behaves in such bat tit crazy ways that my misunderstanding didn’t seem completely out of the question!

 

[TbilisiPeach]

I have arthritis in my elbow due to a bad break and I can predict rain three days before it happens. My elbow never lies, unlike Jack and her snowy bunions.
No bunion hate, I have one but I don't post it on Social Media.

Thanks for all you don't do, babe.

 

[Justacatindisguise]

I'm sure that tattoo artists have to start somewhere, but I'd be hecking (<--JM word) nervous about letting an apprentice put permanent markings on my body.

My favourite tattoo was done by an apprentice but even back then there was no way you were getting an appointment two days later

 

[Helatruralhome]

As a doctor in paediatric A&E who has just finished a shocker of a shift please don’t accuse us of “fobbing off” people if we make an educated diagnosis of a condition that’s not scarlet fever. Of course I’m not saying doctors can’t make mistakes (esp when overstretched)—the missed diagnoses in the news can keep me awake at night. And I agree parents know their children best so absolutely should be an advocate for them if they feel they are not getting the right care. But I would hope most if not all of us docs don’t just deny antibiotics for the fun of it but because there are also serious concerns with overprescribing them. It’s a difficult balance to navigate at the moment. Anyway now that’s off my chest I do hope for speedy recoveries for SB and all the rest!

Yes this- I think it must be so difficult for prescribers trying to balance patient care with the real risk of antibiotic resistance..I thought it was irresponsible (and terrifying) that the government were suggesting that they just hand out antibiotics to all young children on the off chance.

 

[Humblepumble]

Frauen , please help me out. Last night Jack Monroe began a 24 tweet thread, but, as is fully understandable, she couldn't post all the tweets because her phone died and her son was ill, and Lord knows how complicated it is to send a tweet these days. Anyway, one tweet in the thread was successfully posted and she said she would post the rest this morning. It's really strange though, and I'm sure completely out of character, but I can't find the remaining 23 tweets on twitter. It's really odd because the thread was supposed to debunk all the accusations against Jack that have been circulating. Including, most notably, fraud. I'm disappointed, as I was looking forward to seeing Jack disprove these claims.

Go well x

 

[ThunderWoman]

Has she posted the 24 tweet thread or whatever it was yet? I'm debating going to bed or staying up.

I am a new frau, drawn in to log on by the promise of my first chaos, and it has been 24 hours of disappointment.
But good evening, dear hearts, I am excited to venture into the canal.

 

[Notaninstamumeither]

Did she ever apologise or admit that she got this wrong? I don’t recall that she did.

Best joke to appear on here yet. I think apologise is another word to add to the list of things Jack doesn’t understand…

 

[Katkat]

Spoiler: Triggering Jack stuff (illness)

I do hope her absence isn’t some horrible attempt to make people worry about her son (or mostly her ) Also I hope he’s ok. You just never know with her do you.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I’m sure someone asked. Are there no Sloppies this year?

 

[jenny2603]

I am a new frau, drawn in to log on by the promise of my first chaos, and it has been 24 hours of disappointment.
But good evening, dear hearts, I am excited to venture into the canal.

Welcome and apologies for the short lived chaos. Unfortunately Jack is a very patient, precise, vengeful little chimpanzee and is presently toying with us. I'm sure we are but a snowstorm away from a proper chaos.

 

[Mendacious Trumpet]

Spoiler: Triggering Jack stuff (illness)

I do hope her absence isn’t some horrible attempt to make people worry about her son (or mostly her ) Also I hope he’s ok. You just never know with her do you.

If something were seriously wrong, you can be certain she'd be letting us know all about it.
Her silence can be taken as confirmation that there is nothing to worry about.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Spoiler: Triggering Jack stuff (illness)

I do hope her absence isn’t some horrible attempt to make people worry about her son (or mostly her ) Also I hope he’s ok. You just never know with her do you.

Do not worry, katkat. These are the cycles that we have become used to xxx

 

[Lazarus]

Or....she could be THRIFTY and cut the bobble off, with one of her many designer knives.

Or her nail scissors

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

If something were seriously wrong, you can be certain she'd be letting us know all about it.
Her silence can be taken as confirmation that there is nothing to worry about it.

Probably sometime around April, she'll announce that she couldn't call an ambulance because her phone was jammed up with thousands of abusive tweets telling her horrible things. Forgetting that she could have just picked up one of her other phones if that were the case. And that it wasn't true in the first place.

The alternative would be that she was live tweeting her kid with Scarlet Fever and planning to eat his chocolate whilst he was too ill to stop her.

 

[Jelly Bean]

So we're still waiting for the remaining 23 reasons why Jack is completely honest guvnor.
I can just imagine her sitting down with her list of stinging zingers to put us twitter right and painstakingly going through them.
'right yes I'll definitely tweet that about me owning a toaster...ah no that one is actually true. Well this one saying my black eye was faked. Mm. OK. I know, the one about me saying I'd got a new kitten but was only looking after it...... ah duck it'.

 

[Switchstreetz]

I’m sure someone asked. Are there no Sloppies this year?

Yes, unfortunately I cut my laptop's hair and it is no longer recognisable, so it is unable to release a sloppies this year

(I'm sitting exams for a work qualification, it's all very exciting )

I wish I had the time, as I love making them, but it's not to be, so if anyone else wants to host the Sloppies this year they're more than welcome to!

I'm trying to be on here less, but totally hooked by Grift and Griftability. Full of anticipation for next episode and the Xmas eve conclusion